The other day I was watching Hooper play with my mom. He was running in circles and giggling. I asked my mom, “What was I like at this age?”. Of course she had a general answer that summed up my personality for much of childhood, but the rest of her answer is what resonated. She said, “Honestly, I don’t remember. I know you look at him now and think you’ll never forget these moments, but you do”. I felt my heart sink into my abdominal cavity. Then I felt a strong urge to grab a video camera and begin recording, only to never stop and have the final result be one long video of my little love’s life. And then I realized that wasn’t practical for many reasons. Then reality set in. Being a mother is about appreciating moments in time, being part of moments in time, and laughing, loving, and cherishing all that is precious in those moments. Because the moments pass. And new moments take their place. And time keeps moving onward.
I look at Hooper’s little face today and try my best to fool myself into believing that I will never forget those cheeks, that grin, or the sound of that giggle. But, alas, the cheeks will change, the grin will grow, and the giggle will deepen and surely life will still be beautiful.
Deep, deep. I think we could all learn to be in the moment a bit more. There are things I don’t remember from just a few years ago! And I’m not sure it really matters, in the end. The present is everything.
I was struck by this the other day when I was telling my son I didn’t want him to grow up so fast. I realized at one point I was my mom’s baby and she too wanted to cherish every moment and wanted me to slow down a bit.
I don’t have a child but I find myself thinking this all the time ‘but I never want to forget this’. Although that’s impossible, I think the blog is a great way to keep a timeline of your life. I’ve popped over from Drea’s and I love the way you write, so I’ll be sticking around 🙂 oh and if you are in labour now I hope it’s going alright!
Stacey <3 xx
I wish I were in labor right now 😉 Thanks for stopping by, am happy to hear you will be coming back!
Oh my goodness, BIG lump in my throat. This is the exact reason why I started blogging, in some vain attempt to remember every detail about my lovely little man, but the reality is just as your mum says; I look back at those early posts and pictures and think I can’t really remember it. I kind of think of him as always being a (slightly smaller) version of how he is right now.
I popped across after seeing you on Oh Dear Drea and I’m glad I did. I’m now your newest subscriber, what a beautiful blog. X
I remember when Kale was really tiny I’d ask other parents things like ‘when did your child start walking?’ or ‘how many teeth did they have when they were one?” and the parents would say, ‘I can’t remember.’ At the time, I couldn’t believe it. How could you not remember when they started to walk?! It was such a huge milestone. But time passes. Milestones come and go. I already have a hard time remembering exactly how old Kale was when he took his first steps. I have no idea the number of teeth he had on his first birthday.
At least we have these blogs, right? Sometimes they can distract us from living in the moment, but at least they help us capture the majority so we can revisit these times when our memories fail us.
I couldn’t agree. My quest to remember is the sole reason I started this blog. It’s all such a blur. The best of blurs.
I love this. Very touching sentiment, and something I think of so often. I sometimes stare at my little ones face when she smiles and try to burn that image into brain to hold onto it forever. Same goes for her voice, the way her breath smells and the feeling of her skin. I know I will someday forget it all, I already can’t remember a lot of her being a newborn and she’s not even 2 🙁