We drove 95 MPH on our way to the hospital and ran about 4 red lights.
Hooper came home from school with his belly button painted purple and red looking like a makeup artist got ahold of him and gave his belly button a good bruising. When questioned about it, he said he wanted his belly button to look like Sonny’s.
As Sonny laid curled up into me in the hospital bed, I couldn’t help but think how the kicks from him while inside me were so reminiscent of the kicks I felt with him lying next to me.
One of the nurses commented as I ate my meal over a breastfeeding Sonny that I must not be a first time mom. It sure is a lot easier the third time around.
I’ve always said that the newborn phase isn’t really for Willy and I, that we’d rather jump right into the toddler phase. But I guess with each child you gain a better sense of just how fleeting and unforgiving time is and for whatever reason, I’m really enjoying this newborn phase. Willy too.
Questions asked by the boys: Why doesn’t he open his eyes? Can we watch him suck your booby? Mama, when are you going to fill your belly up again? When will he be able to tell jokes?
Hooper broke out into full crocodile tears when he had to go home from the hospital without Sonny and I. Through choked up words and flowing tears, he said, “I want mama and Sonny to come home too”. Broke. My. Heart. He also cried heavily after Jimmie accidentally scratched Sonny.
Highlights from the hospital: lavender towels delivered by the sweetest of volunteers and home made chocolate chip cookies.
My first day home I watched Van pick a very large sized booger and was actually relieved when he put it in his mouth, allowing me to stay sitting on my injured lady parts.
Van, being to boob man that he is, shared the following observation: “Wow, mama, that is the biggest I have ever seen your booby”. Followed by, “Can I squeeze it?”.
Speaking of boobs, Hooper made one out of his legos. He used a long stick looking lego for the nipple and it resembled the fembots from Austin Powers.
Jimmie spent the first week of Sonny’s life rather out of sorts. He welcomed him home by peeing all over the hallway floor, the stairs, and the landing area.
I’ve rediscovered sleeping on my back, which never felt like something to write home about before but is nothing short of a privilege now.
My doctor’s response when I told him we’d like to save the placenta, “Um, okay. Gross”.
The following conversation took place:
Van: “How come your tummy is still big?”
Me: “Cuz there’s still gunk in there”.
Van: “But gunk only comes out of your ears”.
Willy, on having another boy: “It’s nice not having to wipe poop out of a vagina”…
My vagina itched in the worst way possible following the delivery. It’s one thing to be awoken by your newborn baby, but it’s an entirely different thing to be awoken by my own labia. In any event, desitin worked magically. Take notes.
I had made a list of things to do once I felt labor coming on on the back of a tear away calendar. When I came home from the hospital, I turned the list over only to discover that I had written it on March 17. Here I am visiting the magic eight ball’s website trying to figure out when this baby would come when all I had to do was look on the back of my pre-labor to-do list.
Van peed in his bed one night, followed by throwing up in his bed the night after that. Willy has been in charge of household duties so Van spent the next two nights sleeping on semi-barf sheets.
I texted my mom “shit just got real” the morning Van woke up with said throw up. I thought that day would be the day that would do me in but it was the next day, when Van was back to being healthy, that the first I-don’t-know-if-I-can-do-this tears started flowing. Luckily, they came and went.
I’m eating my placenta, which sounds better than the truth which is I had it encapsulated. I’ve never had post partum depression but as soon as I heard that it could* help with post partum hair loos, you better believe I was in.
Sonny’s belly button stump smells like an ape’s armpit. We ended up using alcohol on it to speed up the falling-off-process and I’m happy to report that the problem has been resolved.
Willy caught a video of me giving birth and I’ve only been able to watch it once or twice. In fact, every time Sonny cries that high-pitched newborn cry I am reminded of that video and equally troubled as the first time I saw it.
Sonny’s balls are the size of the rock of Gibraltar.
Van refers to the suction/bottle part of my breast pump as “water blasters” and has taken to carrying them around the house, one in each hand, shooting them like you would a gun.
Hooper asked if he could carry Sonny down the stairs, pointing out the fact he’s 5 and therefore totally trustworthy.
I saw this video on Tosh.0 the other day. Willy and I must have replayed the video over twenty times, each time laughing just a little harder and each time shedding just a few more tears. I shouldn’t be laughing, after all, I presume my asshole will be hurting soon enough. Either way, this video is just too funny not to share. Laughter is just the medicine I need. I’ve been quite anxious the last couple days and am wondering where the girl who wrote A Family of Three post went as I’m struggling to find that peace I referred to.
1. Speak with different midwives in the area. All the midwives I spoke to seemed to offer different types of advice for getting insurance coverage and were extremely helpful and hopeful. Ask your midwife for specific information like their license number, EIN and NPI number, and even the CPT code. These are all helpful to have on hand and eventually necessary when finally getting through to your insurance company.
2. Call the member services 800 number on your insurance card and explore exactly what your benefits are.
3. Get transferred to the medical management department and explain that you are in need of pre-authorization or pre-certification for midwife services.
sidenote: It is my understanding that all midwifery care is considered out-of-network. In other words, no midwives operate as in-network providers. This does not, however, mean that they won’t cover it. It simply means that they need to agree to cover it before they are billed for such services in order to guarantee payment.
4. Get connected with a nurse case manager. This person is your best friend. Be nice, but be painfully persistant. This person is the one that actually applies for the pre-certification. You want this person on your team. This person will also be in close contact with your midwife, as they need information from both ends to make it all happen.
5. Your nurse case manager will initially try to explain that you need to stick to in-network providers. They will do their own search of in-network midwifery services and tell you to start with that list of providers first. My case manager prompted me to search through what she described as “2 pages of in-network providers”. When I ran the same search, there certainly were two pages. All the providers had the same address and phone number, however. When I called, they explained that they worked out of a hospital in downtown Los Angeles and did not offer home birth services. For those that are familiar with the LA area, you know that trying to get to downtown LA, depending on the time of day, could be insane. Especially for a laboring woman. This prompts the next step…
6. Explain why their list of in-network providers will not work. I explained that not only do they not offer the care I’m looking for, but that I’d also run the risk of delivering on the side of the road as navigating through LA traffic while in active labor wasn’t the safest plan. They will then proceed with obtaining what they call “in for out” coverage or in-network benefits for out-of-network providers.
7. Call daily for updates.
8. Obtain your pre-authorization number.
Wow, I can’t believe it can all be summed up in 8 steps. The entire process took about a week. Here are some additional tips I had found in my research:
-Keep notes of dates, times, people, and departments that you speak with.
-If you feel like you are coming up against a bump in the road, explain that you are trying to save them money. If the person you are talking to doesn’t seem thankful for the fact that a home birth is much more affordable for the insurance company than a hospital birth, then ask to speak to their supervisor. If the supervisor is a carbon copy of the idiot you were just speaking with, ask to speak to their manager. Eventually you will speak with someone who appreciates the save in cost.
-If they deny the pre-authorization, ask for details regarding the appeal process. I fortunately know nothing about this process other than it exists and others have successfully appealed, so if you are in this position, do not give up!
…And now, some inspirational birthing images: