Mr. Personality

Can I be candid for a moment without being judged? Here comes honesty: I’m not looking forward to having a newborn. Wow, that sounds harsh, right? Let me expand on that. Newborns are miraculous creatures, they really are. They are fun to stare at while marveling over their creation and existence and ability to survive. But beyond that, they don’t really do much. I mean puppies are born with the ability to walk. Isn’t that crazy? I mean you think about all the stages a newborn goes through and it’s like a freaking celebration when they roll over for the first time weeks after their born. Willy and I have said time and time again that we wish we could birth a one year old and start out at the fun stage immediately. Instant gratification.
And that’s based solely on our experience with Hooper. Because 11 months after he was born, a personality started to flourish. Who knew he would ever be anything more than a blob? And since that time, his personality has grown exponentially. And it is so. freakin’. fun.
I embrace the newborn stage wholeheartedly because I know now what it leads to. Dear 16 month old little humans, you guys are so rad.

Hooper @ 16 Months

Growth: You haven’t been weighed or measured this month but what I can tell you is that you are growing out of your 12 month pajamas and into the 18-24 month sizes. We bought you new shoes this month, as your feet have grown out of the size four. We opted to get you a size five instead of a 4.5 so you have some room to grow and we can save some money. You’re still wearing size 4 diapers. I’m starting to lose track of how many teeth you have, but you definitely have four front teeth on top and four on the bottom and I believe you have 3 molars with one more just pushing it’s way through. You handle teething like a champion. With the exception of some extra fussiness for a night, we’d have no idea. In fact, I checked your mouth just the other night because you were a bit on the fussy side and that’s when I discovered three had already come through and one side was swollen, prepping for another little rascal to join the others. Not sure when the three others came through and why those didn’t seem to bother you, but this mama ain’t complaining.
Feeding: You eat a lot of what you like. You can polish off a container of fresh raspberries in two days, possibly one if I let you. Those are your favorite at the moment, as blueberries have fallen to the wayside. You’ve also become a mac n’ cheese monger. We discovered this one night at Red Lobster where you ate an entire plate of mac n’ cheese faster than the Wiggles can jump into their big red car. Raisins are still your favorite snack. As a result there are always stale raisins at the bottom of my purse. You could care less, you’ll eat em’ however you find em’. Other things you’re fond of these days are whole wheat bagels with cream cheese, carrots with ranch, scrambled eggs with cheese, yogurt, chicken fried rice, chicken pesto pasta, ground beef with taco seasoning, most any cheese and, of course, chicken nuggets. If you’re really good, we’ll give you a nugget of dog food for dessert, which is still your all time favorite. Seriously. You also have a new obsession with the temperature of your food and like to think everything is “ha-ha-ha” or hot. 
You drink anywhere from 15-25 ounces of whole milk a day. You’ve also finally started to like juice, which we discovered the same night at Red Lobster. Although in hindsight, I’m not sure if it was the juice you liked or if it was just the cup and straw that you truly fancied. Either way, we discovered that night that you can drink from a straw. It was exciting. 
(note the food on Sarah’s face)
Sarah is never far away when food is around and you are still very nice about sharing with her. I’ve come to think having a dog is absolutely essential for no other reason than their contribution to clean up. Sarah really cuts down on the post-meal pick-up.
Sleeping: I hope you teach your bother early on how awesome it is to sleep through the night and take long naps, cuz you are king of sleeping. When you’re awake, you never stop moving and then you crash, but you’re moving right up until I place you in your crib. Then you grab your blanket, stick those two fingers in your mouth, and you’re out. It’s lovely. Typically you play for a while in your crib before you’re ready to come out. Other times you whine until someone comes in. Either way, as soon as that door opens, the first thing out of your mouth is “ca-ca” as you grab your diaper. Yes, you love to notify us of the shit in your pants. If papa’s around and hasn’t heard this proclamation, sometimes I convince him you said “pa-pa” and with honor and pride he comes running into your room to free you from your little prison. He’s never too stoked with the surprise. Other times you say “ca-ca” but haven’t shit, Papa coined this the feces fake out.
Talking: Oh your little voice just melts my heart. The repetitive baby talk like ca-ca, ma-ma, pa-pa, da-da is one thing, but when those two syllable words or words with meaning attached come out of your mouth I just want to eat you all in one massive bite. The way you say “baby” is just precious as can be. You see a picture of yourself on the computer and declare, “baby”. You see a 6 year old on the side walk and declare, “baby”. You point to my belly and declare, “baby”. You see a stroller, or even a wheelchair, and declare, “baby”. And yes, in case you’re wondering, it’s quite embarrassing when you refer to a 90 year old woman being pushed around in a wheelchair as a baby. You’ll be there one day too, you know. You also say “yellow”, but it comes out “weyow”. Willy has you saying “Willy”, but it comes out like “wewwE”. You say “een” for “green” and “bo” for “blue”. You also say “bone”, “broom” (though you still roll the “r” with your lips), “whoa”, “koki” for “cookie”, and “bayoon” for balloon. You’ll repeat just about anything, but you have surprisingly made no attempt to say “Sarah” or even “doggie”. Not sure why, she’s clearly your best bud. 
As I mentioned before, you are enthralled with hot things. You point to lights and the oven and stove and proclaim “ha-ha-ha”. We’ve tried to convince you that things we don’t want you to touch like our iPhones are also hot, but I think you’re just confused or know we’re fibbing because you’ll go ahead and touch it anyway. You’re also still obsessed with brooms and point out, wherever we are, where the broom is. It’s funny, nearly every major establishment has a broom tucked away somewhere. Not sure how, but you always spot them.
Development: Hooper, seriously, what’s with the pinching when you want to get your way? Your little fingers are like claws and you sink them into my skin like an overweight man with butter on his legs in quick sand. Or something like that. Really though, who taught you to pinch? Sarah doesn’t have thumbs, so I can’t blame her for this one. What I can blame her for is your behavior with other children. Yes, you treat your counterparts like dogs. You want them to chase you like Sarah does, so you initiate a game of chase by going up to other children and hitting him, or tagging them as I prefer to call it. I know you are not trying to be malicious, but if some little boy did that to you I’d want to whop him from here to China, where they could put him to work in a factory and feed him only stale rice. What I’m trying to say is that children are not animals and you cannot play with them like you do with Sarah. Capiche? I feel like handing each kid you hit a buck and saying “I’m so sorry”. You’re like the boy that was raised by wolves. The only play you’ve learned has been from Sarah and it’s very aggressive and hands on. Not sure what to do about this.
You know most of your body parts and can point out things like your teeth and knees, in addition to your head, hair, eyes, ears, nose, and feet. You love a good game of chase or simply running back and forth between your Papa and I. You could stay outdoors forever, making games out of throwing dirt into the ivy or reorganizing the rocks. You still love YouTube videos and are especially into the Wiggles. Papa and I know Greg, Murray, Anthony, and Jeff well and can’t get over their silly antics. Those Wiggles are really something.
Your confidence is budding so beautifully. You’re so stoked on yourself. It’s funny to witness as you do something for the first time or do something you think is so cool and this tidal wave of pride just washes over your little face in the sweetest way. You wear confidence beautifully and I hope it never leaves.