Portrait Series | September

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Willy: beat his record of consecutive days without taking a shower.

Hooper: walked into us tending to Sonny, who had blood all over him and all over us, and said, ‘HOLY SHIT’.

Van: was mad about something and completely disappeared, prompting Willy and I to grow near frantic. He popped out from behind a door upstairs just before we were set to call the police.

Sonny: fell and busted his lip and left our home looking like a murder scene.

Me: got Jimmie water using my feet while flossing my teeth and felt like the ultimate mulittasker and earned the nickname ‘fancy dandy’ from Willy.

Jimmie: cleans up blood just as well as he cleans up discarded food from the highchair.

Portrait Series | May

the stork & the beanstalk photograhythe stork & the beanstalk photograhyA portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Had to have his side of the bed cropped out of the shot because, well, #men. Also went to Austin for a 4 day long bachelor party which puts me in the worst mood and makes me want to punch the organizer of such in the face.

Hooper: Started wiping his butt after he peed. When I inquired why he was doing so he said, “because we had to leave earlier and I didn’t have time to wipe it real good”. We had left 6 hours prior.

Van: Asked me, while in a very public restroom, why grown ups have hair on their ‘peeps’. Which, to be honest, doesn’t make me skip a beat — it’s the matter-of-fact stuff in parenting, for me, that’s the easy stuff.

Sonny: Was more fussy than usual on Memorial Day when my mom pointed out that he seemed hungry and Willy and I looked at each other and realized we never fed him lunch.

Me: Dyed my hair for, get this, the first time ever. Minus squeezing lemon juice in my hair in high school.

Jimmie: Loves me more than anyone else. This past month more so than usual.

Portrait Series | November

san-clemente-family-photographer-2241 san-clemente-family-photographer-2269A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Earned the title of ‘piñata king’ at Hooper’s birthday party after arguably having more fun manning the piñata than the kids did trying to hit the damn thing and then promptly fell backyards over the grill, landing flat on his back and proving that it might be best to limit your alcohol intake at your kid’s birthday. Or not.

Hooper: Turned six and is all the sudden so grown up.

Van: Protested, “My legs are too tired. I can only walk to my candy”, said after we requested he work for his candy by doing a little jig.

Sonny: Like both of the boys that came before him, found the dog food and liked it.

Me: Hid in the shower after asking Van to close his eyes and count to five. We weren’t playing hide and seek. Catch my drift?

Jimmie: Isn’t a fan of the gates we put up on the stairs and can be found whimpering at either end whenever the dreaded separation from one of us occurs.

Portrait Series 2016 | June

San Clemente Family Photographer-1102 San Clemente Family Photographer-1120A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Proclaimed that kids are put on this Earth to make us age faster, die quicker, and use less resources. Also proclaims to be MVP of the bachelor party he just got back from.

Hooper: Told me he was bored for the first time ever. So that cat is out of that bag. Also says he wants 150 babies but will settle for just one more. I feel the same way.

Van: Decided to pee in Jimmie’s water bowl and then came and told me about it. Also told me he wasn’t going to marry me after I told him he had to throw his trash away before having his show turned back on (for the record, the marriage was over as soon as he peed in the dog bowl).

Sonny: Found his feet.

Me: Agreed to wanting to poop like a deer (however that is) and stepping in it to make my 5-year-old think I’m cool and then had an existential crisis. Momentarily, anyway.

Jimmie: Picked up kennel cough from doggy daycare. There were nights filled with hacking. Just when you thought having a new-ish-born at night was tough…

Portrait Series, 2016 | March

San Clemente Family Photographer-4011 San Clemente Family Photographer-4035A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: expressed a desire to have his hair grow faster and asked if men can take prenatal vitamins.

Hooper: Reached full blown kid status after naturally ripping holes in two pairs of his jeans within the same week.

Van: Has been so strong willed as of late he has be wondering if the Leo within has surfaced or if the middle child phenomenon really is a thing.

Sonny: Consistently thinks my nipple is on my arm no matter how many times I direct his rooting mouth back to the center of my body.

Me: Combating some serious feelings of baby fever already… Wondering if I’ll ever be content calling it quits on this baby making gig.

Jimmie: Lost some degree of interest in Sonny just as soon as his smelly umbilical stump fell off.

Fifteen

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A portrait of my family once a week, every week except for last week, in 2015
Willy: Went hunting around his parent’s yard with his brother in search of black widows (found two) and scorpions all in the name of ‘showing the boys’, but it ought to be noted that no one seemed to get as much pleasure out of his shenanigans than himself and his brother. Funny to watch the big brothers teach the little brothers.
Hooper: Told me he was going to eat me up as part of a goodnight feast. This was right after he told me that I smell good and look tasty. He also said he would cook me in the fire and put peanut butter on me. I told him, “You’re going to be in big trouble, Mister”, to-which-he-replied, “I’m not Mister, I’m Hooper”. And he went to bed.
Van: Confessed that he didn’t make ca-ca, but he did fart and that there may be boogers in his diaper. Not sure what that even means. Also, got in trouble for hitting Jimmie to-which-he argued, “but he’s licking my jammies”. I told him that Jimmie is licking him because he loves him, to-which-he said, “He don’t love jammies, jammies don’t talk”.
Me: Still battling an annoyingly achy neck, but started physical therapy (again) this week and hope to be feeling better soon. Feeling overwhelmed, too, with how busy things are going to be in the next few months. Trying desperately to stay organized while fighting the crankiness that comes with a sore neck.
Jimmie: Got his moment in the spotlight with an instagram campaign for Nutrish Dog Food. Also had several Mexican standoffs with the feral cats in Arizona.
Weekly Resolution: We resolved to open our mail every single day. Fortunately we both shrugged this one off, relief filling our veins because we’ve been doing pretty good with keeping up with the mail. We’re both dreading the week we pick that little tiny paper out of the jar that says we can’t watch any TV. 52weekproject-b

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Thirteen

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A portrait of my family once a week, every week, in 2015
Willy: Bounced back surprisingly fast from his trip to Vegas. Also finally used the new smoker he purchased and made some killer chicken wings. I was taking Jimmie for a walk while he was cooking and I’m pretty sure I could smell the applewood smoke from blocks away. If you could eat a camping trip, it’d taste like Willy’s smoked chicken wings. It might be the buy of the century.
Hooper: Was being an a-hole and got threatened with a time out on the patio. He asked how long the time out would be for and Willy told him he may have to spend the whole night out there, to-which-he-begrudgingly replied, “people don’t spend the night out here, roly polies sleep out here”. Then when he saw Willy doing something he wanted to be a part of, he asked to help him. Willy declined, reminding him he was on timeout, to which Hooper replied, “That’s what love is though… like when I help you take suitcases up to the hotel room”. Sometimes it’s hard to keep him in timeout. First borns sure seem to know the way to your heart, don’t they?
Van: Was asked to interpret Jimmie’s barking and stated, “He’s saying he pooped in the refrigerator”. I swear he’s never watched Anchorman.
Me: Have been trying how to navigate how to get the boys to stop hitting me. In the words of one of my favorites, I don’t know if I’m the boxer or the bag.
Jimmie: Barks in the morning when he knows one of us is available to fill his bowl but it remains empty. He’s not too bright, but he’s certainly not dumb. 52weekproject-b

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Ten

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I had to include the last one because clearly these are just becoming a debacle.
Willy: Made his first tattoo appointment in over a year; definitely a testament to how busy our lives have been as well as to our move. He came with not one, but two, new tattoos. He had his work done by @chris_de_armas and it looks great. Also spent two nights out in the desert for work, which I’m documenting here for no other reason than the fact that this series is making me fully aware of how often we’re on the move.
Hooper: Saw me whipping up water Van had spilled on the floor and thanked me for cleaning his ‘race track’. Then he told me he had an itch in his butt and scratched it. Also got in trouble at school for saying the word “poop”. After his teacher snitched on him, I spent the entire way home debating if she really had a problem with him saying “poop” or if he dropped the “s*#%” bomb. He also likes to point out the fact that his grandpa refers to “poop” as “feces”, so I considered that as well. I had to tell him that he could use the word “poop” at home but that he cannot use it in the classroom if his teacher does not like it. Trying to navigate the whole respect-your-teacher road. And… declined Van’s invitation to go play downstairs because he wanted to cuddle with me longer. #firstborn
Van: I thrifted a pair of high top converse way back when and bragged about the $3 price tag. Turns out the jokes on me because now Van insists on wearing them and having lace up shoes as opposed to slip on shoes really highlights the lazy mom in me. Or time efficient mom in me. I’ll go with the latter. He refers to them as his “running” shoes and he wants to “run” everywhere. Invited me to smell his fart and then broke into belly laughter when I pretended to vomit.
Me: Spent Monday evening watching the sunset with Tara after several failed attempts versus lazy-maybe-next-time excuses. Walked away thinking two things: 1. Man, her kids have mad love for her. I hope she can drop me her secrets to her ‘mom rocks’ ways, and 2. Not sure why we waited so long — instant friendship.
Jimmie: Didn’t pee on our neighbor and her friend when they stopped by. That’s noteworthy.
Weekly Resolution: We had the boys pick up their toys most nights. And they did so, for the most part, without much complaint; they always started out eager to help and then got whiny when I’d start pointing out the stuff that still needed to be put away. Hooper also helped me empty the dishwasher, which was actually really helpful. The silverware drawer is in disarray, but I don’t complain about jobs I didn’t have to do, so whatever. 52weekproject-b

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