A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
I’m not gonna lie… It was much easier to put together a Christmas list for Hooper. It’s funny how thinking about ourselves becomes an afterthought when you become a mom or dad. I mean look at our list… It has something for the dog and a trash can. Yes, a trash can for goodness sakes! Anyway, this is all we can muster up…
1. Denver Nuggets retro jersey
2. Double trash can (We have a bear, named Hooper, that has been getting into the recycling bin. Non. Stop.) source
3. Led Zeppelin’s House of the Holy & Grateful Dead’s The Best Of, both on Vinyl
Sometimes pulling Hooper away from everything becomes too draining. Especially with this new-human-growing-fatigue. I hate saying “No” as much as I presume he hates hearing it. We baby proof as we go. The lastest thing we did was to move all the potted plants outdoors. It became too much work to be constantly vacuuming up the dirt and picking up the rocks and washing his hands and chasing after him and oh ya, lets not forget the following:
Note the guilty, “Who me?” face. Gotta love it. Is getting mad at my children always going to be this hard??
The one thing we haven’t figured out is what to do with Sarah’s food. We’ve toyed with leaving it outside, but it’s not ideal and we haven’t gotten to the end our ropes… yet. Anyway, back to going with it. I saw him eyeing Sarah’s food. I decided to let him touch it. My thinking is that if I just let him play with it, maybe he’ll get over it. Touch it he did. Here’s a play by play:
Oh yes, I love to dig my hands in this yummy food.
Maybe I should try a piece.
Yes, I will try a piece. Yum.
Now I’m thirsty. Oh good, there’s water.
What will happen if I put the food into the water?
My my, look at this mess I’ve made!
Better clean up before mom finds me.
All clean.
Sometimes making the mess and cleaning it up is just more fun. It’s a life lesson I suppose, if we make a mess, we have to clean it up. If you never make a mess, you can’t understand the true value of cleanliness. Look at me getting all philosophical. Off to sit on my rock and rest my chin on my hand and my elbow on my knee.
Yes, i have a one-year-old. And before your chin hits to floor, yes, he eats finger foods. But yes, I also puree as much as he’ll allow me to. The truth is, he’ll eat things mixed into puree that he would never touch if made individually. Here’s what I made him this morning:
Two Kiwis…
Two Bananas…
Bowl full of Spinach…
6 baby Zucchini…
Bowl of Mixed Berries…
This particular mix will last for two, maybe three servings. That’s a couple servings of fruit and vegetables in one meal. Around of applause, please. It’s what you do when you have a finicky eater. You do what works. And well, puree still works for us.
How long did you puree your babies food for? Do you have any ideas for mixing in healthy fruits and veggies when this little cutie catches on to his mom’s crazy antics?
Five years ago today, I went on my first date with the man I know call my husband. My best friend. We had been friends in college years prior, but never persued anything romantically until running into each other years later at a bar. We saw each other at that bar in August. I was with Janet, of course. We were actually in between adventures, which was pretty typical. We had just come back from an around the world trip that took us from Thailand to India to Malta to Egypt to Morocco and back.
I remember the henna still being fairly fresh on Janet’s hand from Morocco, our last stop. We were home a week before we took off on the road and drove all the way to Louisiana and back. It was in that week that we found ourselves sharing a few drinks with a few friends. And we saw Willy, an old friend of both of ours. We pulled one of those say his name and turn around quickly but then glance back even faster to see if he turned around tricks. You know, when you’re not quite sure it is who you think it is. Well, he was who we thought he was and the next thing you know we were all making small talk, catching up on the few years we had missed of one another’s lives. Truth be told, I had no idea he was into me. I didn’t leave the bar that night with any sort of anticipation or butterfly flutter in my stomach.
And just like that Janet and I were off on our road trip.
We came back sometime in October, I think, and we had no money. So started a series of garage sales. Somehow we got back in touch with Willy, who offered us lots of treasures for our sale. Since we had so many, all the big ticket items were gone. We were left with some random clothes and trinkets. Willy showed up with a truck full of stuff which ended up making us the majority of our money that day. All he wanted in exchange was for us to come to his Christmas party. So we did. Next thing I knew, he was reaching for my hand. We held hands a lot during that party. And we kissed. And then I left with anticipation and butterflies swarming in my stomach.
On December 9th, he picked me up for our first official date. I was living with my parents at the time having just got back from our wild adventures. I also just started preparing for nursing school, so I was pretty much a post-college graduate with a degree I wasn’t going to use, with no money, studying for a second degree. My mom encouraged me to have a glass on wine before our date, so I did.
He took me to an upscale Hawaiian fusion restaurant. Little did he know that he’d be throwing down a Ben Franklin or two on a bill when in reality I was salivating as we passed the local Denny’s. I don’t think we’ve been to as nice of a dinner since. Anyway, I digress. Sparks flew. Romance budded. A love was born. That was five years ago.
Back to the present.
Today, December 9th, my best friend had her first ultrasound and met for the first time that lovely little life growing inside her. It’s miraculous, really.
I’m overcome with love today. Love for my husband and love for my best friend.
1. Piano: Fisher Price (another new oldie but goodie)
2. Stuffed fox: from Etsy seller sleepyking
3. Tricycle: made by Plan Toy
4. Vintage needlepoint: from Etsy seller SweetShopVintage
5. Stuffed owl: from Etsy seller FreshStitches
6. Vintage overalls: from Etsy seller starfriendsonearth
7. Eiffel Chair: for sale on Amazon for $89!
8. Oeuf Conversion kit (We bought the Oeuf Sparrow crib used on craigslist before Hooper was born but have been unable to find a used conversion kit. Bummer.)
9. Milk wagon: retro classics by Fisher Price (yes, they are reproducing the oldies but goodies)
10. Vintage Christmas Book: from Etsy seller DaydreamersUnite
11. Raffi Records on EBAY. Have you heard this guy? You can’t get his songs out of your head, but they’re terrific.
When I saw my first positive pregnancy with Hooper, I called an OB right away. Since we had been planning to get pregnant, I asked a few friends for their OB/GYN recommendations. I went with Dr. S purely because my friend had delivered two children vaginally in his care. With the statistics today pointing to a 1 in 3 c-section rate, this was what was most important to me. Back to my point. I was on the phone with the office, gitty with excitement, making my first appointment to come in. They scheduled my first appointment for the following week, at five weeks. They did an ultrasound. We saw what appeared to be a little yolk sac. We were in love. Instantly. Dr. S muttered something about not seeing the embryonic pole and left us with parting words that still make me cringe, “I wouldn’t celebrate just yet”. We made our next appointment and left with confusion and a little speck of fear. What followed was blood test after blood test tracing my HcG level, which was always high and always increasing. In hindsight, I had nothing to worry about. What we saw on the ultrasound at five weeks is pretty typical for what an ultrasound at five weeks should show. Maybe I’m skeptical, but I still wonder if it was his ploy to suck us in under his wings of fear.
We went along with him for a few more weeks before we changed our care and were seen by two wonderful midwives.
Fast forward.
When I saw my first pregnancy test this time around, I smiled. I wrapped it up in a box, put the box in a shirt, but plastic cling wrap around the shirt, taped the cling wrap, put it in a box, and wrapped the box in wrapping paper. Then I gave it to Willy. And then we celebrated together. I sent a text message a few weeks later to our midwife and told her the good news. She gave us the option of getting an early ultrasound for dating purposes or just coming in after the holidays. We opted to have the ultrasound since it wasn’t too long after I started my periods again (I was breastfeeding) and we weren’t completely sure of our dates.
We went to the midwives backup OB, Dr. K yesterday. And I had my first ultrasound, at 8 weeks. Not only did we see a yolk sac, but we also saw a little fetus and heard a little heart pounding. Music to our ears. We had a short discussion about going for another home birth (it didn’t work out the first time around) and surprisingly got a dose of reassurance. Yes, you are reading it correctly. An OB/GYN advised us that a home birth could be the best option for us.
Growth: I spent your whole life worrying if you were getting enough. This is mostly attributed to the fact you were breastfed and I never really knew how much you would get. All I knew is that you were thin. You’ve spent much of your life in the 10 to 15 percentile for weight. I stopped breastfeeding when my supply was nearly nonexistent at 11.5 months. My frozen breast milk lasted another few weeks. Not much has changed in the percentile department. At one year, you are in the 18th percentile for weight, weighing a half of an ounce shy of 21 pounds. You have been in the 50th percentile for height since 8 months. You are 30 1/4inches long.
You have two teeth on the bottom and four on the top. They seemed to all come in a fast succession, but seem to have come to an abrupt standstill. We did an inspection yesterday and think you may be getting another tooth on the bottom soon. To be continued…
Eating: Now that we are out of breast milk, I mix a little bit of formula with whole milk. You drink an 8 ounce bottle in the morning and then another 8 ounces throughout the day for a rough total of about 16 ounces a day. For the most part, you are a good eater. You like to throw a curve ball here or there, but for the most part we’ve figured out what you like and what you don’t. Though, your tastes still do change week to week. It’s been frustrating and difficult at times, but we’re in a good run at the moment, so it’s hard to capture previous frustrations at this point in time. I still puree your breakfast. I do this because you get lots of good stuff in that mush that you would never touch by itself. This morning I pureed banana, kiwi, spinach, cauliflower, and berries. Then you had some flax seed cereal, which you absolutely love. I save the stuff you love for last to ensure you get the stuff I’m iffy about in the beginning. For lunch, your latest obsession has been with deli turkey. You’ve also been a fan of steamed carrots as of late, so I’ll ride that wave until it reaches shore. Snacks include raisins, string cheese, greek yogurt, applesauce, strawberries… all of which you love. I made you quiche last night for dinner. I lie. I bought a quiche from Trader Joe’s and put it in the microwave. This is how I experiment. I was wasting too much food and time home making things, so I try the quickened version first. If you like it, I learn to make it. You seemed to like the quiche. You also like dad’s asparagus when me mixes it with garlic and pepper. I don’t think you get me to eat asparagus before the age of 28, so I’m mighty proud of your vegetable intake. Other things you love are grilled cheese sandwich and dino buddies (which we give you sparingly).
You love to try and feed yourself. Most of the time the spoon makes it to your mouth, but it is hardly the most efficient or the most clean way of eating. Nonetheless, it’s good practice and fun to see you insistant on doing things on your own. Even if you aren’t feeding yourself, you seem to eat more so long as there is a spoon in your mouth.
Talking: You’ve been saying “Ma-ma” for months now, but it now has meaning. I can hear you muttering “ma ma” from behind the door when I come home from work and am fiddling with my keys. Much to papa’s delight, you’ve just started saying “Da-da”. Truth be told, I think you’re trying to say “doggie”, but we’ll go with “da-da” for papa’s ego. “Doggie” has come out a few times but sounds more like “aug-gie” or “da-be”, hence the confusion with “da-da”. Whatever the case may be, you are learning the names of all the people in your life and it’s a trill to see. You’re always making new sounds as well. You make this one little ramble with your tongue and I call you the auctioneer because you sound like a babbling man at a auction. You also like to mimic us, making sounds back at us that we make to you. You can almost see the little wheels in your head spinning as your process the sounds and words we’re making and saying.
Development: You are beyond walking and onto running. I thought we skipped over the accident phase rather quickly because you became so steady on your feet so fast. I was wrong. The problem now is that you like to carry things. Large things. Like brooms and vacuums. You also like to throw your blanket over your head and walk, causing you to run into doors and walls. You got your first goose egg when trying to walk with the extension part of the vacuum. You tripped, of course, and went head on with the corner of the sofa table. You looked like a cyclops with an additional eye on your forehead. You pick yourself up rather fast when you fall and save the tears for the cyclops forming tumbles. We’ve made it a point not to coddle you when you have little falls and it seems to have paid off.
You are strong. Your grip is insane. You can hold yourself up in a pull up position from the towel rack. You can hold yourself up on your arms if I put you in a handstand position. You can climb onto a chair that is at your chest level. You climb off the bed and sofa with no problem at all. You climb up your highchair like it’s a ladder. You are quite agile and fiercely determined.
Sleeping: We put you to bed at 9pm. This is what works best for us and you are comfortable with it as well. You sleep through the night, always, and typically wake up between 7 and 8 am. You go down for a nap around 10am and usually sleep for about 2 hours. Most days you’ll also take an afternoon nap around 3 and sleep for about an hour. Sometimes two, if we’re lucky.
Favorites: You’ve just developed quite an attachment to your blanket and your red stuffed alien-like animal. You throw them out of your crib in the morning and they are the first thing you pick up when you are down on your feet. I try to pick them up when you’ve moved on to something else (they get so dirty being dragged all over), but if you notice there is a protest and an all out tantrum until they are back in your arms. You also love your books, but not all of your books. You only like the ones that have a cut out in them so that you can stick your little fingers through the hole. You also have an affinity for the touch and feel books. You like to run your two little fingers over all the soft animals. And your long standing favorite, “Who Says Moo?”, is still a top pick. It’s the only book you sit through beginning to end that has no cut outs and no touch and feel. It’s just animals and the sounds they make and you love it. You also love, and I mean LOVE, youtube nursery rhyme videos. Nothing else exists when they are playing. I think you’d open your mouth and eat just about anything we fed you with the video on, eating becomes merely a reaction in their presence. You clap at the end of each video and pull at our legs when we’re at the computer so that we can put a video on for you. You are obsessed. Your favorites are the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Humpty Dumpty… but you’ll watch any of them. Over and over again. And then one more time. You also love Sarah’s food and water bowl. It’s impossible to keep you away and you are so very persistent. And Sarah herself, she’s your best bud.
Upcoming: You need a haircut. The hair growing over your left ear is getting ridiculous. It necessitates more of a trim than anything else, but it needs to be done. It will be done. Just not sure how to get you to sit for that. Maybe during a youtube video? We’ll also need to do some more toddler-proofing. You’re starting to show an interest in the toilet lid and I can just imagine all the things you’d love to throw in there. I’m also looking into a few mommy and me classes, as I’d love to have you socialize with more kids your age.
The 2011 National Photo Contest holds some great images of laboring women. As both an admirer of photography and the blessing of birth, I’m deeply impacted by these images and what they represent. Beauty. Rawness. Love in it’s most innate form.
Image #1 by Lynsey Stone Image #2 by Jane McCrae (midwife turned photographer)