A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
Willy and I are fairly certain we have decided on a name. You can read about our previous struggles with chosing a name here. With a mutually agreed upon name under our belts, this pregnancy has my full permission to proceed forward. I feel like giving that little guy a tap on the butt while muttering, “hurry on now, hurry on“.
I’ve been having quite a bit of round ligament pain. I remember the sharp pains in my lower abdomen from my first pregnancy but feel they are more frequent and more intense this time around. I’m sure lifting a toddler up and down all day doesn’t help the muscles and ligaments. I’m also noticing a faint pregnancy line forming down the center of my abdomen, which I also had the first time around. I’m peeing more, getting up sometimes three or four times a night. And ever since I got off the plane from Maui I’ve noticed some swelling in my legs. I don’t recall having any swelling with Hooper, so this is new this time around. I’m trying to keep my feet up as much as possible and drink more water… which, of course, inevitably leads to more peeing. It’s a vicious cycle, this pregnancy thing. Otherwise, the weeks are steadily moving and all is good at my midwives appointments, which are every two weeks now.
On the mental front, because lets face it- pregnancy affects us just as much mentally as it does physically, I’ve been feeling a mix of conflicting emotions. With every kick and wiggle I feel a rush of excitement and urgency. I want to meet this baby now. On the other hand, I think about how wonderful things are at the moment. Willy and I both have some degree of freedom. We have evenings together, just the two of us, while Hooper sleeps. We have mornings that start at 7 or 8 or even 9 when Hooper wakes. Because I’m no longer breast feeding, we can leave Hooper for longer periods of time. I’ve enjoyed afternoons by myself at flea markets without any guilt. We’re at such a good place and part of me grieves the fact that all this will be turned upside down when the new baby arrives. I assume these are normal feelings and feel no shame in being honest about them. Our family is going to grow and expand soon enough and with that comes a period of adaptation. We will adapt and all will be well. Would love to hear from other mom’s who have also experienced these emotions…
When I was pregnant with Hooper, my midwife palpated my belly. Her eyebrows raised and a look of surprise came over her face as she proclaimed, “he’s a long boy!”. Fast forward to his birth, where he measured 23 inches. She nailed it, he was a long boy. And that’s just one of many things I love about midwives; they use and trust their hands.
When I went to see my new backup OB, he confessed that he cannot tell the difference between a babies rump and head when he is palpating a woman’s pregnant belly. He also confessed that although he wears one of the most expensive stethoscopes around his neck, he hardly ever uses it and cannot tell the difference in various heart rhythms. Instead, he said, he relies on ultrasound for detecting the baby’s position and an EKG to determine heart rhythm. He’s young and he’s the product of modern day machinery, I mean medicine.
At any rate I recently read a fascinating article, “The Most Scientific Birth Is Often the Least Technological Birth”, written by Alice Dreger, a professor of clinical medical humanities and bioethics at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine. She starts the article by sharing the answer she received when asking her medical students what came to mind when they envisioned someone who chose a midwife over an obstetrician. The students described a granola girl. You know, they one’s that look almost Amish and frolic in fields of grass and mix herbs from their gardens in their spare time.
I don’t consider myself a granola girl at all, in fact, I’m slightly offended when someone refers to me as a “hippie” because I’m choosing a home birth. Instead, I consider myself very rational. I also find myself to be a hostage of my own principles. It’s nearly impossible for me to do something I don’t believe in. And I do believe in medicine, otherwise I would not work at a large hospital as a registered nurse. But I believe their is a time and place for medical intervention.
Dreger goes on to make a clear differentiation between science and technology, noting that the scientific literature shows that interventions used during birth actually increase the risk to mother and child instead of decreasing it. A bold statement made by someone both in the academic and medical worlds, no? She states the problem with her medical students is that they think that what it means to be a scientific doctor is to bring to bear the maximum amount of technology on any given patient. And this, she says, makes them dangerous.
It goes without saying that all woman want a healthy outcome when it comes to birthing their child. The problem today, she says, is that no one seems to tell them what the data indicates is the best way to get there.
Recounting her own pregnancy in 2000, she says:
“My mate and I consulted the scientific medical literature to find out how to maximize safety for me and our child, here’s what we learned from the studies available: I should walk a lot during my pregnancy, and also walk around during my labor; doing so would decrease labor time and pain. During pregnancy, I should get regular check-ups of my weight, urine, blood pressure, and belly growth, but should avoid vaginal exams. I should not bother with a prenatal sonogram if my pregnancy continued to be low-risk, because doing so would be extremely unlikely to improve my or my baby’s health, and could well result in further tests that increased risk to us without benefit.
According to the best studies available, when it came time to birth at the end of my low-risk pregnancy, I should not have induction, nor an episiotomy, nor continuous monitoring of the baby’s heartbeat during labor, nor pain medications, and definitely not a c-section. I should give birth in the squatting position, and I should have a doula — a professional labor support person to talk to me throughout the birth. (Studies show that doulas are astonishingly effective at lowering risk, so good that one obstetrician has quipped that if doulas were a drug, it would be illegal not to give one to every pregnant woman.)”
Drawing from several experts in the birth world, Dreger points to the problem in the way birth is conceived in America — as “dangerous, risky, and in need of control to ensure a good outcome.” She also touches on the lack of insurance coverage for births outside of the hospital setting, the misuse of science to support the new technologies of birth, the lack of information provided to woman regarding the dangers in interventions offered, and the limited options women in America have in regards to bringing their child into the world.
I had to fight hard for home birth coverage. I wasn’t even aware that coverage could have been obtained the first time around and thus had to pay out of pocket for something that in hindsight could have been covered had I had more knowledge or had someone presented my options to me. Instead, obtaining home birth coverage was something I did proactively. I made home birth an option for myself, no one presented it on a silver platter. It’s unfortunate because I know a lot of women don’t have the time or energy that I did to put toward it, even if our desires for the best birthing outcome are the same.
Dreger concludes by stating, “We’re all very interested in having healthy babies and it is pretty easy to make the kind of cognitive errors that people make, and attribute to technology benefits that don’t exist. At the same time, when there are problems in a pregnancy, that very same technology can be life-saving. It is easy to make the [problematic mental] leap that technology is always going to be necessary for a good outcome.”
I get that this is a touchy subject. You can check out the comments to her article if you really want to get fired up one way or the other. I get that a home birth is not for everyone. I get that a natural birth is not for everyone. I get that some women are more comfortable birthing in the hospital setting and I get that some prefer an Obstetrician to a Midwife. But my bottom line has never wavered: Women need to be educated. The consequences of many of the interventions throughout labor need to be discussed and options need to be more available.
I try not to buy books on Etsy, I really do. I prefer to find them at thrift stores or flea markets for the satisfaction in the hunt and price. But every now and again I come across an Etsy find that I just can’t pass up. This is one of those. Take a look and you’ll see why my knees buckled. It won my heart over with it’s depiction of all the family helping. What a wonderful world it was back then 😉
I mean it came complete with a vocabulary list, can you really blame me?
Lately, I’ve been making Hooper’s purees ahead of time and freezing them in the freezer. Instead of warming them up, I’ve started leaving them partly frozen and referring to the mix as “ice cream”. I think he likes the change of texture and temperature. This mama will stop at nothing to get this boy to eat his damn puree. Not sure how much longer he’ll go for it, but so far, we’re still going strong.
There is nothing quite like receiving a package in the mail. The excitement of opening a gift coupled with the fact someone spent time packaging it and taking it to the post office makes it a special occurrence. We received a package from Willy’s mom and were taken with these vintage treasures inside.
Prior to the strained muscle in my back, I had no excuse not to keep in shape during this pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Hooper I attended a prenatal yoga class weekly. It was a light workout, but it kept me flexible and feeling good. This time around, there has been no time for a yoga class. I’ve contemplated going now that I’m not working, but am unsure if it’s a good idea with my back so instead I’ve stuck with my physical therapy treatments. Back to the beginning of my pregnancy.
I turned to friend Jon Ham, who runs “Fitness on the Run” with his wife Cari, for their series of prenatal workouts. Both of them are previous gymnasts, which is how I know Jon, and the workouts they feature use much of your own body weight which has always been what feels right after years of gymnastics conditioning. With the use of very little added equipment, Cari has a series of three prenatal workouts that you can download for free. Including the stretching session at the end, these workouts take a mere 30 minutes. I used to do them during Hooper’s morning nap, then I’d spend the rest of the day feeling oh so good.
If you click on this link and then again free ebook, it is the first selection. Enjoy!
The other day Hooper and I got in trouble. It was a nice spring day so I decided to let Hooper mosey around the backyard. We recently planted grass and it’s been growing so beautifully, minus all the gnats. Anyway, I watched as Hooper did his usual shenanigans. He transported dirt from the flower bed to the ivy, he played with the rocks, he ran around. And then he started pulling out the grass. It was one of the first times he actually stopped moving so of course my shutterbug instinct kicked in and I snapped away. Truthfully I didn’t care what he was doing, so long as it was safe, as I now had my picture opportunity. That’s what happens when you’re nutty about photography, you see. So nutty you may just wind up in Pakistan when you believed the 24 hour bus ride you were on was taking you to a mountain region in India, but instead you’re welcomed by this:
But that’s a separate story and perhaps just another time my shutterbug instinct got the best of me. You can see now why I didn’t think the grass pulling was a big deal. I mean it’s not like there was a gun in my face. Anyway, Willy came out to join us and we were busted. He was upset to say the least. I tried to be as cute as possible and simply explained that Hooper and I were playing a new game called “Lawnmower”. The anger drifted quickly.
What do you let your little ones get away with when Daddy isn’t around?
Well hello third trimester, glad to meet you. Please treat me well. Now that I’ve officially greeted the last leg of this journey, lets move on to the regularly scheduled program.
Every now and again someone will ask me what I’m having. Of course they are referring to boy or girl, but I typically answer with “I’m hoping for a human”. These days, however, I’m beginning to wonder if it is possible for a human to birth an octopus because these kicks, jabs, and wiggles are feeling more like something with 8 legs than 2. I’m having trouble deciphering the baby’s position because just as I get a kick in one spot, another one comes on the opposite side. So yes, now when people ask what I’m having, I respond with “I think an octopus”.
Of course there is always a line of delineation between what one wants and what one needs. While the registry post for baby 2 compiles a list of things we need, this little list here is things we simply want. Let a girl dream, okay?
1. Aren’t these vintage hangers adorable? Etsy has some available like this one or this one, but I really just can’t fathom spending money on something that hides in a closet anyway. Something to keep my eye out for when I’m out treasure hunting.
2. Kid’s Records. We probably listen to Hooper’s records more than our own. I love the old western ones with tunes like “Polly Wolly Doodle” or “Skip to my Lou”. We also love the old Sheriff John records. Most of the ones we own came in the form of hand-me-downs, but it’s also something I keep my eye out for.
3. I think this coat rack would also work as a towel rack in the kid’s bathroom.
4. Vintage Toys. We have a good collection of vintage Fisher Price toys, many of which were my own as a child. I’m always on the lookout for something fun. Etsy has tons of vintage toys available, but you can find them much cheaper in the thrift stores, flea markets, or consignment shops. I rarely use Etsy unless it’s something I can’t find and can’t live without.
5. Vintage Books. My lovely mother-in-law bought Hooper the cutest vintage Zippy the Monkey a while back and I was stoked when I came across this Zippy book. I have a weakness for all vintage children’s books, nothing beats the illustrations and simple stories of a simpler time.
6. Vintage Clothes. It’s hard to rationalize spending much money on clothes in light of the fact that babies grow very fast and that this next baby will have a closet full of hand-me-downs from his big brother. But, of course, I keep my eye out for a good deal or anything so gosh dang cute that I just can’t turn down. I’ll share some of my finds soon, but how ’bout that little train romper? Yummier than a cupcake, no?
7. Vintage Plastic ware. I swear, this has been one of the hardest things to come across. I have a modest collection from Hooper but always have my eye out for cute plates, cups, and/or bowls.
8. Stuffed Fox. Etsy seller Sleepy King has the sweetest handmade plush foxes and owls, oh my. This fox has been one of our favorites for a long time. So cute!
9. Modern High Chair. I’ve wrote many times about how much I love our simple and cheap restaurant style high chair. I don’t take it back at all. Nothing beats the cost and simplicity. But this beautiful high chair? Ya, when money grows on trees I’m using some fallen leaves to pick me up one of these lovely chairs.
I made my personal recommendations for those expecting their first baby here. Here’s what I’ve compiled on the “must have” list for the second baby. If I’m missing something, by all means, throw a bone my way.
1. Twin bed + mattress + bedding. This is so that baby number two can have baby number one’s crib. I contemplated getting a second crib and keeping Hooper in a crib longer, but ultimately decided it would be better to save the cost of a second crib and invest in a big boy bed that will suit him for the coming years. I realize I will also need the guard rails, which I have just begun researching. The to-do list lengthens. I have lots of bedding ideas too, so many that I plan to compile them into a separate post. We have a lovely vintage twin bed waiting to be handed down to us, except that it’s in Arizona and getting it in time is posing a problem. So, I will be scouring the local thrift stores to keep my eyes out for something just as lovely.
2. Baby Book. Yes, I am a documenting freak. I have a very thorough book that consists of month to month tales from Hooper’s first year. I also have a photo from each week of his life, from birth to one year. I can’t wrap my head around completing it for Hooper and not doing the same for the next baby, so in addition to having this blog and all the stories it holds, I will be double documenting. I already purchased the book from Etsy seller Two Giggles. The seller is very easy to work with and I love that the books are three ring binders. I added lots of extra pages to Hooper’s and plan to do the same this time around.
3. Changing Tray. I contemplated this one for a while too and am of course open for any suggestions people may have. I was debating changing both kids diapers in one place, but then think it would be annoying if one is sleeping and the other one has a shitty diaper and … well you get the idea. I’m not sure where I’d put the changing tray in Hooper’s new room since he’ll no longer have a crib to lay it across. I figure it could go on his dresser, but I’m not so excited to sacrifice decoration for a changing table… but what’s the point of doing a room up if it’s not functional, right? Anyway, I figure time will hold the answers to this mystery.
4. Diaper Pail. You may remember my diaper-pail-gone-bad story from my first registry. In any case, we’ll use the Diaper Dekor Plus Pail for the new baby just as we did for Hooper. It kept the smell well contained for about the first year, at-which-point we transitioned to the Arm & Hammer Munchkin Pail which contains the smell a hell of a lot better.
5. Breast Pump Accessories. I currently have the Medela Soft Fit Breastshields and have no complaints other than the fact that after a lot of use they are a bit worn and in need of replacement. I also need some more milk storage bags. Goodness, even writing about breast pump accessories makes me dread the pumping days that are just around the corner.
6. Car Seat. I’m almost embarrassed to say that Hooper was still in his infant car seat until just a short while ago. He still meets the weight limit, but has outgrown the seat in length. So in order to hand the infant car seats down to the new baby, we needed the big boy car seat for Hooper. We bought the Graco MyRide 65 and are contemplating buying a second seat for the second car. We were fortunate enough to have one infant car seat handed down to us and the second we bought nearly new on craigslist. Since Hooper will be in this car seat for years to come, I’m more hesitant to buy used. But their pricey. So for now we have one. When it becomes a problem and when money starts growing on trees, we’ll think of purchasing a second.
7. Double Stroller. My dream is to own the Bugaboo Donkey because we’ve been so stoked on our Bugaboo Frog that we purchased for a fraction of the price used. Unfortunately, Bugaboo just put out their double stroller so there are no used ones available and the new ones are ridiculously expensive. I haven’t looked at other strollers yet and am putting this one on the back burner until it proves to be a necessity.
8. Baby Monitor. I refuse to take the monitor out of Hooper’s room. Until he is big enough to climb out of bed, open his door, and come into our room for help I just can’t wrap my head around removing it. I’ve talked to parents who say they still use the monitor in their 15 year old’s rooms… for different reasons, of course. But in any case, it made me feel more secure with myself for keeping a monitor in my toddler’s room. We currently have the Sony Baby Call Monitor and plan on purchasing the same for the second baby. We ditched the Angelcare monitor after it started making this awful ticking noise. That monitor can kiss my arse.
9. White Noise Maker. We currently have this white noise maker and have no complaints. It has different settings and is found in every room where there is a bed in our house. Thus, we will need one more. It’s Willy’s preference, really. I could do without the sound of a space shuttle launch each night but it is nice in the kid’s rooms to block out the sound of vacuuming, dish washing, or music playing during nap time.
Did I miss anything? Would love to hear from mom’s of two or more…
Willy’s parents were in town from Arizona over the weekend and although it was a short visit, it was nice to spend some time together. Willy’s brother and his wife also joined us and the house was filled with love and laughter and all the beautiful things that only family can bring. I snapped just a few photos. I can’t believe I didn’t capture any of Hooper and his auntie Maegan. Hooper was in love. So flirty, so gregarious. His face lit up anytime Maegan was in sight. It was special to watch. Here’s a few of the bits and pieces from their visit.
Growth: You seem like you’re getting taller everyday. I think you’ve definitely hit a few growth spurts. You can reach things that you couldn’t reach before and thus more child proofing needs to take place. You like to go up on your tip toes to reach those other things that are still just out of reach.
Teeth: That fourth molar has finally pushed through. You had a few fussy moments with this one, but then it popped, and out went the fussiness. You also have your two upper canines, which just popped through the other day. It seems that your feeding habits change while you’re teething. I notice you drink more and eat less, which would make sense if your gums are hurting.
Development: Your world suddenly got much larger as you’ve recently discovered the sky above. You love to point out helicopters, airplanes, and birds. You like to think of all of your loved ones as personal transportation devices and are keen on pulling at our clothes until you get us to follow you to wherever it is you want to go. Most of the time you forget where it was you wanted to go or what it was you wanted to do by the time you convince us to get off our butts. Though more times than not you direct me to the hallway so you can play with the thermostat. You like to flip it open and push all the buttons. I think you could do this all day long. I signed you up for a little gym class. You were shy on your first day. No tears, but you came across as a boring kid with zero personality. It was humerus for me to see you so stoic. I have no doubt that when we go back for the second class and beyond you will loosen up and show them the crazy little rascal that you are at home. Although I must say, when they brought out the push toys you darted for that lawnmower pretty fast. You love the people that love you and when given the time to warm up to new faces, you are very adaptable and sociable. You have a fantastic personality and a mean array of expressions. What’s the deal with your baths though? Why do you refuse to sit down? You spend the whole time standing in your bath and it’s the weirdest thing to me. I want nothing more than to sit in your bubble bath but am quickly deterred when I watch you pee. And I know when you pee because, of course, you’re standing. You follow directions well and are able to pick up your toys and put them in the bucket when asked.
Eating: I still feed you puree, but not everyday and not without mixing it with cereal or greek yogurt. You’re back on your blueberry kick and scarf those done faster than a squirrel can eat a nut. You’re not one for sitting in your highchair and have discovered how to stand up in the thing despite the buckle across your lap. You then proceed to fall into what we call a “trust fall” and flail yourself at one of us. My back loves this game. In any case, you cannot be in your highchair unsupervised for even a second. Much of your eating is done “on the run” as you can only tolerate sitting in confinement for a small period of time. Then you run around like a mad man while we try to shovel food into the chute as you hurry past us. You’re still picky, but you eat a lot of what you like. This morning, for example, you drank 9 ounces of milk and ate half of a whole wheat bagel wtih cream cheese and a handful of raspberries.
Talking: You love looking important and like to grab your “paypee” (pen and paper) and make pretend scribbles. You’ve started to declare things as yours by stating, “Me”. You love a picture book of animals your grandma Vickie and grandpa Niles got you and are able to point out the bear, “b”, deer “dee”, and squirrel, “quil”. You also know the skunk stinks and each time we pass that page you make a scrunched up nose and breath extra hard. Your papa taught you that one. You also say “yum yum” after eating something you like. When you are about to do something you know you shouldn’t, you mimic us and say “no no no”, but then proceed to do it anyway.
Favorites: You still love watching YouTube videos, the wiggles being one of your favorite. You also still LOVE brooms, trash cans, and other janitorial supplies in general. You’re still obsessed with our iPhones. I’m confident you could learn how to unlock it, but I refuse to teach you. Right now, the phone is only cool because mama and papa use it. Just wait til you discover all the apps. Then it’s really all over. I’m determined to prolong this as long as possible. You still love riding your little giraffe around and pushing anything, including the recycling bin and the suitcase, all over the house. You love being outdoors. You also love organizing things.
Sleeping: We put you down for the night between 9pm and 9:30pm. You sleep soundly until 8am or so and sometimes drift back to sleep until 9am. You rock. You’re still taking a morning and afternoon nap, each one lasting a solid 2 hours. So, you sleep a lot which explains why you’re a firecracker when you’re awake.
Upcoming: We looked into swim lessons while we are in Hawaii, but are unsure if that will work out or not. Either way, I’d love for you to be pool safe by the summer. I’d also like to have your new room complete so we can transition you out of the crib well before your little brother arrives. Oh yes, get used to the idea of brothers and sisters too cuz your papa said the other day that if all kids are like you he wants nineteen. NINETEEN! Please start acting up…
We leave today for Hawaii. The last time we were there, Hooper was 11 months old and the memory of our time there is synonymous with a personality explosion. It’s the beginning point of when I can say the real fun began. I look at these pictures of Hooper and I and can’t help but envision both of my boys in this photo. Baby #2 may not have a presence in these photos and the pregnancy test was definitely not even positive at this point in time, but I know for certain those cells were dividing and doing many miraculous things behind the scene. Oh life, you are such a beautiful thing.
I won’t be able to post any pics from Hawaii until we return, but you can follow me on Instagram by clicking here or on the link on the right hand side of the blog. I’ll be instagraming it up the whole time!
Feel like jumpin’ on a boat, lettin’ your hair get salty, or steppin’ into your favorite tattoo shop to have an anchor sketched on your arm? Well, you might after this post cuz it’s all about the beer guzzlin’ and sun soakin’ sailors. Let’s start with the little tykes, who of course will be guzzlin’ that sweet apple juice and makin’ friends with diseased seagulls in these adorable get-ups.
Now, onto us woman. Here are some sailor styles I’m absolutely swooning over. Several of them would be in my closet if it weren’t for my lovely husband who so lovingly reminds me that I am not working right now. Seriously, he’s even made the Goodwill off limits. The Goodwill people! Oh how I long to own a few of these numbers…
Remember when I told you about my post pregnancy prize pack and I talked about the neglected half of my closet versus the gonna try and make it work with pregnancy half? Well the two sides have started to converge into one big neglected closet. My choices are getting slimmer and slimmer. The dress you see above, for example, had been stuffed in a corner of my closet and did not belong to either of the designated sides. Instead, it was a dress I had thrifted a while back and planned on making work. I had my mom add a liner to it because before it was entirely see-through. The straps still need to be taken in a couple of inches and for this reason, it remains stuffed in a corner of my tiny little closet. But with my choices getting slimmer, I was desperate today. I pulled it down, through it on and did a little twirl for Willy. I broke the only full length mirror the other day when vacuuming (damn you vacuuming!) and have no way to even assess these pregnancy ensembles I’m throwing on. I know, dangerous. Let the seven years of bad luck begin with some shitty put together pregnancy ensembles. Anyway, I macgyvered some bobby pins for a quick fix with the straps and voila. Pregnancy week 27 complete. Hip hip hooray. No promises from here on out. I may just photograph myself in Willy’s t-shirts and sweats.
Concerns this week revolve around me being home more. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. It’s what my back, more than anything, really needs. And spending all my time with Hooper is priceless. It’s time you don’t get back, you know? But I worry that spending so much time with him right before my time with him will be so drastically diminished, is dangerous. I’ve enrolled him in a class, that of course I participate in, to increase his sociability. I also try to leave him with my parents here and there because they love spending time with him. They watched him the other day and I was able to go to a local frame store, Best Buy, the Post Office, the Salvation Army, Costco, and the grocery store. Then I came home and cleaned out the fridge. Sure, my back paid the price, but the price would have been a lot steeper if I were to tote a wee little toddler around on all those errands. In any case, I’m hoping Hooper won’t take out any of his resentment toward the baby. My sister and I always laugh over stories we hear of her throwing bananas at me and referring to me as “the Beast”, but I’m sure at the time it wasn’t funny. I’m sure at the time it was a major concern. Not sure how to make the transition a smooth one, but I’m all ears for any advice for those of you who have been in the same situation.
In other pregnancy related news, the baby has had hiccups this week. It’s only happened once, but I recognized that rhythmic thumping instantly. Time also seems to be picking back up. With the next few weeks jammed back with in-laws having just left and then a vacation (what’d you say!?) planned for this week, the third trimester will be here before I know it. Oh dear time, keep up the pace.
I’m telling you, these style shoots are next to impossible. See the raisins in the photo above? Yup, bribery. Here’s what the shoot looked like before the raisins made their appearance:
We had a girl name agreed upon. Truth be told, we even referred to my belly by this time from time to time as a sort of trial. You know, to see how it sounds when you actually use it in a sentence or refer to it as an actual being. And we loved it. We had a nickname ready as well that we equally loved, and that’s rare. There are a billion names I like, but when I look at the second name that goes with them… well, they take themselves off my “maybe” list. I love Charlie, for example, but could never live with Chuck. We’re so stuck on a boy’s name.
Hooper’s name was decided long before he was conceived. Before we were even got married, I had made the suggestion. It’s a family name and one I did not want to lose. Even if Hooper were a girl, we toyed with keeping the name anyway.
And I just can’t come up with something comparable. It seems unfair to give a name with such meaning and character to our first and not be able to give the same to our second. I can practically hear the clock ticking on this pregnancy and with each passing week I grow a little more fearful of the fact we have yet to settle on a name.
I was destined to be a mom. I have a list of potential baby names stored away in an old journal to prove my commitment to one day mothering a child. I look at those names now and think, what the heck was I thinking? On the girls’ list, juxtaposed next to the boys’ list, there are double the amount of options and several that I’m still fond of. So… we’ve become hard core players in the baby name game. Stay tuned… this little bee will have to be named at some point and I promise it will not be Bob, Jim, or Ted…
Can we pause for a moment and bask in the fact it is Friday? And what a beautiful week of Spring it has been here in California, minus a day of rain. Hope it is just as beautiful elsewhere. What’s new this week, you ask? Well, not much. Hooper discovered he could hide the remotes in the sofa cushions and then fish them out. He did this over and over and over in typical toddler fashion // Aside from the scar on Sarah’s face, you’d have no idea anything happened to this dog. She is good as new and back at the dog park playing with all her dog friends. As for Willy and I, we’re still trying to sew that hole made in our pockets // Hooper played with his blocks and spent the morning rearranging them on his dresser. He’s very dedicated to organization // Hooper is finally big enough to ride the speedster I bought him when he was 6 months old and he LOVES it. It almost rivals his giraffe, but not quite // He also rediscovered grapes. He liked them initially, then went through a long period of throwing them on the ground, and now likes them again. Oh the adventures in feeding toddlers // A wonderful lunch date with a sexy man I call my husband and a hot dog overflowing with onions // A cute boy in a red sailboat romper // And a dapper looking young lad on Easter Sunday.
I hit up some of the local thrift stores the other day and came home with some amazing finds. I even found an atomic style desk for a bargain deal of $14.99, which isn’t pictured and instead is nestled in the garage with several other finds waiting to be placed. I’m telling you, we need a bigger home. I also ran into a patient I cared for in the hospital who recognized me instantly. It warmed my heart to see him doing so well. So yes, it was a very successful outing. Here are my finds:
When you have children, you’re totally biased to their beauty. You marvel at their every move because the fascination with their potential and ability never ceases to amaze. But when I say my best friend is the most beautiful friend on earth, I’m not biased. She really is incredibly stunning and her beauty lies in her ignorance to the fact.
I love photography. I feel so motivated and alive when behind the lens. Every now and again a friend of a friend will contact me for family photos or engagement photos and my first emotion is always apprehension. I’m not a professional by any means and have no ability to place a person in a pose or set up a perfect shot. I shoot what I see, when it happens, however it happens. And that’s all I know.
Enter my best friend Janet and every photo takes care of itself. I have no nerves. No apprehension. No fear. Because it’s impossible to take a bad picture of this girl. Yes, she is that beautiful. Here are some pics I snapped from her baby shower.
I had the privilege of spending part of Sunday with her as well and the whole weekend reminded me of how difficult it is to have my best friend in another state. There was a long period of our friendship when I moved away and lived in San Francisco, but it feels different now that we are both pregnant. I’m starting to grieve all the memories we will be missing out on. I’d love more than anything to be there when her baby is born, to support her in whatever capacity she needs whether it be pre-labor, during labor, or postpartum. But being that I’m due just days after her, it’s not possible. Slowly the realization creeps that birthing her child in Utah will strengthen the roots she has there. The realization that our kids will grow up without knowing one another saddens me. I think of the photos I’d take of our babies together, as newborns, and instantly feel like I’m missing out on something. I wasn’t sad about it until this weekend. This weekend gave me a mere glimpse of how much richer my life would be if my best friend were here.
