Without a doubt, Hooper’s difficulty with putting on weight as an infant had a major impact on me. It’s the culprit behind my obsession with what he eats now as a toddler. I should preface this post with clarifying that Hooper’s weight was never an issue for anyone besides myself. His pediatrician asked that he come back more frequently to be weighed, but he never declared it to be an “issue” and never suggested that I supplement with formula. Taking him back frequently to be weighed, however, made me neurotic. I’d make sure to feed him just before entering the office in an effort to get just a couple ounces higher on the scale. Once he started eating solids, I’d give him as big of a meal as I could before taking him to get weighed. Secretly, I’d even hope that he’d forgo his morning shit just to add the additional ounce or whatever. I know, I’m a total wack job. I grew obsessed, and well, it’s stuck. I spent much of his first year wondering if I was giving him enough, if I was producing enough, if he was healthy. Then, after I stopped breastfeeding at a year and I could monitor completely what was going in and how much, I realized he was fine. If he was hungry, he would eat more. If you are a regular reader of this blog you know my son is difficult to feed and picky, but he does eat. After a while, I chalked his weight issues up to the fact that both Willy and I are tall and thin and it therefore only made sense that our child would be the same.
And then Van was born.
And he’s a beefcake. Coupled with the fact I don’t see much of myself in his appearance, I’ve wondered once or twice if I brought the wrong baby home from the hospital. My midwife told me that milk comes in faster and is more plentiful with the second child, but I didn’t believe her with all my heart. I don’t know the reason behind the difference in weight, but I’m oh so thankful to tuck those anxieties away in a memory box.
The onesie in the photos above is the same. Hooper is 22 weeks and Van is 6. Van has already grown out of it as evidenced by the amount of cleavage he is showing and the downward pull. I felt bad after a while of having him in it and actually unbuttoned the snaps to provide more comfort. I took it off at the end of the day and tucked it away in a bag in his closet labeled, “for the next baby”. Are you guys as astonished as I am… We’re talking about a difference of SIXTEEN weeks here people :: scratches head ::
I cannot believe this!
But I still find it hard to think two people can have babies that don’t really act or look like the other. I cannot imagine having another baby that is not at all like Stanley. How is this possible!!
Glad he is good and well though and you perhaps have a chance to relax a little this time around with food…
S x
Your boys are so cute, you give me some hope my firstborn was small also and is still small and I had anxiety about his weight also the only difference was our Dr. was worried about and had me supplement with formula and that about sent me into a downward spiral as I thought I had failed him….but maybe the next child will be like the cutie Van with rolls!
Beefcake = hahahaha. Hooper better watch out.
arrgh I just want to give van a massive cuddle, he looks properly squishable…(uh oh here come’s my crazy broody mad women)
It’s crazy how different the two of them can be? and like sarah said its impossible to imagine creating another child with your same genes, but a completely different result! madness…
Love that little onesie! And I think their little faces totally look alike, give or take some “beef.”
Oh I feel you on this one. My oldest was a chunker and my younger one is a skinny mini. It stressed me out. Now that he’s not nursing, like you, all is well and he eats enough, and just doesn’t have the voracious appetite that my older one does. When he’s hungry he will holler and demand to be fed, but he just doesn’t eat the large quantities that I was so used to with my first. He’s my longer skinny baby and it’s not due to lack of nutrition, just his genetics. But it still stressed me out. Hearing 3rd percentile weight over and over was very hard to hear! And I was neurotic too that I bought a baby scale to make sure he was gaining enough.
Oh yes, I almost bought the baby scale too. It’s traumatic hearing your child be in such a low percentile. How did your pediatrician react? Did he/she ever push formula? I’m happy mine never made a big deal of it, but still walked the concerned route with me. Funny how two children can be so differnt.
Dr. never really pushed formula because my son had kept the same percentile early on and didn’t suddenly drop. The fact that he was steady was not a concern for them. Had he gone from 50th-3rd I think then they and I would’ve been worried about low supply and more importantly malnutrition. I was pumping a good amount (when I was at the office, at least 6oz per pump) so I knew my supply wasn’t an issue. My issue was just the fact that he wasn’t a big eater.
My oldest one was combo fed because of his NICU stay and my supply never caught up. I tried exclusively breastfeeding him and in a 14 day period he only gained 3 oz. 🙁 I have just recently let go of my guilt about that because I did try my best and he did have a scary start so I need to not feel so bad about it. He’s smart, super active, sweet and a perfectly normal almost 3 year old so at least I know my combo breastmilk/formula feeding him didn’t ruin him for life! 🙂
Glad to hear you have let go of your guilt. We try our best as moms, I truly believe that. Things don’t always go as planned, but you have to deal with the cards dealt to you. I can’t imagine having a baby in the NICU… how scary that must have been!