A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
When I became a mom for the first time, within a few months, it was almost impossible to remember what my life was like before I became a mother. Now I’m a mother to two and it’s difficult to remember, just a year and then some later, what it was like when Hooper was a baby. It’s difficult to remember how we spent our days together, difficult to remember the way he moved, difficult to remember the little details that were then our everyday life.
Mothering Van has provided me with a glimpse of who Hooper once was and I’m reminded all over again how fast they grow, change, and evolve. Every mom says it and every mom means it, but it’s absolutely ridiculous how fast the time goes.
I was going through some old photos of Hooper and came across the one above of him playing with my old fisher price spin toy. He was 21 weeks in the photo, right aroundd the age Van is today. It gave me a bad case of deja vu as just the other day Van took interest in the same toy. It’s the first toy I remember Hooper playing with and now the first toy that has captured Van’s attention as well.
I remember reading an article in adbusters encouraging everyone to “kill your tv”. It pictured two children, around the age of 10, on a sofa. You couldn’t see the TV in front of them and the photo was taken as if the camera were right in front of the TV. The children’s eyes are dazed, mouths open, faces expressionless. Before reading the article, the picture begged the question what’s wrong with these children? They were zonked. TV coma.
I’ve never liked TV. My mom always said I had so much energy as a child that it would never hold my attention long enough anyway. I’ve never caught on to sitcoms. Admittedly I fall into the American Idol and Xfactor trap, but I contribute that to my love of music.
We started using shows like Yo Gabba Gabba to assist during mealtime. The show went on, his mouth opened, he chewed his food, and everything at the table was relatively peaceful. Then he’d be done with his meal, the TV would go off and next thing we knew Hoop would be at our feet with both remotes in hand nagging for us to put the show back on. And by nagging I mean full on tantruming. There’s only so many ways to reason with a two year old. And by only so many ways what I really mean is that there is NO way to reason with a two year old.
So we started hiding the remotes.
At first, he’d ask to watch Yo Gabba Gabba and I’d tell him to go find the remotes, knowing of course, that they were hidden. He’d get distracted during his hunt and move on to playing with his toys.
That worked for a little while.
Then he started rooting around in our bedroom and would come back out to the family room with the remote from our bedroom in his hands. And that tantrum would happen all over again. So for the past few days, I’ve been hiding both remotes. And it’s been wonderful. In fact, I think he’s forgotten all about the TV.
We also deleted all the Yo Gabba Gabbas from our DVR. I know, risky move. But we really didn’t want a back up plan available. Watching that shit was killing my brain cells and I can’t stand the vacant stare that comes over his face when the TV is on.
So lately we’ve been reading books during mealtime. And it’s been heavenly.
Peek-a-boo. Wonder where I’ve been with my Mama Style shenanigans? Truth be told, I don’t do cold weather. I’m a California girl. It has been chilly chilly cold here the last few weeks. And by cold I’m talking in the 50’s. Okay, cue collective eye roll from all ya’ll living in areas of snow and sleet. It’s been cold, by California standards anyway. The sun came out over the weekend and so long as you were standing in the sun, it was fairly pleasant. We went out for a family breakfast and attended a BBQ at a friends later in the evening. Any weekend involving pancakes, sunshine, friends, and the smell of BBQ ain’t too shabby. I won’t even mention my yearly pedicure yesterday with my dear friend Marin; that would be too much.
I had convinced myself my postpartum hair loss was nearing an end, but alas, it keeps on falling. The feeling reminds me of rough housing when you’re a kid… You know, when your sister sits on your face and you’re halfway between a giggle and a complete meltdown because you can’t breathe properly. The hair loss was funny to write about at first but now I just feel like cutting back on the mama style posts because placing myself on the other side of the lens feels uncomfortable. Wah wah. Ho hum. Watch me cry a f’n river, would ya?
In other news, have you seen this video by the Lumineers? There’s something about watching music being made that is oh so magical. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall of that old bus with my camera slung over my shoulder, or wing cuz you know, I’m a fly.
Documenting my children has been very easy for me. It’s been very natural and has yet to feel forced. I was inspired when I saw this photo project, which I was lead to from this blog. Being that I already photograph my children on a weekly, if not daily basis, I’m opting to participate in a similar photo project featuring none other than mi amor, my husband, my best friend.
I spend a lot of time on this blog writing about my children and documenting my love for them. But none of that would be there without the foundation Willy and I have built through our own love. So I’m dedicating this yearly project to Willy. A photo a week of the man I love.
Love the one you’re with. Check. Love the state in which you reside. Check. A lot of these items are available for different states and countries, so check them out if you reside elsewhere.
Growth & Appearence: The Elmer Fud really comes out when you make a frowny face. It’s not that appealing, so make sure you smile often as an adult. You fit comfortably into size 3 diapers, have graduated to 6-9 month clothing, and have yet to wear a pair of shoes. The cradle cap on your scalp has not gone away, so I’ve begun treating it with some olive oil. You look very similar to your brother.
Eating: I have yet to start you on rice cereal, but I think it’s time. You’ve shown interest in food and like to pull my spoon from my mouth to yours. You got a hold of Hooper’s bottle the other day and your eyes grew all googly. I have a sneaking suspicion you will not share in your brother’s poor eating habits. That might turn you into my favorite. You hear that Hooper? Mama has a favorite. Shape up at the table and join the competition you little picky eater you.
You breastfeed often. Sometimes it feels like less than two hours have gone by before you’re ready to eat again. It’s obvious when you’re going through a growth spurt, which last about two days and seem to be coming every few weeks. On average, I feed you 8-10x a day, which feels like a lot. Our schedule is in a state of transition as you are starting to sleep later into the morning. I wish I could enjoy this, but your milk-supply-neurotic-mom is still getting up in the wee hours of the morning to pump to avoid such a long span of time going by without emptying the utters.
You eat efficiently, taking about 20 minutes per session with the exception of our nighttime session where you drift off to sleep between breasts and a midday session where you think napping with my nipple in your mouth is cooler than napping in your crib.
Development: If only your body could keep up with your brain. You have so many plans, so many things you want to touch, so many places you want to go. Your poor little body just isn’t up to par quite yet. You remind me of one of those machines kids try to win stuffed animals at. You come swooping in but everything seems to fall just out of your grasp. You’re like a baseball player on one of those bloopers, constantly fumbling the ball. There is a fire in your eye and a strength in your grasp that has me wondering how I’m going to handle you when you do start moving.
You know now who your mama is. You know when I walk into a room and, more importantly, when I leave. The other morning, I walked into your room to feed you and realized I had to pee. You watched as I walked in and then quickly out and began to scream for your dear life. You either love me or need me, or maybe it’s a little of both.
Sitting is right around the corner. You manage to stay upright for a short amount of time but eventually tip over like a drunken sailor on a rocky boat.
You reach for anything around you and bring everything to your mouth. We’re on the brink of being able to lay you down on a blanket with some toys for the sake of entertainment. You love watching your brother and take obvious mental notes as he moves from toy to toy.
Sleeping: I’d have to sneak a peak in your brother’s baby book to remember when he started napping. Us moms gotta love nap time. It’s key to feeling accomplished and productive. It’s when the dishes get done, the body gets cleaned, emails get returned, photos get edited, dogs get fed, you get the idea. So start taking naps, would ya? I’m lucky if you shut your eyes for an hour during the day. I feel silly complaining because I’d rather you sleep well at night, which you do, than take naps during the day. You just can’t have it all, can you? Let that be a lesson to you.
With that said, you get an average of 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. Just in this past week you have begun sleeping a little bit more but I have yet to define you as a consistent nap taker. Fingers are crossed nonetheless.
We still swaddle you at night. I think we gave up on swaddling Hooper at this point, but we were using a blanket with him and are using a sleep sac thing with velcro with you. It’s much easier so as long as you’re happy being swaddled, we’ll keep strappin’ you in. We call you our little Temple Grandin because of the hug machine (please tell me ya’ll have seen Temple Grandin).
Favorites: You’re quite keen on your environment. You love watching Hooper and have also taken notice of Sarah. You prefer to be in the center of the action so you can watch as everyone moves about. You also like putting everything and anything into your mouth. This includes clothing, toys, remote controls, my hair, and even plastic bags (which, clearly, I take away because suffocation is not cool nor is choking). You love holding and sucking on any of Hooper’s cars and you’ve also just begun to like sitting in the bouncer that hangs from the doorway. You also like being carried in the front carrier. I keep you in there during Hooper’s gym class and you almost always drift off to sleep halfway through.
I wrote some resolutions last year around this time. I had just started this blog and they were kinda silly and arguably cliche. Upon reading them, I thought, yeah yeah, I resolve to do that again this year. Turns out things like “eat better” require a complete lifestyle change. And well, making ten lifestyle changes is a hard thing to do. Since becoming a mom, I’ve realized the importance in setting small goals. If you don’t, you’ll spend every day beating yourself up for being such a loser.
So I’m keeping the resolutions to a minimum this year.
Last year, I resolved to work out. Do some yoga. That sorta thing. I did prenatal yoga throughout my pregnancy with Hooper. I did none with Van. Time wouldn’t allow. So, this resolution was a total flunk. I’m recycling this resolution again this year but am altering it. I have something planned later in the year that I’m not ready to talk about but it requires that I strengthen my abdominal and leg muscles. Considering my abdominal muscles are still separated from carrying my second over nine pound baby, this is no easy feat. Wish me luck.
I almost burst into a full blown giggle when I read that I resolved to buy a bigger home last year. Granted, we did look. We even put an offer down for one home and it didn’t work out. Ultimately we decided it would be more financially responsible to stay where we are. So I’m resolving to love the home I’m in. There are a few things I’m excited to change in the interior, so there’s that to look forward to. Which reminds me of the kitchen remodel tour I promised way back when and room tours of the boys’ rooms. Yes, yes, yes, I resolve to share those too.
I kept my resolution last year to continue blogging and I’m glad I did. The blogging community continuously inspires me. Building this blog has helped me grow too and part of me feels overcome with the same creative spirit that carried my wandering soul in my early 20’s. Errr ::scratches head:: That comment makes me feel kinda old. Scratch that early 20’s shit and lets leave it at I love the creative energy this blog brings me on a personal level.
Hope everyone had a fancy dance New Years. Feel free to share your resolutions as well, I’d love to hear.
When I started Hooper’s baby book, in the first month of documentation, I made a list. I’m not type A, by the way, but I do love me some lists. The first list I started was “Things I can’t wait for”. The list included things like reading him his favorite book, hearing his voice, giving him food for the first time (turns out, if I could go back in time, I would have taken that off the list. Total flunk. Totally overrated. Feeding him sucks and now I “can’t wait” until he’s responsible for feeding himself. I digress). In making the list, I realized that what I was doing was dangerous. The moment they are in right now gets overlooked if you’re constantly looking toward the future. So my intention was to get a quick “can’t wait” list out of the way so I could get back to soaking up all the spit up that was indeed my reality at the time. And is now my reality once again.
With two boys, the list of “can’t waits” has transformed to include things that involve both of them. Things on the list today include:
-Building forts
-Overhearing their silly conversations
-Going to a baseball game
-Hearing them bicker and then hearing them stop bickering
-Meeting their mutual friends
-Taking them fishing
-Selling something on the side of the road (hopefully not their bodies or souls. I’m talking about lemonade people, or firewood, or painted rocks)
-Should I dare to hope for a performance of some kind? A brotherly puppet show production, per say? Yes, yes, I can’t wait for that too.
Funny things have been happening around these parts. Someone has become quite the Mister Casanova, swooping in on the little ladies and planting kisses on their sweet soft cheeks. Who is this boy? I mean check out his eyes… they’re closed. He ain’t messin’ around. Need a kiss? Come on over; someone in this house is eager to plant a little sumptim sumptim on your face. Dear Hooper, kiss em’ while you can… You only live once.
I could eat him. I really could. Kisses so sweet they’ll steal your soul, I swear. And with that, I wish ya’ll a Happy New Year.
