The thing about schedules is that they’re annoying. I grew up considering myself a type B personality but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned, especially through motherhood, that it pays to have some type A organization. To a degree, at least. All in all, I hate living a day that is a blueprint of the day before. I get that kids benefit from structure and yadda yadda yadda, but I also believe that kids are adaptable and should learn to go with the flow because life isn’t always organized. In actuality, life is rarely organized. Structure bores me.
I spend much of my morning looking at the clock wondering when my break will come and checking my fuel level to be sure I still have enough patience left to get me to that break time safely. Then both kids are asleep (on good days their naps overlap. On bad days, I play whack a mole all day long) and I feel almost paralyzed by not knowing what to do first (dishes, shower, eat, clean, blog, etc). I scatter about and in what feels time no time at all, nap time is over and I have to breastfeed and prepare lunch and by the time all that is done, Willy’s home and it’s time for Van’s second nap, and then there is more breastfeeding and meal preparing and then, just like that, it’s time for bed.
I go to bed with intentions of spending the next day at the park or at the beach or with other mommy friends but, more times than not, we fall back into the aforementioned pattern. Some days it is so hard to break the routine, so hard to actually get out of the house.
Don’t get me wrong, we do get out. We go to the park or the beach or what-have-you, but it comes with a sacrifice of naps and skipped feedings and there’s consequences, of course, that come with those things. It feels like I can’t win.
Do you feel the same way? How do you handle structure in your home?
Side note: Congrats to Jenn for winning the gift
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I seriously could have written this post myself! I work 50 hours a week, if not more, and with a newly-turned 5 year old in the house and an almost 7 month old, I almost look forward to work rather than days off. I know that on my days off, I will HAVE to be up at 7 (just over an hour “more” sleep), feed the baby, get the toddler up, fed, and dressed, battle her to let me brush her hair, pack the kids in the car, drop the toddler off at school (daycare), come home … etc etc …
I enjoy the structure, but sometimes I find myself going crazy trapped in the house because I don’t want to ruin the wonderful schedule the baby has adapted to (she’s a GREAT sleeper like Hooper). When my mom is in tow (she retired and is my nanny, so she’s usually available) I’ll go on adventures for the day because I know that there’s an extra set of hands — but sometimes sacrificing the nap and getting a super cranky baby by the end of the day just isn’t worth it.
love this post. its great to hear the hard/true times on your blog. i love how honest you are.
also, is it horrible that i feel the way you do and i only have one? (my one is an absolutely crazy one though) i am scared to have another for all of the thing mentioned above. its worth it right? right…? 😉
Not crazy at all. I think it’s fair to feel this way whether you have one or ten… or none and a dog… And yes, I think having two is worth it. Even with all my honesty, I honestly wish I could afford to have five. Being a mother has apparently made me a schizo.
I’m a weirdo Type A mix of creativity and spontaneity and structure and routine. While the thought of a day-in, day-out routine {i.e. boredom} can suck the life right out of you, I made the decision early on to take one for the team and bite the bullet.
The way I sold it to myself is this: they’re only little once. Don’t screw it up. If they like the routine and it works, stick with it. And really, having two nightmare infants is what drove me to do it. I was too scared to leave the house at a moment that might throw things off.
But now with kids nearly 6 and 3.5, I’m no longer prisoner to the structure, THANK GOD!, but I also thank God for kids that go to bed at 8:00, sleep ’til 8:00 and nap in between.
I’ll take that yin to my yang any day!
best of luck to you!
I am a middle of the road person with this. I have always made sure to be home for afternoon nap time for my kids. Neither of my kids takes two naps anymore anyway, but when they did, they would just sleep on the go in the morning. Because of this, all park fun and play dates happen in the morning. The other thing I am a stickler about is bed time. I don’t like being out past bed time because it stretches everyone thin and never goes well. Other than that, I have never been one to wake my kids to keep them on schedule or any of that sort of thing.
With only one to organise it is easier, Jarvis sleeping in the mornings for two hours and in the afternoon for two. So the middle of the day I/we get to escape and do the unstructured. If he doesn’t get his two naps, I may as well just head butt the wall as I know I will be wearing him in the sling all day.
Agreed! Finally, someone is saying the same things I’m thinking. I do tend to be more of a type A person. But, I’m trying to be more in between for my son’s sake. Life just isn’t that organized, as you said. He is 18 months. Just started going to our community pool 2 days ago because I was afraid of messing up his nap schedule. My very valued “me” time. What made me change my mind? Met another mom at the park we go to most days, who was going to the pool, & she encouraged me to come over. Best decision. Packed a lunch. He told me when he was hungry & when he was ready to go home. Went again today. It’s been great for us both. Working on my OCD tendencies 😉