Hooper tells Van to put his finger in the fan. He’ll do almost anything Hooper tells him to do. He’s touched several cacti around the house, per Hooper’s request.

Dance parties. They involve both boys hopping around on one foot and pumping one arm up in the air like a monkey.

They get upset about imaginary things that don’t even really happen, like when Hooper pretends to poor water out of an empty tube and Van comes crying to me about Hooper dumping water on him. Or when they’re strapped into their car seats and Hooper says, “Van, I’m going to hit you” even though he can’t even reach him and Van cries and tells on Hooper for hitting him.

They get asked often if they’re twins. It’s hard for me to see; they’re so different developmentally.

They spend the majority of their time at home in the garage, where they ride their bikes in small circles or build forts or play with dead cockroaches.

The other morning I heard Hoop say, “Van, your hair is so awkward”.

Both ask to see their poo. If I’m changing Van’s diaper, Hooper wants to see it. If Hooper takes a dump in the toilet, Van wants to see it. And Hooper wants to tell everyone all about his dumps.

Along the same lines, Hooper prefers that Van take him to the bathroom. Willy and I are always asked to wait outside, but he’ll pull Van by the hand and ask him to take him potty. I can hear them whispering to one another about really random things through the door.

They’re both eating a lot of raspberries because they like putting them on their fingers and eating them off. They giggle at one another the whole time.

Van is only bothered by a toy being taken from him half of the time. Unfortunately, this happens 1,000 times a day which means I’m guaranteed to referee at least 500 fights.