A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
It’s only normal for mothers to worry. Given the fact Willy suffers from such horrible health anxiety, I find myself often in the it-will-be-okay or it’s-no-big-deal role. So the other night, when Van could hardly talk and was breathing heavily, I assured him it was the same cold Hooper had and not to worry. I went to bed that night, unable to sleep, questioning if I even believed myself. I do this play-it-off-like-it’s-no-big-deal-in-front-of-Willy routine often, especially when it comes to the kids. But when Van woke up crying at 2am with audible wheezing, I agreed that we should probably take him in. Nursing 101 – Don’t mess with the airway. Van and I spent four hours in the ER getting numerous breathing treatments and a steroid injection. We left around 5:30am with a probable diagnosis of croup and instructions to keep an eye on him, especially overnight (when croup worsens).
So for the next three nights, Van slept in our room; a welcomed change. My not-so-little boy surrendering into my arms, accepting all my cuddles and comfort.
Happy to say it is now behind us.
Do you worry excessively about your kids? How about your significant others — same same, or different?
13 Responses
We both tend to be worriers, but in different ways. My husband does have anxiety issues, but not really when it comes to the kids – and that is generally what worries me the most. I keep a close eye on them when they’re sick and rarely sleep when they are not feeling well. I think not a day goes by that I don’t worry about them in one aspect or another.
Ugghh….I’m pretty sure Kenso has croup right now. He woke up last night several times with that “barking” cough sound and his breathing sounds like that of a lifetime smoker. He just got over a raging case of hand foot mouth too. I feel your pain. Im glad Van is better.
Alia,
It’s 4:00am and my child is up now with something like that croup cough. She also just got over hand foot and mouth. Three of my four kids just got over hand foot and mouth actually.. It sucks bad. I came back to read this post and comments due to my health snxiety, which does get worse at 4:00am when I’m sleep deprived! Hope you little one is all better now!
This is one of my greatest fears of having a kid–the paralysis of worry… I’m glad Van is doing better. Poor lil’ guy.
PS I love that he still wears his bracelet.
i’m not a worrier by nature, although the first three weeks he was alive i had a constant knot in my stomach about…i dunno keeping him alive i guess. It’s been smooth sailin’ since then, but i know the first time something bad happens i’ll probably be a wreck.
Hi Ashley,
I just found you by following blooms IG feed and Summer shared one of your photos. Then I came across this blog. I needed this tonight. I was literally talking with a friend about my anxiety over my sons sickness right now. I am so brave In front of my 5 year old boy but on the inside I am a big ball of nerves. I spent 5 hours in the ER last night with him with breathing treatments and a diagnosis of hand foot and mouth. My son has just recently been diagnosed with asthma and when he gets sick his lungs are the first thing that flare up. It literally breaks my heart seeing him so sick sometimes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears too.
I have WICKED health worry about my girl. It doesn’t help that she has a heart defect. But seriously, she has what looks like a pimple on her butt right now and every time I see it I get anxious. It’s ridiculous. Funny though I really don’t worry about her heart that much. Maybe because I’ve researched it until my brain hurt so I uderstand it. Kids definitely amp up the worry factor like nobody’s business.
It’s only normal for mothers to worry. Given the fact Willy suffers from such horrible health anxiety, I find myself often in the it-will-be-okay or it’s-no-big-deal role. So the other night, when Van could hardly talk and was breathing heavily, I assured him it was the same cold Hooper had and not to worry. I went to bed that night, unable to sleep, questioning if I even believed myself. I do this play-it-off-like-it’s-no-big-deal-in-front-of-Willy routine often, especially when it comes to the kids. But when Van woke up crying at 2am with audible wheezing, I agreed that we should probably take him in. Nursing 101 – Don’t mess with the airway. Van and I spent four hours in the ER getting numerous breathing treatments and a steroid injection. We left around 5:30am with a probable diagnosis of croup and instructions to keep an eye on him, especially overnight (when croup worsens). 
We both tend to be worriers, but in different ways. My husband does have anxiety issues, but not really when it comes to the kids – and that is generally what worries me the most. I keep a close eye on them when they’re sick and rarely sleep when they are not feeling well. I think not a day goes by that I don’t worry about them in one aspect or another.
Same here. Not a day that goes by. But I try my best not to let it affect my parenting style… it’s hard to find a balance.
Ugghh….I’m pretty sure Kenso has croup right now. He woke up last night several times with that “barking” cough sound and his breathing sounds like that of a lifetime smoker. He just got over a raging case of hand foot mouth too. I feel your pain. Im glad Van is better.
Oh mama, that sucks… sorry to hear. ‘Tis the season. Hope he’s better soon.
Alia,
It’s 4:00am and my child is up now with something like that croup cough. She also just got over hand foot and mouth. Three of my four kids just got over hand foot and mouth actually.. It sucks bad. I came back to read this post and comments due to my health snxiety, which does get worse at 4:00am when I’m sleep deprived! Hope you little one is all better now!
This is one of my greatest fears of having a kid–the paralysis of worry… I’m glad Van is doing better. Poor lil’ guy.
PS I love that he still wears his bracelet.
Think how dirty that little bracelet is…
i’m not a worrier by nature, although the first three weeks he was alive i had a constant knot in my stomach about…i dunno keeping him alive i guess. It’s been smooth sailin’ since then, but i know the first time something bad happens i’ll probably be a wreck.
PS glad he’s ok!!!
Hi Ashley,
I just found you by following blooms IG feed and Summer shared one of your photos. Then I came across this blog. I needed this tonight. I was literally talking with a friend about my anxiety over my sons sickness right now. I am so brave In front of my 5 year old boy but on the inside I am a big ball of nerves. I spent 5 hours in the ER last night with him with breathing treatments and a diagnosis of hand foot and mouth. My son has just recently been diagnosed with asthma and when he gets sick his lungs are the first thing that flare up. It literally breaks my heart seeing him so sick sometimes. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears too.
It’s hard to be strong sometimes. Your little guy is lucky he has you.
I have WICKED health worry about my girl. It doesn’t help that she has a heart defect. But seriously, she has what looks like a pimple on her butt right now and every time I see it I get anxious. It’s ridiculous. Funny though I really don’t worry about her heart that much. Maybe because I’ve researched it until my brain hurt so I uderstand it. Kids definitely amp up the worry factor like nobody’s business.
So true. And haha to the pimple on her butt…