A portrait of my family once a month in 2016

Willy: Proclaimed that kids are put on this Earth to make us age faster, die quicker, and use less resources. Also proclaims to be MVP of the bachelor party he just got back from.

Hooper: Told me he was bored for the first time ever. So that cat is out of that bag. Also says he wants 150 babies but will settle for just one more. I feel the same way.

Van: Decided to pee in Jimmie’s water bowl and then came and told me about it. Also told me he wasn’t going to marry me after I told him he had to throw his trash away before having his show turned back on (for the record, the marriage was over as soon as he peed in the dog bowl).

Sonny: Found his feet.

Me: Agreed to wanting to poop like a deer (however that is) and stepping in it to make my 5-year-old think I’m cool and then had an existential crisis. Momentarily, anyway.

Jimmie: Picked up kennel cough from doggy daycare. There were nights filled with hacking. Just when you thought having a new-ish-born at night was tough…