Hindsight always holds the truth. That’s why if I could rewind to where I was two months ago with the knowledge and experience I have today, just two months later, I would have advised myself of the following:

-Of course this feels impossible, what’s being asked of you is not possible. You can’t do it all, you already know that, so stick to what you can do, when you can do it, and do it well. One step, then the other.

-In regards to your healing and your personal work: it’s hard, sure, but it’s harder if you don’t. No one is saying you have spare time to fit this stuff in but it sure makes things on your plate easier to handle when you make the conscious effort to fit it in. You’re worth it.

-There’s chaos around you and it comes in all forms. You don’t need to deny its existence but you also don’t need to open the door when it comes knocking. You control the door, close it when you need to.

-What feels overwhelming and awkward today will feel doable and comfortable in the coming days. It’s a learning curve; remember that you don’t have to project yesterday’s shortcomings onto tomorrow’s possibilities. It doesn’t get easier but you do get better.

-Quick list of pros: getting to spend all this time with my boys has really made me realize how much I enjoy them; they’re my kids first, but they’re also my friends and a part of me is sure to miss this time with them when normal life resumes. Not having to get up and stress about getting everyone dressed and fed and out the door in what feels like lightening speed is nice. Cuddling in the bed in the morning is better than any other way I can imagine to start a day. Finding creative ways to spend our time. Exercising together. Mid-day, mid-week trips to the beach. And photographing this time, on my real camera, feels good. In general, changing the “I have to” to “I get to” has done a world of change to my perspective.