Registry, Part II

I made my personal recommendations for those expecting their first baby here. Here’s what I’ve compiled on the “must have” list for the second baby. If I’m missing something, by all means, throw a bone my way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Twin bed + mattress + bedding. This is so that baby number two can have baby number one’s crib. I contemplated getting a second crib and keeping Hooper in a crib longer, but ultimately decided it would be better to save the cost of a second crib and invest in a big boy bed that will suit him for the coming years. I realize I will also need the guard rails, which I have just begun researching. The to-do list lengthens. I have lots of bedding ideas too, so many that I plan to compile them into a separate post. We have a lovely vintage twin bed waiting to be handed down to us, except that it’s in Arizona and getting it in time is posing a problem. So, I will be scouring the local thrift stores to keep my eyes out for something just as lovely.
2. Baby Book. Yes, I am a documenting freak. I have a very thorough book that consists of  month to month tales from Hooper’s first year. I also have a photo from each week of his life, from birth to one year. I can’t wrap my head around completing it for Hooper and not doing the same for the next baby, so in addition to having this blog and all the stories it holds, I will be double documenting. I already purchased the book from Etsy seller Two Giggles. The seller is very easy to work with and I love that the books are three ring binders. I added lots of extra pages to Hooper’s and plan to do the same this time around.
3. Changing Tray. I contemplated this one for a while too and am of course open for any suggestions people may have. I was debating changing both kids diapers in one place, but then think it would be annoying if one is sleeping and the other one has a shitty diaper and … well you get the idea. I’m not sure where I’d put the changing tray in Hooper’s new room since he’ll no longer have a crib to lay it across. I figure it could go on his dresser, but I’m not so excited to sacrifice decoration for a changing table… but what’s the point of doing a room up if it’s not functional, right? Anyway, I figure time will hold the answers to this mystery.
4. Diaper Pail. You may remember my diaper-pail-gone-bad story from my first registry. In any case, we’ll use the Diaper Dekor Plus Pail for the new baby just as we did for Hooper. It kept the smell well contained for about the first year, at-which-point we transitioned to the Arm & Hammer Munchkin Pail which contains the smell a hell of a lot better.
5. Breast Pump Accessories. I currently have the Medela Soft Fit Breastshields and have no complaints other than the fact that after a lot of use they are a bit worn and in need of replacement. I also need some more milk storage bags. Goodness, even writing about breast pump accessories makes me dread the pumping days that are just around the corner.
6. Car Seat. I’m almost embarrassed to say that Hooper was still in his infant car seat until just a short while ago. He still meets the weight limit, but has outgrown the seat in length. So in order to hand the infant car seats down to the new baby, we needed the big boy car seat for Hooper. We bought the Graco MyRide 65 and are contemplating buying a second seat for the second car. We were fortunate enough to have one infant car seat handed down to us and the second we bought nearly new on craigslist. Since Hooper will be in this car seat for years to come, I’m more hesitant to buy used. But their pricey. So for now we have one. When it becomes a problem and when money starts growing on trees, we’ll think of purchasing a second.
7. Double Stroller. My dream is to own the Bugaboo Donkey because we’ve been so stoked on our Bugaboo Frog that we purchased for a fraction of the price used. Unfortunately, Bugaboo just put out their double stroller so there are no used ones available and the new ones are ridiculously expensive. I haven’t looked at other strollers yet and am putting this one on the back burner until it proves to be a necessity.
8. Baby Monitor. I refuse to take the monitor out of Hooper’s room. Until he is big enough to climb out of bed, open his door, and come into our room for help I just can’t wrap my head around removing it. I’ve talked to parents who say they still use the monitor in their 15 year old’s rooms… for different reasons, of course. But in any case, it made me feel more secure with myself for keeping a monitor in my toddler’s room. We currently have the Sony Baby Call Monitor and plan on purchasing the same for the second baby. We ditched the Angelcare monitor after it started making this awful ticking noise. That monitor can kiss my arse.
9. White Noise Maker. We currently have this white noise maker and have no complaints. It has different settings and is found in every room where there is a bed in our house. Thus, we will need one more. It’s Willy’s preference, really. I could do without the sound of a space shuttle launch each night but it is nice in the kid’s rooms to block out the sound of vacuuming, dish washing, or music playing during nap time.
Did I miss anything? Would love to hear from mom’s of two or more…

Aloha

We leave today for Hawaii. The last time we were there, Hooper was 11 months old and the memory of our time there is synonymous with a personality explosion. It’s the beginning point of when I can say the real fun began. I look at these pictures of Hooper and I and can’t help but envision both of my boys in this photo. Baby #2 may not have a presence in these photos and the pregnancy test was definitely not even positive at this point in time, but I know for certain those cells were dividing and doing many miraculous things behind the scene. Oh life, you are such a beautiful thing.
I won’t be able to post any pics from Hawaii until we return, but you can follow me on Instagram by clicking here or on the link on the right hand side of the blog. I’ll be instagraming it up the whole time!

27 Weeks

Remember when I told you about my post pregnancy prize pack and I talked about the neglected half of my closet versus the gonna try and make it work with pregnancy half? Well the two sides have started to converge into one big neglected closet. My choices are getting slimmer and slimmer. The dress you see above, for example, had been stuffed in a corner of my closet and did not belong to either of the designated sides. Instead, it was a dress I had thrifted a while back and planned on making work. I had my mom add a liner to it because before it was entirely see-through. The straps still need to be taken in a couple of inches and for this reason, it remains stuffed in a corner of my tiny little closet. But with my choices getting slimmer, I was desperate today. I pulled it down, through it on and did a little twirl for Willy. I broke the only full length mirror the other day when vacuuming (damn you vacuuming!) and have no way to even assess these pregnancy ensembles I’m throwing on. I know, dangerous. Let the seven years of bad luck begin with some shitty put together pregnancy ensembles. Anyway, I macgyvered some bobby pins for a quick fix with the straps and voila. Pregnancy week 27 complete. Hip hip hooray. No promises from here on out. I may just photograph myself in Willy’s t-shirts and sweats.
Concerns this week revolve around me being home more. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great. It’s what my back, more than anything, really needs. And spending all my time with Hooper is priceless. It’s time you don’t get back, you know? But I worry that spending so much time with him right before my time with him will be so drastically diminished, is dangerous. I’ve enrolled him in a class, that of course I participate in, to increase his sociability. I also try to leave him with my parents here and there because they love spending time with him. They watched him the other day and I was able to go to a local frame store, Best Buy, the Post Office, the Salvation Army, Costco, and the grocery store. Then I came home and cleaned out the fridge. Sure, my back paid the price, but the price would have been a lot steeper if I were to tote a wee little toddler around on all those errands. In any case, I’m hoping Hooper won’t take out any of his resentment toward the baby. My sister and I always laugh over stories we hear of her throwing bananas at me and referring to me as “the Beast”, but I’m sure at the time it wasn’t funny. I’m sure at the time it was a major concern. Not sure how to make the transition a smooth one, but I’m all ears for any advice for those of you who have been in the same situation.
In other pregnancy related news, the baby has had hiccups this week. It’s only happened once, but I recognized that rhythmic thumping instantly. Time also seems to be picking back up. With the next few weeks jammed back with in-laws having just left and then a vacation (what’d you say!?) planned for this week, the third trimester will be here before I know it. Oh dear time, keep up the pace.

The Baby Name Game

We had a girl name agreed upon. Truth be told, we even referred to my belly by this time from time to time as a sort of trial. You know, to see how it sounds when you actually use it in a sentence or refer to it as an actual being. And we loved it. We had a nickname ready as well that we equally loved, and that’s rare. There are a billion names I like, but when I look at the second name that goes with them… well, they take themselves off my “maybe” list. I love Charlie, for example, but could never live with Chuck. We’re so stuck on a boy’s name.

 

Hooper’s name was decided long before he was conceived. Before we were even got married, I had made the suggestion. It’s a family name and one I did not want to lose. Even if Hooper were a girl, we toyed with keeping the name anyway.
And I just can’t come up with something comparable. It seems unfair to give a name with such meaning and character to our first and not be able to give the same to our second. I can practically hear the clock ticking on this pregnancy and with each passing week I grow a little more fearful of the fact we have yet to settle on a name. 

 

I was destined to be a mom. I have a list of potential baby names stored away in an old journal to prove my commitment to one day mothering a child. I look at those names now and think, what the heck was I thinking? On the girls’ list, juxtaposed next to the boys’ list, there are double the amount of options and several that I’m still fond of. So… we’ve become hard core players in the baby name game. Stay tuned… this little bee will have to be named at some point and I promise it will not be Bob, Jim, or Ted…

26 Weeks

 

I’m officially on leave from work, which came more abruptly than planned. I’ve been having so much low back pain that the back-up OB and myself decided taking off now would be safest. I planned on feeling that rush of excitement similar to the feeling when you walk out of school on the last day before summer break, but I don’t feel that way at all. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing.
In other 26 week news, I’ve been having some braxton hicks. They actually started a while ago and if I remember correctly I think I suspected the first one as early as 13 weeks. There is no denying them now and it’s comforting to know my uterine muscles are getting their workout on before the big day. I’m trying to keep hydrated in an effort to keep em’ spread out and so far it’s worked, as they come only every now and again. I can also palpate little parts. I feel what seems to be miniature elbows or knees and can clearly feel when his back is pushed up against my abdominal wall. The kicks are getting stronger so I know all that protein I’ve been consuming is doing it’s job. I’m sleeping somewhat better. If it weren’t for the back pain, I’d sleep like a baby. Luckily, Hooper is such a good sleeper that he gives me a good 11 hours to get whatever kind of shut eye I can in and with the exception of a rare day here and there I feel quite well rested.
As a complete side note, how does the house get dirty so fast? I swear it’s been my goal to keep this place clean now that I’m not working, but I’m learning it’s an everyday job and things pile up faster than they can be put away. I’m sure ya’ll feel me on that one. In any case, I have some spring cleaning to catch up on.

My Best Friend’s Shower

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I first arrived at college eons ago, I was a wild lost soul. A wild lost soul in all the best kinda ways. A wild lost soul hungry for answers to all life’s hard questions, hungry for adventure and exploration and pushing of boundaries, hungry to learn about myself and this crazy world I lived in. My heart was an open book and my soul had that “let’s go!” kinda energy. Janet was there for it all and she had the same kind of energy. 
I nearly drowned in my tears last summer at her wedding rehearsal dinner as I gave a speech detailing my love for and admiration of her. It was last October that she called me with “exciting news” and I shared the same “exciting news” with her too. In fact, it was news that resulted in the birth of this blog. You can reminisce with me by checking out our first ever post here
Today is her baby shower and I couldn’t be more thrilled. The two of us have rode camels in Egypt and elephants in Thailand, we’ve camped in Mexico, took a 24 hour bus ride together in India, drove all the way to Louisiana and back again, been sky diving together, gone on double dates together, shared bunk beds in college, and it almost seems in line with fate that our due dates would be within days of each other. She is bound to be the most beautiful mom around.
Here’s a few things I collected for part of her gift, though they’ll be many more along the way.

25 Weeks

I’ve mentioned it many times here on the blog, but I’ve wanted to be a mom since the days I started sporting pig tails. I mean people would talk about growing up to be dentists and doctors and veterinarians and truthfully, the only thing that ever seemed like the perfect fit for me was to be a mom. Even as a full time nurse, I consider myself first a mom then a nurse. I used to marvel at pregnant woman. I’d smile at them and think to myself how beautiful they were. It’s like they say, I’d see a glowing ring around pregnant woman. Part envy, part awe. They embodied everything I wanted out of life. Pregnant woman were like walking miracles to me. 
And here I am, pregnant once again and I don’t feel that way at all. I always assumed I’d feel the way other pregnant woman looked: graceful, strong, and angelic. Instead, my back hurts. And that’s all I can think about. Maybe this is why not every pregnant woman would smile back at me. Maybe their backs hurt too.

24 Weeks

Time seemed to be buzzing by, it seemed like I only knew what week of pregnancy I was in because I was blogging about it. Now time has slowed and July feels like forever away. I’m tired. I’m still sleeping good, but for whatever reason my back aches like hell when I’m on my left side so I can only sleep on my right side. That is, until the arm I’m lying on falls asleep and I have to switch to my left side, which is only temporary because then my back starts hurting. You get the idea. And worst of all, I find myself secretly planning on and hoping for an early delivery. Why is this dangerous, you ask? Because Hooper stayed cookin’ in the pot until I was nearly 42 weeks and had to evacuate him from the womb. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but those two weeks being post-due were absolutely emotionally excruciating. Those two weeks have formed my number one advice given to first time mom’s: Plan on a 42 week gestational period. As my due date passed, it started to feel like the gap between my due date and a supposed expiration date was closing. To avoid this turmoil, I’ve opted to go with the latest possible due date and in my own head I’ve added a week or so on to this. But, with time now beginning to slow the idea of cutting a month off this pregnancy and still giving birth to a full-term baby is more than tantalizing. In any case, I hate to complain this early on. I know things are bound to get bigger and more uncomfortable and at this point, I ought to praise the pregnancy gods that I can still put my shoes on and even bend over to tie the laces. And, of course, I’d also like to praise the pregnancy gods for this beautiful gift growing inside me. It may bring discomfort and fatigue and all that good stuff, but with each little jab, wiggle, and kick, I’m reminded that it truly is a blessing and the best gift I’ll ever be given.

Post-Pregnancy-Prize-Pack

It’s no secret that I dream of clothes I can wear when I’m no longer pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I love the challenge of making what I own work with my pregnant belly. But when I separated my little closet into my no way will I be able to wear this section and my clothes that MAY work with pregnancy section, I immediately started missing the neglected half. I remember taking a childbirth class when I was pregnant with Hooper and the instructor suggested the women buy a dress during their pregnancy that they plan on wearing after giving birth. A little gift from your pregnant self to your newly defined mama self. My eyes instantly lit up as I told Willy, she’s the one who suggested it, not me. Well this time around I thought I’d do something similar, though a little grandeur. I’m putting together what I’m calling a post-pregnancy-prize-pack. I’ve bought a few things over the past few months that in no way, shape, or form are appropriate for the two of us. And when I say the two of us I mean myself and this incredibly noticeable jetting out belly o’ mine. So I’ve placed these little gems in a delicate little box where I hope to forget them and then re-marvel at them at a later time, post birth. Who said I was going to include my favorite bottle of wine as well? I didn’t say that! No I didn’t… Okay, some sweet white wine may be thrown in as well. Cheers! 
What would you include in your post-pregnancy-prize-pack?
Photo source

Baby Registry Ideas

I’m hesitant to give my two cents on baby registries because I consider my own far from successful. But, what I can offer is a logical list of what you’ll need and tips I learned from mistakes I made. Here we go:

 

1 & 2. The Boppy and the Bumbo: Two small essentials. The boppy is great for breast feeding and the bumbo is great for when your little one has good head control but can’t sit on their own yet. Truthfully, I used the bumbo with the tray as a high chair for a while. It’s great because it’s small and portable. I’d sit Hooper on the kitchen counter while I cleaned up. And no, I never left him unattended in it. Don’t worry. The Boppy can also be used to work on head control, as it supports a baby lying on their stomach.
3. Nursing Bra: I have two nursing bras made by Bravado that I LOVE. Want to know a secret? I still wear them. Partly because my boobs are still too big to fit into my old B cup bras and partly because they’re just so comfortable I haven’t wanted to look for another bra. I figure my breasts will be filling with milk soon enough, so rather than waste the money on a bra that will fit today but not four months from now, I stick with these.
4. Bath tub + shampoo + towel + grooming kit: The options for bathing your little one are endless. We have the Primo Euro-Bath, which is fantastic. It adjusts to fit both a newborn and a sitting aged baby perfectly and is easy to empty and clean. The only downside is that it is rather large. For a while we only had one functional bathroom and we had to stand the EuroBath up to shower and it was always in our way. If you have a separate bathroom, preferably with a tub, then simply placing the Eurobath within the tub would eliminate this problem. I also used to set the bath on the kitchen counter and do the dishes while giving Hooper a bath. Talk about killing two birds with one stone. Again, you learn as you go. Shampoo is a personal choice, there’s tons of options, I like the Bert’s Bees but we tend to use a few different brands. I splurged before Hooper was born and bought this ridiculously priced bath towel made by 3Sprouts. Of all the silly things to spend money on, I think this was my biggest regret. You can dry your baby off with any old towel, save your money.  The grooming kit should include a brush and nail trimmers (we used hand mittens for way too long because we were scared to cut those little nails, be brave and learn from me).
5. Baby Carrier: We used the Baby Bjorn until Hooper was old enough to separate his legs and hold his head, then we used the Ergo Baby. I like the look and the feel of the Ergo baby better, but it’s not really made, as far as I know, to accommodate the floppiness of the newborn stage. Luckily we were given the Baby Bjorn as a hand-me down, so we only bought one carrier. I would check craigslist for a used Baby Bjorn and buy a Ergo Baby. The Ergo Baby can be used all the way through toddler hood as it can be used as a back carrier as well.
6. Diaper Pail + extra bags: We initially purchased the Diaper Dekor Plus Pail, which worked great for the first year. Then it started to smell. Once Hooper was eating more solids, his shit changed and the pail no longer handled the smell so well. When I looked up other pails I read of other mom’s atesting to the same thing. Based on reviews, we changed to the Arm & Hammer Munchkin Pail. The bags are easy to change and best of all, no more stench. I recommend this one from the get go.
7. Diaper Bag: Truthfully, I rarely use our diaper bag. If we have a day planned at the beach or are going on vacation, I take it. But for day to day errands and trips I just keep wipes and an extra diaper or two in my car. I think you could get by just using a purse, especially with some of the over-sized purses out there nowadays. I have the StorkSak Olivia Diaper Bag, which I splurged on after my purse idea busted on me (I was using a cheap fabric purse). I get many compliments on it and I love it, but like I said, I don’t use it enough to justify spending that much on a diaper bag.
8. Car Seat + Extra Base: We had one car seat given to us as a hand-me-down and bought another one used on craiglist. I think the recommendation is to replace a car seat every 5 years, but both of the ones we have are in excellent condition and happen to be less than 5 years old. We have the Graco Snugride solely because it’s what was compatible with our Bugaboo stroller. What do I mean by compatible, you ask? See, I would have asked the same thing the first time around. Again, you learn as you go. The Bugaboo stroller comes with a standard frame and has an attachment that works with the Graco Snugride so you can simply snap the car seat into the frame. We used this method exclusively until about six months or so when Hooper weighted too much to be lugging that thing in and out of the car. It worked out well, because at six months he was able to sit up in the stroller anyway. Whether you go with the Bugaboo or another stroller, a “snap-and-go” is definitely handy. It’s no fun to wake a sleeping newborn in their comfy car seat to transfer them to a stroller. Much easier to take the car seat out and snap it into the stroller. Oh yes, get an extra care seat base for ease of sharing between two cars. Tons of people sell used extra bases on craiglist for cheap. 
9. Monitor: If you have a small house, screw the monitor. A mother is like a hawk when it comes to her baby crying. We have a small house and Hooper’s room is right next to ours, however, Willy insists on sleeping with a white noise maker which makes it hard to hear anything else. We currently have the Sony Baby Call Monitor, which is one of the best priced monitors around. Originally we bought the Angelcare monitor , but after a few months it started to develop this terrible ticking noise. It was right around the time Hooper was sleeping a solid 4-5 hours straight, so to be awoken instead by a ticking monitor was the absolute worst. If they had a monitor destruction yard, I would have taken it there. This monitor deserved the very worst of fates. I’ve had no issues with the Sony Baby Call and, like I said, it’s one of the cheapest out there.
10. Breast Pump: If you are a working mama like myself, you will enter the unfortunate world of pumping. People can say whatever they want and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sitting with a machine attached to my tits in a tiny closet sized room with a billion work stresses around me was not fun. I dread the thought of not only returning to work and leaving two babies now, but also having to pump all over again. I’m sure I’ll have many posts on the subject to come, but I’ll limit this post to what I suggest and why. I have the Medla Pump In Style. I was told by my midwife, who is also an excellent lactation specialist to get a double electric pump. They are faster and more efficient. Sometimes I would use the Medela Symphony because it was available when I’d pump on the labor and delivery unit, though I must say I would express just as much milk with the Pump In Style. The only thing I liked better about the Symphony is that it was quieter. The Symphony, by the way, is so pricey it’s only available, as far as I know, to rent. In any case, any double electric pump is going to cost you some bucks. If you are unsure if you will be a working pumping mama, then just wait. You can always get it later. You may try breastfeeding and find that, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work for you. It’d be a shame to waste a few hundred bucks on something you didn’t end up needing. But, if  you’re like me, and completely dedicated to solely breastfeeding, get the pump beforehand. One last thing you’ll have to leave the house to hunt for.
11. Food processor: This is only necessary if you plan on making your own baby food. We bought the Beaba Babycook. It’s very simple to use and there are only three parts to clean. It’s not the cheapest thing, but it’s something I continue to use til this day and something I will be using once again when the second baby arrives. There’s tons of recipes online, though for the most part experimenting with fruit and veggie purees isn’t rocket science. And there’s nothing like knowing exactly what your baby’s eating. I just don’t trust carrots that can sit on a shelf for years on end.
12. High Chair: Just like everything else, there are a billion to chose from. We opted for the cheapo wooden high chair you’d find in a restaurant and I love it. It sits nicely at the table, drawing no attention to itself like some other big clunky chairs. You can read my earlier post here, where I give my two cents on high chairs.
13. Bottles & Nipples: I remember when I went back to work and it was time for Hooper to learn to take breast milk from the bottle, which is a separate story in itself. My dad went to the local Babies R’ Us and was taken back by the ENTIRE wall of bottles and nipples to chose from. Back in the day, he said, you bought whatever bottle they sold. Today, there a plethora of options with several parts and nipples that come in different levels based on speed of flow which is based on age. Not as easy as you’d think, right? You learn as you go as a new mom. But my advice is this: buy/register for a couple different bottles and a couple different nipples. When you experiment with those, you can buy more of what you like most or what works the best.
14. Changing Pad: You can change your baby anywhere. If you want to have a designated “changing table”, that’s obviously available. But you certainly don’t need it. We opted for the changing tray, which fits perfectly across our crib and therefore takes up very little space. We keep the wipes and a few diapers on there. We have the rest of the diapers in a drawer within arms reach. You can also place this changing tray on top of a dresser you already have or were planning on using and viola, it’s magically a changing table. If you opt for an actual changing table, I read this great article on re-purposing them when your done.
15. Crib + Sheet + Mattress: Not much to say about these items. I imagine even if you decide to co-sleep you’ll want a crib for naps or the post co-sleep era. What I can say is that the crib I fell in love with was rather expensive. I managed to find one on craigslist for less than half price from a family that opted to co-sleep and never ended up using the crib. It was a score. Walmart has tons of affordable cribs and a wide variety in terms of style. We currently have two crib sheets we rotate between. My mom made one and the other is a very plain and simple store bought sheet. Making a crib sheet is fairly simple. If you desire to go this route you have more options as you can find any fabric or twin sheet and convert it into a lovely handmade sheet. Whatever you decide, you don’t really need more than two. And a mattress, that’s rather essential.
16. Stroller: I loved the idea of having a vintage pram. I had visions of myself strolling with my newborn baby in parks you’d only find in the middle of Paris. My dream died with the more research I did. I called one store to see if I could look at a pram they sold and the woman pretty much detoured me over the phone, explaining they’re really only practical for those who live in a big city and take an elevator up to their loft. And she’s right. For one, prams are monstrously large. With that large size comes weight. They’re not really made to be shuffled in and out of a mini van. And the wheels do not provide for optimal steering. To turn a corner requires some degree of lifting because either the front or the back wheels don’t rotate, I forget. Then I fell in love with the bugaboo. I can’t tell you how many times Willy and I have turned to one another and declared, “I love this stroller”. Just the other day I took Hooper with me to the doctor and thought about if I had bought that pram as I navigated my way through the heavy door and hallway and into the tiny bathroom to pee in the cup. The bugaboo rides like a dream. Last time we were at the flea market, some strange man even commented, “Looks like he’s riding in the Cadillac of strollers”. Yes, a man took note. And it is the Cadillac of strollers. It turns beautifully, it breaks down easily, it’s stylish, the seat is adjustable, I could go on and on. The only thing the bugaboo has against it is the price, which granted is a major factor. So, once again, we turned to craigslist. We bought ours used for a couple hundred and eventually bit the bullet and bought a new seat and hood, which were a little faded. I think it’s one of the best purchases we made. And all the parts are sold individually so replacing or upgrading any part is not an issue.
Things you can wait on: Swings, Bouncers, Bassinets… Forget em’. Again, this is just my opinion. We bought a playpen and have used it once. I can’t imagine most babies would be cool with the confinements of a play pen. Hooper hated it. I wrote it off as a total waste of money until we used it as a portable crib in Big Bear. Then it had a purpose. For that reason alone, I leave it in his closet. Otherwise I would have listed it on Craigslist a long time ago. I think it’s easy to go overboard with the swings and bouncers. Tons of people are looking to get rid of this stuff anyway. If you don’t get something as a hand-me-down, check your local thrift shop give it a good cleaning and voila, money saved. You’ll use these things for such a small period in time it’s not worth buying brand new, in my opinion. And bassinets, sure they’re beautiful, but I never found a use for one. Just seems like one more thing cluttering a house.
General Tips: Use logic. It’s like going through a wedding magazine only to get to the end and have a new list of a thousand things you didn’t know you needed prior to opening the magazine. Same same but different. Register for what you want and need. What you don’t get, look for used on craigslist or thrift stores. Still need some items? Check out Diapers.com. Seriously, best site ever. Load up your cart, I believe first time customers still get 20% off. They deliver right to your door within two days. We still get all of our diapers and other random needs from this site and I can’t say enough good things about them. Returns are also super easy.
And if anyone else has any other suggestions please leave them in the comment section for other readers to see!
My list and tips for baby numero dos soon to follow…

Psst…

Before I divulge my secret I want to tell the little story behind it. It was the night before my first appointment with Dr.C, our new back-up OB. It dawned on me that this would most likely be my last ultrasound and therefore my last opportunity, short of visiting a psychic, to find out the sex of our baby. I’ve been dying to know. Sure, it was my plan to keep it a surprise. I had visions of our beautiful midwife lying our freshly born baby onto my chest while Willy and I eagerly peek between the legs to unveil all we had been waiting for. Don’t get me wrong, this is a beautiful vision. It still sounds dreamy. But I really wanted to know the sex and it started becoming this game of inner strength and it wasn’t suppose to be that way. It was planned to be a surprise because initially I didn’t care one way or the other. I still don’t care one way or the other, but I definitely was dying to know… so I went to my appointment. The doctor insisted on doing an ultrasound to rule out any problems that would prevent me from being able to deliver at home. When he was done ruling things out, he shut off the machine. I then prompted him to turn his magical wand back on so I could have a little secret to go home with. On went the machine. He scanned my belly for another ten seconds our so babbling about how the baby’s breach and it’s kinda hard to get in between the legs and then he thought he saw something and so he went with what he thought he saw and declared, “I’d say you’re having a…. 
So with that said, I’m fairly certain Hooper will be having a brother. I say fairly because really he took ten seconds and to be honest, it looked to me like the penis could have been mistaken for the umbilical cord. But I’m going declare it a boy being that it’s a 50/50 shot to begin with and with probable boy parts seen, I’m going to bet that 50/50 is swayed a little more toward the boy end of the spectrum. Hip hip hooray! Truthfully, I’d be celebrating either way. I just want a healthy baby. But gosh, it feels good to know.

21 Weeks

Kick-o-rama ought to be the title of this weeks post. Only this time around, the kicks are low. Real low. Like so low Willy has to put his hand down my pants to feel those little thumps and punches. I read that this is fairly typical for second pregnancies. Something with the muscles dropping. What do you know, more sagging. Ha! I’ve also been battling a cold and have been exceptionally tired this week, having to nap when Hooper naps, which is usually when I clean up, blog, do laundry, edit photos… So ya, I feel a bit behind and I’m surrounded by one messy house. But I’m feeling better. Now if only I could get through the night without that post-nasal drip making me hack up a storm. Willy would enjoy the better rest too.
Psst… today is my last chance to find out the sex of our baby. I have my first appointment with our new backup OB (who I don’t plan on seeing past this point) and have opted to have a 20-ish week ultrasound to confirm that all the parts are there and growing and all that good stuff. I have this terrible inner turmoil brewing. I’m dying to know the sex of our baby, but I also LOVE surprises and there really is no greater surprise… rrriiiggghhhhtttt? Oh temptation is horrible. Today I have a love hate relationship with technology.

19 + 20 Weeks

What do you know… these weeks are going by so fast that I’m behind. I meant to prepare my 19 week post before we left for the mountains… but, it just didn’t end up that way. So here we go, two birds one stone. 
I had a little handsome fellow join me on my 19 and 20 week shoot. What a cutie. So, what’s new in pregnancy land you ask? Well, they’re creepy. They’re crawly. They ruin the daisy duke look. They’re dun dun dun (dramatic music, please) spider veins. I wish there were a way of writing that so all the letters were a bit squiggly. But whatever, you get the idea. Yup, just another fun thing us pregnant women must endure. First pregnancies almost seem easier because these things are more easily overlooked. But the second time around… it’s like an allergic reaction; it gets worse with each occurrence. It’s not that this pregnancy is so drastically different, but rather my reserves to deal with all these bodily changes is less. With that said, I feel  fantastic. This second trimester has been a breeze thus far. Oh ya, and maybe it’s that mountain air I keep coming back to, but my skin is clearing up. Wahoo. Now that’s a reason to smile. With no further adieu, here’s my little helper and I at 20 weeks…

18 Weeks

For a day my face was relatively clear. And by clear I mean all I had were some scars that were relatively easy to cover up. No new bumps begging to be popped. I thought this pimple stuff was nearing an end. I thought I could finally stop hanging out at pool joints or sneaking into movies I didn’t pay for or going to punk rock concerts. For that smidgen of time, I finally didn’t feel 17 again. For the past few months it seems like just as I get rid of one pimple another one sprouts. I mean really? Isn’t the weight gain enough for a woman to deal with? I won’t even mention the wonderful thickened hair that’s followed only by hair that’s as stringy and thin as an elderly woman. No offense to elderly woman. But now I know why many mom’s opt for the “bob” look postpartum. It’s just what works. Elderly woman have been doing it for years. Only they don’t have pimples all over their chins. Am I saying I’m jealous of the elderly now? What’s wrong with me? I also won’t mention the sensitivity, the resentment associated with watching as your husband enjoys the same body he had when you got married despite the fact that you can beat him in a push up contest (yes, this is true. Ask Willy. He won’t deny it.), and I certainly won’t mention the fact that yes, this growing thing inside you has to come out at some point and it exits through a small, very small hole. The same hole you were worried about inserting a tampon in. No, no, no, I won’t mention any of these things. What’s that you say? I just mentioned all those things? Well I can’t just go back on what I’ve already said…
But I can leave you with a positive thought for this wonderful week in pregnancy. There is nothing, seriously nothing, as sweet as being a mother. Love became better defined the day I birthed Hooper. People can bitch all they want about pregnancy and lack of free time and sleepless nights and how it sucks worse to be a woman and how your kids turn on you when their teenagers… and all of that can be true. But the sum of all the negative doesn’t even begin to compete with sum of the positive. It really doesn’t. My meaning, my purpose, my joy wakes me every morning with a little whine that reminds me I am the luckiest mom in the world. And there’s no feeling that good.
That little kick Willy got to feel with his hand cusped over my belly felt pretty good this week too.

17 Weeks

Chug a’ chug a choo choo. I can’t believe how fast these weeks roll right into the next. I had a preconceived notion that documenting each week of this pregnancy would slow it down, as documenting requires some sort of pause and reflection. Not the case. It’s more like pause, reflect, and oh my lord, time to pause and reflect again?! I hate this picture of myself, by the way, but Willy gives me about three shots to get it right. So this is all I got. Ba Humbug.
I have sad news to share this week. My back up OB, who I talked about here has passed away. It’s an incredible loss for his family, friends, and patients not to mention a loss for the entire birthing world. I will remember Dr. Kline for his support of a woman’s right to chose a birth at home as well as his patience and gentle soul. You can scan through this facebook page where others have shared their thoughts and condolences. You’ll quickly see just why he was so special.

16 Weeks

What was a battle last week has already ended in celebration this week. I have to say, I was quite prepared to go the distance. I had already researched the appeal process. I have notes with dates and names of people I talked too, all neatly kept in anticipation of having to include them in my appeal letter. Why am I celebrating, you ask?
Because I have an authorization number. From my insurance company.
What’s an authorization number, you ask? Oh, it’s just a little series of numbers that represent approval. Approval of a home birth. Yup, approval to cover the fiances of our home birth.
Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray.
Wanna know how I did it? I’m dying to share. Stay tuned…

15 weeks

Fifteen weeks marks the beginning of what is clearly shaping up to be a battle. A downright brawl. Not a whose going to throw the first punch kinda fight, but rather a come out swinging kinda fight. The stuff people pay to see to pay-per-view. The knock me down and up I stand kinda fight.
I’m dealing with the insurance company.
I had (oh it feels nice to use past tense here) two obvious barriers to my gloriously planned home birth. I say two obvious barriers because I realize there will be subtle barriers along the way that I will deal with. Back to the obvious two: Willy and affordability. I wanted to get Willy on board first because it wasn’t even worth looking at the financial aspect if I didn’t have his support. But, alas, his support I have. In fact, with each passing day and a few heartfelt conversations, I’d venture to say I have more than just a complacent husband. As he works out his own issues of fear, he’s actually coming around to understand my mind frame a little more. And it’s oh so comforting. Gosh I love that guy.
On to the financial battle. We cannot afford to pay out of pocket for this home birth. Many people do end up paying with cold hard cash merely because insurance companies do not consider midwives “in-network” providers. But, there seem to be a few loopholes for those that have the energy to jump through a thousand loops and for those who love, and I mean LOVE calling 800 numbers. Not 900 numbers people, get your minds out of the gutter.
Anyway, I’ll keep you updated with the happenings. If anyone is looking to fight the same battle, please let me know and I will share more specific details of what I’m doing and what you too can do to combat the big tumultuous world that is the insurance company.

Maternal Mortality Rate in the U.S.

The News-Register released an article the other morning titled, “Danger in delivery: Despite technology, U.S. trails entire western world in saving mothers”. I thought it was interesting follow up in light of my recent post highlighting the severity of the infant mortality rates in the U.S. It’s interesting that not only are our infants suffering, but our mother’s too. The article opens by stating the following:
Women in the United States are more likely to die during or shortly after childbirth than women in nearly all countries in Europe and many in Asia and the Middle East, according to the United Nations.
While maternal mortality declined in most countries over the past 20 years, it has not just increased, but nearly doubled, in the United States.
Experts blame the high death rate partly on the heavy reliance the United States places on technological intervention, particularly when it results, as it so often does, in surgical delivery via cesarean section. They say motivators include both convenience and fear of litigation in the event of a less-than-perfect outcome.
Originally meant to be strictly an emergency action to save a struggling baby, it has become all but routine in the U.S. It is now used in almost one-third of all American births. 
The article goes on to highlight the fact that despite the obvious increases in medical interventions, there are no studies proving a respective improvement in outcome. In fact, the findings are quite the contrary. 
In March, “Contraception: An International Reproductive Health Journal,” a peer-reviewed medical journal published by the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals, published a landmark editorial on the subject. Titled, “Maternal Mortality in the United States: A Human Rights Failure,” it was authored by Francine Coeytaux of WomanCare Global, Debra Bingham of the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses, and Nan Strauss of Amnesty International USA.
The editorial states:
“In contrast to many countries where women lack access to life-saving medical interventions, women and infants (in the U.S.) are often exposed to more procedures than are medically necessary or beneficial. This overuse of medical procedures increases injuries as well as costs.
“Indeed, we are unaware of any study indicating that the 56 percent increase in the rate of surgical births from 1996 to 2008 has improved outcomes. However, there are data to show that the overuse of medical procedures has increased both infant and maternal morbidity.”
Performance of a Cesarean section in one pregnancy also leads to increase the risks in the next. Consequently, doctors have historically discouraged women from attempting to deliver subsequent babies vaginally, a trend that also has helped to increase the national rate of Cesarian sections.
 Yet another finding linking increased medical interventions with poorer outcomes. In my own research, I’ve come across several studies that have found fetal monitoring alone to lead to more interventions but not improved outcomes. This article also touched on fetal monitoring and it’s role in the snow ball effect. I was required to be on a fetal monitor when I gave birth to Hooper and found it incredibly distracting. Instead of concentrating on my body and what it was doing, my eyes were glued to that monitor. I think the monitor alone was a huge source of anxiety especially for Willy. Labor is a stress to the baby even in the best of circumstances and the monitor is always going to reflect that. With that said, the monitor is never calming or reassuring, rather I believe it to be a constant source of worry and concern. Anyway, this is what the article had to say about it:
Hedges, who is retiring from practice to teach and write, said reasons for the nation’s extraordinarily high Cesarean rate are as complex as the American health care system. It starts, he said, with pervasive fetal monitoring in hospitals.
The practice is intended to let doctors monitor the baby’s health continuously throughout the birthing process. But he said, “Studies show that continuous monitoring doesn’t change anything, except to increase the C-section rate.”
That is, it doesn’t change anything in a positive direction. It does change one thing in a negative direction — it costs some mothers their lives. 
That’s because it leads to more C-sections, and a woman is three times more likely to die from a C-section than a vaginal delivery. C-sections also cause substantially more medical complications not resulting in fatality.
If doctors see an abnormality in the readings, Hedges said, they are more likely to perform a C-section, just to be on the safe side in a notoriously litigious area of practice. But he said, “In the vast majority of cases, those babies are fine,” despite the abnormal readings. In many cases, Hedges said, doctors simply don’t know what causes the abnormal readings.
Obstetrician/gynocologyst Dr. John Neeld of the Willamette Valley Medical Center agreed that fear of giant lawsuits is often the driver in such cases.
For example, he said, the fetal heartrate tracing patterns might be slightly elevated, but not necessarily indicative of a baby in trouble. But the combination of a doctor worried about possible lawsuits if his interpretation turns out wrong, and a patient afraid for her baby, and determined to take any action necessary to ensure its safety, often leads to a C-section that, in hindsight, was probably not necessary, he said.
“Those are not small lawsuits,” he said. “I personally have not been sued, but if I get sued for $10 million, I know I’m out of business, because my insurance willl be so high that I won’t be able to continue practicing.”
The problem here seems to be twofold. For one you have doctors making decisions based on fear for their own licenses and welfare. But, the problem is really larger than that. The fact is we live in a very lawsuit friendly nation and the reality therefore is that doctors have to make decisions based on fear for their own licenses and welfare. You can’t really fault them for this. It’s always been my complaint as a nurse that we spend more time charting about patient care than spending time with our patients. Again, we’re a litigious nation. This needs to be fixed before the system of providing medical care can be changed. 
I’ve touched on infant mortality rate, but this article goes on to state the maternal mortality rate. And the results are shocking. 
The United Nations releases a new report every five years. The United States ranked 41st in child mortality in the 2005 report, but had slipped nine spots to 50th by 2010.
The United States averaged 12.7 deaths per 100,000 live births in 2009, up from 7.1 a decade earlier. Nearly every industrialized nation in the world does better than that, as do several developing nations, according to the U.N.
Callaghan noted the U.S. had once set a goal of bringing its rate of maternal deaths down to 3.3 per 100,000 live births by 2010. The country has made no progress toward reaching that goal, he said.
In fact, the government has now given up on it. Now, it proposes to reduce maternal deaths to 11.4 per 100,000 live births by 2020.
Looks like we have quite a ways to go to reach our goal. 
The article touches on other factors that additionally affect maternal mortality such as age, obesity, and access to health care. Woman in the U.S. are statistically older when compared to other nations, and with age comes a higher rate of complications. Same with obesity. More fat, more complications. And whereas other nations have national health care, many in the U.S. are without insurance and therefore do not receive proper prenatal or postpartum care. 
Being that I’m relatively young, not obese, and insured, looks like the only thing I have to worry about is unnecessary medical interventions. Yet again, all signs point to a birth at home.
Photo source

Food Cravings

I know I ate a lot of bananas as a baby. I don’t think I’ve touched them since. But whenever I cook bananas for Hooper, the smell just melts my taste buds. I bought some banana chips at the store. I tried em’. I liked em’. Banana chips can now be found in our cupboards at all times. I haven’t ventured to try a banana all by itself, I’m picky that way, but I have also been adding cooked bananas to my pancakes and they are to die for. I crave them all day long. My sister added the suggestion of using crisco in the pan. Um, ya… big mistake. Crisco turned my to-die-for pancakes into to-kill-for pancakes. I will do just about anything for that greasy crunchy banana goodness. I look forward to going to bed at night just to wake up to this:

See that crunchy overhang? That’s the best part. And don’t be fooled by the single pancake. I go back for seconds. And want thirds, but I stop myself after two. 

Then & Now, 14 weeks

When I was 14 weeks pregnant with Hooper, we were exploring Cuba with eyes wide and hearts heavy with anticipation for the inevitable change that was to come. It’s funny, when you have a baby it becomes almost impossible to remember what your life was like before they existed. It’s hard to remember what we did with all that free time when the only one depending on us was ourselves. But traveling has a way of changing that; a way of cementing memories and solidifying your existence as merely a couple. We’ll always remember and cherish our time spent in Cuba. 
We arrived in Cancun with a sealed envelope of cash with instructions to obtain our airline tickets to Cuba. They read: When you arrive in Cancun, tell the driver you are going to Cuba. He will leave you at the proper door. When you get there you will see a coffee shop on your left and small counters. In front of the counters, look for a man named Saul. He is around 40 years old, curly hair, obviously Mexican, and usually in a cream colored shirt. You must give him the sealed envelope of cash. He will in-turn give you your visas and your tickets. We managed to find Saul, who actually appeared 60 years old, had skim-to-none amount of hair even left on his head, and was in a red shirt. Either way, it worked out.
Cuba does not have any hostels, which is our typical accommodation choice. Instead, Cubans rent out rooms in their homes to tourists. These homes are called Casa Particulares and the government strictly controls them. In fact, within the first 24-48 hours, a government official arrives to verify their occupancy. Seventy percent of the $25/per night charge is turned over to the government. When considering that Cubans only make a mere equivalency of $12-20 US a month, those that own Casa Particulares make out like bandits. In order to rent out a room, it must first be inspected and approved by the government. As a result, all rooms offer a standard of clean rooms with warm water, bath towels, clean sheets and pillows (mostly stuffed with cotton balls), private bathroom, air conditioning, and refrigerators. Standards like these sure beat sleeping with bed bugs in India or rats in the Dominican Republic. Staying in the Casa Particulares also allows for a closer connection with the Cuban people. To be invited into their home allows you to directly observe their life. It also allows you to see what the homes look and feel like behind the delapitated facade they stand behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See that man with the table resting on his knees? We stayed with him. He was pleasant to wake up each morning. We left him a pair of shoes.
Because Cuba is a communist country, its citizens do not pay for things like housing, education, medicine, food is rationed, etc. Even things like sporting events and going to the movies are considered a right to the people. Considering the current state of the American economy, sounds dreamy right? Not so. The Cuban people receive far less than what they need. The buildings are ill maintained. Several were built in the early 1900’s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life in Cuba is difficult. Even when one has means to get what they need, one cannot always find what they need. We offered to bring the family we stayed with in Havana anything they might need from the US. The father was a Pediatrician and the mother ran the Casa Particular out of the house. Of all things, they needed a doorbell. Seems nowhere in Cuba sells doorbells. We traded for Cohiba cigars, which turned out to be fake. Not to worry, many legitimately Cuban cigars were consumed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aside from the struggles and the suppression, there is something very magical about Cuba. And while the US has so much of what Cuba lacks, there is a great deal we can learn from the Cuban people. The comparison, in my opinion, is like an organic apple to a genetically enhanced apple. While Cuba may appear a little rough around the edges and while you may expect the people to be moping around with their heads down, what the people possess on the inside is pure beauty and a spirit strengthened by survival. Though the streets are filled with potholes, dog shit, and dilapidated buildings, they are also full of life. As a photographer, you know you are in a special place when you can walk down the same street ten times and each time photograph ten different scenes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check out those pearly whites, those glasses, and an actual cane (no PVC pipe used there). Not to mention his friends leather shoes. Not too shabby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Makes one question what it really means to live. The street we live on is full of empty cars and empty homes. Dogs and cats live behind fences. Walk down any street in Cuba and you’ll see people making ends meet. Many Cubans use a lever system, for example, to bring buckets of water or fruit up to their homes. The physical energy this takes is probably more than the majority many Americans exert in a day. You’ll find kids playing stickball because not only do they not have actual baseballs and bats, but they also do not have video games, iPods, or computers. While these kids know everyone on their block, I do not know the names of my own neighbors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you walk through a shopping center in the US, you are bombarded with advertisements attempting to sell you on a way some major corporation can profit on you living your life. Walk anywhere in Cuba and you will not find advertisements. Not even commercials on the TV. In fact, I’m told the commercials are instead educational tid-bits about how to breast-feed, for example. I walked through a local market and found nothing more than things sold to fix things: nuts and bolts, replacement roof tiles, and a watch repairman. Life in America is about consumption. Life in Cuba is about sustainability. I mean check out those cars they keep running after all these years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel that in America, we define ourselves by our possessions. People in Cuba, however, are too busy being, living, and surviving. An article in Adbusters addresses this notion, “social life becomes so completely dominated by accumulated products that it causes a shift from having to appearing, wherein all ‘having’ must now derive its immediate prestige from appearances”. We appear to have a lot, but in so many ways have nothing. Cubans, on the other hand, appear to have nothing, but in so many ways have more than we do. Not to say communism is the way or that Cuba is where this family will be re-locating… but there is something to be said for a country with no McDonalds.

 

 

So that was then and this is now. Memories packed away in backpacks in the garage and little stampering feet running the halls reminding us that we have transformed from husband and wife to family. And what a beautiful transformation it has been.