A Road Trip, 2020

It’s funny looking back on this season of life and motherhood; in the throws of Covid, one year post divorce, one year before losing my dad.

Sometimes motherhood can feel so permanent, like the phase you’re in is never going to end. Some phases are rough and you’re practically willing them along and others are sweet and you long for them to linger longer than they do.

I could never have seen Covid as the blessing then that I know it to be now. Not, of course, on a global scale, but instead in terms of the forced closeness — navigating school from the dining room table, then school on the road, and – mostly – learning what to do with a whole lot of nothing to do.

We had hit the road just weeks prior to this and visited Arizona, New Mexico, and Utah. We came home only to escape again, this time visiting Northern California, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and Utah.

The seasons are changing and I feel the sand sliding through my fingers. I welcome it in a sense — getting to watch them grow and become more independent is a true honor. Looking back on these memories, before their wings seemed so vast, carries a new appreciation. A greater value. Doing this all on my own is the hardest and the most fulfilling; a true testament to how so many things in life coexist. An integration of opposites, not a separation of parts.

Cities visited: Lake Tahoe, Briggs, Yellowstone, Livingston, The Grand Tetons, and Salt Lake City.

Sayulita, 2019

July 2019 | The trip that was never supposed to be. Well, that’s not entirely true. It was supposed to be, just not supposed to be Sayulita. It actually started with tickets to Peru and plans to visit the factory we are not manufacturing with (for The Bee & The Fox). Not to mention Machu Picchu, because how could we not? And all sorts of other dreams and wishes and cute airbnb’s and even dinner plans with some of our manufacturing team on our first night in Lima. Those plans were quickly put to rest when we showed up at LAX – Janet and Carla having already flown down from Seattle – and got turned away at the ticket counter because my passport expires in January of 2020 (apparently Peru has a stipulation that your passport cannot expire within 6 months and I was 4 days – yes, four days – too late). So there we were, Hooper, Van, and Carla backpacks ready and filled with all sorts of warm weather clothes in anticipation of Cuzco’s 30 degree weather. I took one look at J and watched as the look of disbelief was damn near instantly replaced with an excitement. With wild eyes she looked at me and said, “Where to now?”. And just like that we broke into groups. The kids in one huddle throwing out there own ideas of what we could do with the next 10 days. And J and I trying to figure out how to get my dad – who had dropped us off – to come back and swoop us back up. We pondered road trips… countries we haven’t been to in Central America… we looked up costs and flights and soon nailed down our wishlist that consisted of: somewhere warm (because we were both dreading winter in Peru), somewhere affordable, somewhere somewhat close since we had now lost a day (we were boarding the red eye to Peru).

Isn’t there a saying that when no one else wants you, that Mexico will take you? There should be. And so, to Sayulita we went. Last minute trip to Target for J, since she didn’t come swimsuit ready. And we were off.

Or were we? It’s all a blur at this point but all I know is that we were delayed for what felt like ever and if having these huge change of plans wasn’t already mind-numbing enough, this felt like it was going to kill us. That said, there’s something about surviving hardships with your best friend by your side and we were somehow able to laugh as our flight continued to be pushed back due to weather. Being able to go sit down at a restuarant and to come back to find a plane still not boarding felt like a victory. You know, because waiting for a flight with a full belly is greater than waiting for a plane hungry. Silver linings… they’re absolutely everywhere these days and you better believe I’ve got my eyes peeled.

We made it there just after midnight and enjoyed slow mornings and beach filled afternoons and riding around town in our rented golf cart and evening adventures on hidden beaches. It was perfect. Hot and sweaty and bug bitten with grande margaritas most afternoons and too much ice cream and stray dogs we wanted to call our own. A town where the sea stole my sandal in one monstrous wave and my sunglasses broke on day 2. A town painted with color and eager to welcome you, with iguanas in the trees and a calm, steady, rhythm beating in its soul.

Life, they say, can’t always be planned. So you go with it and find that sometimes life has better ideas.

Ain’t that the truth?

Want to hear about how we almost weren’t able to make it to the airport for our flight back because Van was barfing for the second time and couldn’t get out of bed but had a last minute surge of energy but then our flight was canceled anyway – after hours of waiting – and we had to spend another night in Puerto Vallerta and how J had to then change her flight back to Seattle and how that sent a plane full of restless travelers to the same taxi line and then the same hotel where we once again had to wait in line with everyone from our plane and where everything was “all inclusive” except wifi but not excluding the smell in the elevator?

I’ll spare you and end it again with: Life, they say, can’t always be planned. So you go with it and find that sometimes life has better ideas. And the kids… they’re watching us — we can lead with fear, we can lead with anxiety, or we can lead with openness and flexibility.

Our First Camping Trip

This time, last year. August, to be exact. When I thought the story would be about tackling our first ever camping trip as a family of four. A trip where after one night with Sonny scared of the dark and screaming I thought I might die. Only two things saved me: a nap in the hammock with Sonny cradled in my arms and my parents showing up and taking Sonny home with them so the older boys and I (and the rest of the campground) could have a restful nights sleep.

One year later, I’ve forgotten the hardships — the fact that we almost didn’t even get the camping spot we reserved months ahead of time due to faulty bookkeeping on the campgrounds part, or the schlepping of all the stuff that camping entails — the pre-made meals, the lanterns, the activity books, the headlamps… practicing setting up a tent that still had the price tag on it from years ago — the daytime downpour that resulted in a bunch of naked boys running amuck in a tent I tried my best to keep clean. Stuff that seemed so significant at the time.

And now, one year later, all I see is that my dad was there. I wonder if his body knew things we did not. I look at that picture of him and am heartbroken that photos are the only way I can see him now. I weave between gratitude for what was and brokenheartedness for what is.

I didn’t come here today to reminisce on my dad. I have so many intentions to spend more time here writing, sharing, remembering, sorting, purging — but the motivation to share here never seems to quite match up with the time I have to actually be here. Even as I write this Sonny is by my side shooting a nerf gun with no bullets and each time he prepares to pull the trigger I envision my thought being launched out of the gun, dissipating into thin air. Life as a single mom is like that; constantly trying to grab hold onto nothing, forever reminded that I’m footloose, and ping ponging between the futile attempts to find grounding and the complete surrender in knowing we live in a groundless world.

It feels all over the place — my thoughts, my writing — and yet it’s all connected and all I have.

Springville

May 2020 | A place we keep returning to. A place that feels like our own. A place that we’ve left two times in a row with a new kitty in tow; a stray that’s found us, and we let in. Last time it was Lola, this time, Sol. Memories withstanding the heat and the mud, forever calling us back. And us, forever answering that call. A reminder that even muddy waters can be cleansing.

Don’t mind me while I catch up here on years of life…

Vietnam

Los Angeles to Ho Chi Minh / Saigon (22 hours), Saigon to Hanoi (2 hour flight), Hanoi to Cat Ba, Cat Ba to Ninh Binh to Tom Coc (taxi to speedboat to taxi to bus to speedboat to bus to taxi), Tom Coc to Hoi An (16 hour sleeper bus), Da Nang to Can Tho (1.5 hour flight), Can Tho to Ho Chi Minh / Saigon, Ho Chi Minh back to Los Angeles.

 

Two years late. Because that’s my life these days. But loving this look back to the what feels like a lifetime ago; just my older boys and Janet, with Carla. Adventuring through busy streets, eating frogs, raising our glasses, driving through back roads on mopeds, learning about the Vietnam war, and studying a culture different than our own. When I think about how I want to raise my boys, this is it. This world is such a gift and there’s so much to discover. I find it both my duty and my privilege to show them at least some of the corners.

Longing for Covid to be over. Wear your masks 🙂

Slab City USA

February 2020 | Slab City. Where the outhouses stink but the stars shine. A trip that drove home the following point: There’s lots of ways to live your life.

We stayed in Ponderosa, which is a neighborhood – if you will – within the Slabs. Ponderosa is led by a tall, slender, wispy white beard man nicknamed Spyder and is made up of a makeshift kitchen / bar / outdoor living room, all made out of plywood, sheet metal, wooden pallets, tarps, and other found materials.

On Slab City:

Dubbed the last free place on earth, is home to a community of outcasts, squatters, artists, and desert dwellers. The isolated desert community was created by transient, freedom-seeking people like these, all living off the grid in trailers, tents, lean-tos, and broken-down school buses in a remote patch of the Sonoran Desert, on the eastern shore of the Salton Sea.

Here, the word “city” is a bit of a misnomer. The Slabs, as the community is known, has no connection to the main power grid, no trash or water services, and a general lack of basic amenities. The encampment is as bare bones as it gets. Streets are made of hardened dirt, most structures are built from salvaged materials, and packs of dogs roam the area.

Slab City boasts its own skatepark, bar, library, and so on.

Adjacent to the Slabs, but it’s own entity in it’s own right is the East Jesus community of artists.

On East Jesus:

The camp may look fairly similar to other parts of the Slabs, with eccentric art installations made of repurposed garbage and provisional trailer accommodations for a small group of residents, but the area is private property. Local non-profit the Chasterus Foundation bought the 30-acre plot in 2016.

East Jesus’ main attraction is an elaborate outdoor “art museum” that’s open to the public year-round, featuring a wall of broken TVs covered with pithy messages, a car adorned with baby doll heads, and other oddities. Behind the museum is where East Jesus residents actually live, in an intricate maze of trailers surrounding a communal living area.

You can read more by clicking here.

San Francisco

December 2020 – January 2021 | My blog has become an area of paralysis in my life because I just don’t have the time and energy to breath life into it. I have hundreds of pictures of moments that have since past with no words to infuse the story. And I’m surrendering in hopes that the images themselves can do that for me. Accepting that I’ll never have the time and energy to give all I know it deserves but that perfection cannot be my goal. That it’s the perfection that’s paralyzing, not this space.
 
And so, this is how we rung in the new year. A year that, on the heels of my divorce, I had been waiting for; the year that was supposed to laugh in the face of all the hardships from the year that preceded it. And yet, it’s been anything but for so many of us. 
 
We hit up every skate park we could find, crossing the bridge over to Berkley and Oakland, as well as to Marin. We frequented Ocean Beach, skated down Mission Street, caught sunset at Twin Peaks, visited the painted ladies, took a boat over to Alcatraz, explored the Surto Baths, took the BART into downtown… all the things I can remember loving about living there with some tailored-to-them tourist excursions for good measure.
 
Knowing that we came here when Hooper and Van were little (it was actually our first road trip with them!), I got sucked into the vortex of watching this old video and scrolling through these old pictures. These memories don’t make me sad, I’m trying to tap into why; thinking it’s because I question if any of it was ever authentic to begin with. In any event, I can see the hump in my back, which tells me it was prior to having 2 rods and 27 screws hammered into my spine to fuse 13 levels (due to scoliosis). It’s also nice to see how far I’ve come with photography. And cool to see that I’ve been writing here for over 7 years now… 
 
We had other plans for the summer, as I’m sure several have, but in lieu of the pandemic and in keeping with what we can do while social distancing and avoiding airplanes, we’re headed back to Bay. To make more memories. And visit more skateparks. 

 

Big Bear

February 2020 | The other day, in a rundown moment of tears, my mom suggested that I should slow things down a bit. She was referring to what one may perceive as an exhausting effort to keep these boys entertained. Only it’s so much more than that. I have no interest in telling my boys much of anything, I want to show them. And I want to show them everything. These trips, especially the ones where we get to cross off a first (ie, their first time in the snow) are my exhale. Which seems like an oxymoron because no doubt they are filled with moments I can’t seem to catch my breath. I think of it like flexing a muscle and remind myself that the tough parts are what gives it all meaning. Nothing that’s easy is lasting. Let these be the times we all go to our graves with. The memories that mold them.

That said, I’ll never go to Big Bear on a holiday weekend again. And the amount of stuff needed for the snow is just not my jam. Checked it off, moving on. And grateful for my friend Cindy who came up just for the day and didn’t complain about no parking anywhere, the long wait to sit down for lunch, or the lack of snow on the ground. That’s true friendship; a reminder that it’s the people in my life that make it rich.

The yin and yang, the crowds and the sunsets. Always something to complain about, always something to be grateful for. What you water will grow.

Springville

I have this vision in my head that I replay often, especially on the hard days, where my boys – now grown men – are sitting around the dining room table reminiscing on that time mom did what she thought was best, owned her boundaries, and still provided, showed up, explored, and put in the time, effort, and work. Maybe that’s my own ego talking; I’ve been exploring the ego more and more these days. My google searches becoming less and less about others and more and more about myself.

The memory can feel so different than the moment. Isn’t that a weird concept? How we can feel so defeated, so tired, so dirty, so uncomfortable, so overwhelmed in the moment and yet forget all of those things and look back on the accomplishment, the effort, the reward. Perhaps it’s a reminder that you get out what you put in. In any event, writing in the moment has its challenges these days and as I reflect on this trip  quite a few months after-the-fact, I’ve forgotten all about a phone call to my mom that I know I made where I told her that I didn’t think I could do it. I remember being at a restaurant and just feeling spent. No more patience, no energy left for reprimanding. And yet looking back on these images, I only see the triumph in having done it. In having gone.

And that sweet gift of Lola – who the boys were originally calling “Michael” before I notified them that she was girl. The stray cat who wouldn’t leave our side. The stray cat who now makes me question all the mean things I’ve ever said about cats and has me wondering if I may just end up that divorced mom of three grown men who now lives solo with a houseful of stray cats she’s saved. Or maybe they saved her. Plot twist. In any event, we speak of Lola as the cat that chose us; the cat who showed up and wouldn’t leave. The cat who spent the entire 5 hour drive home curled up on one of our laps. And the cat who, once home, worked her way into even Jimmie’s heart. A best friend to us all but especially to Sonny, who now completely dismisses (read: downright abuses Jimmie) in the name of only loving Lola.

At the end of the day, all the mud washed off. I mean that both literally and figuratively and I’m gonna write that on a post it and put it on my wall for a daily reminder. Right next to the taped up piece of paper that reads: Sunshine is the best disinfectant; the only way to cure the darkest parts of yourself is to shine light on them.

Previous trips to Springville: here and here.

Montana | A Day Late, A Dollar Short

It’s taken me nearly a year to post these images; I suppose for more than one reason. For starters, I have this weird blockage against posting anything that I fear being buried. I love these images, these memories, so much that the thought of them being buried by subsequent posts hurts. Some memories you want to live on forever. And secondly, there’s that little issue of time. It’s more precious than ever; running a small business gets the better of me most days and it feels like everything else falls to the wayside. I’m working on it.

That all said, on the flip side, it’s nice to look back on these images from last summer; when Sonny was so much smaller, when Van was attached to that little red cowboy hat we picked up in Wyoming, and when Hooper had more teeth. A trip shared with both family and friends, homemade communal meals, fierce political debates, and evenings on the porch swatting off mosquitos while listening to Kate and Ellen sing.

The majestic land of Montana; where the clouds hang just a little fuller, the moon shines just a little brighter, and the roads go on forever. We hope to return this summer as well.

Arizona

This space feels all but forgotten but it’s not for lack of photos or stuff to share; rather, the lack of desire. I’m too much in the thick of it to get to the root of that feeling and I don’t really care to figure it out. Plain and simply not motivated to share. But, I do want to keep this space going for my boys. Have had thoughts of making it private but I don’t really care who reads or sees any of this so I’m not sure where that urge stems from. In any event, I’m hoping to play catch up here in the next week or so. I still have images from Montana that I truthfully think I’ve put off sharing for fear of burying them; they’re some of my favorites and I hate posting on top of favorites.

In any event, these images are from our time spent up in the mountains of Arizona, in a small, sleepy ghost town. A trip that was initially planned for the Christmas holiday but rescheduled due to puking. It’s been a long winter of illness… we’re all ready to welcome spring.

Childhood Unplugged

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Please join me in supporting the other photographers participating in the Childhood Unplugged movement by clicking here to see all our submissions. You can also follow us on instagram (@childhoodunplugged) and be sure to use #childhoodunplugged for a chance to be featured on our Instagram feed.

Seattle & Alaska

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I can’t remember exactly how old I was the first and only other time that I went on a cruise. All I recall is that I won a quick $100 bucks, not sure it was legal for me to be playing or if my dad let me pull the handle when no one was looking. I was into boys. In fact, I remember having to pay my parents $100 for a 10 minute phone call I ‘secretly’ made to a boy back home. A boy that later stalked me, but that’s a separate story. In any event, it was to the Caribbean and the perks of the cruise excited me; all you could eat junk, a nightclub with fancy lights, multiple pools. All the consumerism USA that, like candy cigarettes, try to suck you in at a young age and get you hooked. As I write this, I wonder what my parents really thought of it; when I think of my parents and traveling the first image that comes to mind is my my dad naked on a rock in Yosemite. But I’m sure, like most who seem to walk the line, they figured it’d afford a little something for everyone; for my sister and I, a bit of freedom that teenagers only dream of. And for them, less whiny teenagers as a result of said freedom.

Fast forward to my early twenties when I traveled a lot; planes, trains, automobiles, mopeds… everything short of a cruise, cuz, well with my twenties came two diplomas and no career. Not that it mattered anyway, to this day my chosen mode of travel is on a budget to countries that the only thing you need to save for is airfare. Janet and I spent two weeks in India, for example, and spent a total of $500. Five. Hundred. Dollars. And much of that was spent on bus fares because I distinctly remember paying $2 / night at some places.

In any event, in celebration of forty years of marriage, Willy’s parents kindly offered to take us (and Willy’s brother’s family) on an Alaskan cruise. Let’s pause the cruise talk for a moment because 40 years of marriage really deserves a moment of silence. I’ve always felt so fortunate to have such strong examples of marriage in both my own parents and in Willy’s. His parents are two of the most kind and giving and humble and -since I’m being honest – raunchy people around (gotta love straight shooters. Well, at least I do). They still hold hands and kiss goodbye.

Nothing devalues quality time with family and this particular trip wasn’t about the cruise experience so much as it was about spending time with grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and each other. And for that and that alone I will walk off the ship with fond memories.

That said, if you subtract family and celebration from the equation, the cruise life is not for me. I found it hard to get past the forced fun and the amusement park-esqueness of it all. Getting off the ship, or trying to anyway, amongst lines of people and staff scanning badges only to be force-rushed into a picture with a man in an eagle costume gave me anxiety. The kids drew a lot of stink eyes early on from fellow cruisers that presumably sensed the threat to their peaceful retreat; one women remarked from a balcony below below how loud the kids were being and that was before the ship even started moving.

Leading up to the cruise I heard myself testifying to not being the ‘cruise type’, clinging to the hope that the Alaskan cruise is different than the rest, ‘no better way to see the glaciers’ being my cling-to-hope catch phrase. And then I boarded the ship and came upon staff dressed as lumberjacks enthusiastically dancing as if they were at a pride parade. I love a good pride parade, don’t get me wrong. In fact, we missed the one in Seattle by a day which bums me out. It all just feels like a weird pairing; chefs on floor 5 carving watermelons and pineapples into the shapes of owls and fish and birds, group jazzer size on floor 3, and glaciers and bear spotting out the right-side of ship.

I can recall visiting many of cities that would change from quiet, serene towns into an implosion of tourists as soon as the ships dock. And it always ruined it for me. I mean while the town was taken over, anyway. I felt bad being the intruder.

Toward the end, I think we all accepted it for what it was and relaxed to take in the real purpose — a celebration of love and togetherness. A tribute to the simple truth that any experience in life is made meaningful by those you spend building the memories with.

And the glaciers. I mean, they sure were incredible.

Maui

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I still identify with being a traveler and my heart still aches for the same as it did back then. I guess the only difference is that I no longer cringe at the idea of a vacation; leave it to parenthood to make you feel like you’ve earned the right to put your mother fucking feet up.

I’ve been coming to Maui since I was a little girl. I have all the typical tourist pictures buried in albums and albums of my childhood (though, to be fair, nothing close to the number of albums that would surely fill an entire room today — I’m talking about the 5 or 6 albums that basically encompass my entire childhood. And my sisters). Pictures of me dancing in luaus, biking down the volcano, holding those same parrots that are still there for the same photo op in Lahina to this day, eating ice cream under the big banyon tree, and so on and so forth. It’s the one place I feel okay going to and doing nothing but relaxing. As much relaxing as you can with kids in tow that is. Which is slim to none, really. But at least it’s in lieu of the weight of having an itinerary.

The flight was dreadful. I mean it can always be worse but there was a solid 30 minutes of screaming and for that 30 minutes you really didn’t know what way the remaining 5 hours were going to go. Hooper and Van’s demands and whines were extra loud; think of those people with head phones on that talk at the volume they can hear, which is louder than it needs to be because whatever they’re listening in their headphones is already loud. That was them. I NEED TO GO POO. I WANT MY GOLDFISH. HOOPER HIT ME. VAN WON’T SHARE. Combined with screaming Sonny and less-than-helpful or tolerant, for that matter, flight attendants, and Willy and I both considered just opening that giant door and jumping. Sonny fell asleep the minute the wheels hit the ground. Because life sometimes gives you the finger.

But flights are never easy. And there’s little reason to bitch because we recognize our privilege. We also recognize why my parents, who met us there, opted to go on a separate flight.

We stayed at the same place we’ve stayed every time we’ve visited, a condo complex mixed with vacationers and those who have made the sleepier south side of Maui home. And we quickly adopted our routine; beach in the morning, lunch on the way home, pool time while Sonny napped, and dinner in or out. The same, on repeat, for all the days we were there; with only a break here or there to venture into Paia, our favorite little town. No trips to Hana, though we love it there and will go when Sonny is a bit easier to manage. No overpriced luaus, no sunset cruises, just beach, eat, pool, sleep. On repeat. It was great.

The flight home was much of the same and nearly washed away any remaining aloha vibes. Making my pitch to Willy to travel with the kids to Asia all the harder. But in the end, I always think it’s worth it. Because, well, memories. And the best trip, in my opinion, is when you can insert a little vacationing with a little travel. Thus, my pitch for Asia. Trying to wrap my head around that flight though… Who wants to babysit Sonny?

Childhood Unplugged

San clemente family photographer-9144 San clemente family photographer-9150 San clemente family photographer-9181 San clemente family photographer-9186 San clemente family photographer-9210 San clemente family photographer-9237 San clemente family photographer-9277 San clemente family photographer-9278 San clemente family photographer-9240San clemente family photographer-9217 San clemente family photographer-9284 San clemente family photographer-9306 San clemente family photographer-9353 San clemente family photographer-9343 San clemente family photographer-9364 San clemente family photographer-9372There’s much to be said about the light in the Pacific Northwest. But there’s even more to be said about an evening, with 6 kids, that went better than any script we could have wrote. None of the usual tantrums or whining or fights. Just kids playing late into the long summer night; complete with pizza and ice cream and all the things we could throw at them to keep them busy and contained. Kids being kids, forming friendships and bonds and memories with my dearest friend’s kids. It doesn’t get better. Long live summer. Also wishing said dearest friend the happiest of birthdays today. Happy Birthday, J. Love you. 

Please join me in supporting the other photographers participating in the Childhood Unplugged movement by clicking here to see all our submissions. You can also follow us on instagram (@childhoodunplugged) and be sure to use #childhoodunplugged for a chance to be featured on our Instagram feed.

A Road Trip | Arizona

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Even three kids deep, I feel like we are still learning so many of the basics of parenthood; like the freedom in forging our own paths and molding new traditions. For the last few years it’s felt like the holidays have brought a lot of fumbles, like they creep up so fast and take over before a plan ever gets formulated. Throw in the unpredictability of my hospital work schedule (I’m required to work one major holiday but do not get the official schedule until the being of December) and it’s easy to let the season grab us by the proverbial balls. So it felt nice this year to try something new and combine a bit of family with a bit of adventure. And so, we hit up a few towns in Arizona before making our way to Willy’s parent’s house outside of Phoenix.

We were able to take off a few days earlier than expected due to a last minute change in my hospital work schedule. So we got the last of our shop orders out, threw the final things in the truck, and headed to the town of Prescott to visit Willy’s old boss who has retired there. We watched the temperature drop from the 60s here in California (which to-be-fair is freezing by California standards) all the way to the low 30s as we made our way into Prescott. We spent time exploring the downtown and stayed at the historic St. Michael hotel, right on the corner at the end of Whiskey Row. If only you could safely leave sleeping children in a hotel room. Despite the cold temperatures, we walked quite a bit; I could feel my jeans get cold each time I took a step as they separated from my body only to return with a cold bite. The boys rocked jackets over t-shirts, refusing to wear any of the adorable knit sweaters I brought for them (luckily I hadn’t removed any tags. Ho hum.) and Sonny stayed bundled up in one of those zip up fleece onesies that had him looking – and I’m sure feeling – like the kid from A Christmas Story. And poor Van, sporting two left shoes for the entirety of our trip. At least they matched.

The trees in the center of downtown were all lit, a scarf wrapped around the base of most with the sweetest handwritten notes reading sentiments like, “take me, if you’re cold”. A town filled with lovely people, beautiful turquoise, and so much Christmas cheer it was hard to not stay and enjoy what ended up being 6 inches of snow on Christmas Eve.

But alas, we headed through the mountains to the town of Jerome. A super small mining town that boasts having once been the fourth largest city in Arizona but nowadays is more well known for its ghost tours; The Grand Hotel having once been a hospital that served as the end of the line for many of the miners that contracted TB.

We stayed at a historic home that arguably has a more captivating history than the town itself. Built in 1898 to house mining executives, then sold to a family of five who survived the mudslide in the 1950s that completely destroyed the majority of the home. The floor rolled up and tangled with heaps of mud until 2013, when the home was completely renovated back to it’s original glory. And when I say original glory, I’m talking original wood burning stove glory. Complete with the added battle-wound-markers, like the plaques that are found throughout the home to show just how high the mud reached. And heaps of framed photos documenting the restoration process. A process that had to be none other than a labor of love seeing just how difficult it was to drive our pickup truck up its windy steep path, let alone the machinery needed for that kind of construction.

It wasn’t a bad place to be stuck when a stomach bug took a few of us down. The tree swing proving a peaceful retreat during the breaks in the storm that came sweeping through and made staying in, despite illness, somewhat enjoyable. A break in the travel go-see-do mentality.

We spent the better part of a day driving through Sedona and stopped at Arcosanti on the way to Chandler, where Willy’s family lives. And from that point on it’s kind of a blur, with too many Christmas shenanigans to count and the mound of new toys making my head spin. The best kind of blur, I suppose.

We made it back just before the New Year and were greeted with rain, which for those in California is so coveted these days. The perfect way to ease back into the whirlwind that is everyday life. Unpacking, laundry, sorting, donating, regrouping. And, just like that, the calendar flips, one year ends, another begins, and life goes on.

Baja

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The border crossing was our most eventful yet. Flooding the border were hundreds of Monguls, the border police scampering to herd them like cattlemen corralling sheep. Only the cattlemen had assault rifles and the sheep were anything but, well, sheep. And for whatever reason we got lumped in with them, Willy’s tattoos – perhaps – causing concern enough to subject us to a thorough search. If you saw my post on Instagram, you know Willy’s balls took a few days to recover. I asked to take Sonny out of the backseat so I could feed him and a few of the border policemen actually made a barrier to protect me while I opened the door and took Sonny out. As if there was going to be a gun battle. It was crazy. After some questioning they realized we had no affiliation and basically told us, nicely, to get lost. And we did.

We visited our regular haunts, returning to the same restaurant we frequented the last time we were in the area; the waitress as happy as ever to scoop a not-so-little Sonny back up into her arms to parade around the restaurant as if he were her own. The boys, impatiently waiting their turn for the pool table where they crash balls into each other and where we buy a round of beer for the few patrons that have to put up with such. Where the fish is fresh, the drinks strong. And where one night we forgot to bring cash (because, Mexico) and had our bill taken care of by two nice gentlemen we had seen eating there the night before.

We spent one afternoon just driving and exploring, making our way down dirt roads and pot-hole-ridden back roads, weaving in and out of the outskirts of downtown Ensenada. Trying our best to teach the boys that there are so many different ways to live. That while some are poor and live without many of the niceties they’re used to that there’s still life and love and happiness. Hoping that one day they will feel the gratitude I know Willy and I both feel for the lives we live. That they will feel and experience the same warmth from giving.

Sunsets on the beach turning the wet sand into glass, their little shell-collecting-bodies reflected so beautifully. Days spent at a pace slower than we’re used to, the door open, flies roaming in and out as if invited, and Sonny – sweet Sonny – happy as pie to be anywhere we are all together.

We’re hoping to do another trip south of the border soon, adding a few more stops and towns along the way.

You can view images from our last trip here and the family video I made by clicking here.

Springville

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It got me thinking about what I do value. Not that I hadn’t evaluated such prior to now, but in that moment I couldn’t think of what my equivalent to his Rolex would be. I thought about the things I own and the price tags attached and all I could come up with was camera equipment, which truthfully speaking is an avenue of income and therefore doesn’t really count.

And then I thought about what I asked for for my birthday because surely birthdays are special and gifts for such are typically heartfelt. I asked for a trip; nothing fancy, just a weekend away with all of us together. And on my birthday I unwrapped a little box that contained a folded up piece of paper with a picture of a renovated barn on it.

Experiences, memories, and even the hard, trying times that come with traveling with littles are what make my heart pitter patter. And so, over summer (man I’m reminded of how behind I am on sharing stuff here), in celebration of my birthday, we loaded up the van and headed up to Springville, at the base of the Sequoias, with no plans in particular because, well, itineraries – and the people who make them – scare me.
We stopped at Walmart once we got into town, stocking up on breakfast items, a few snacks, and some fishing rods for the boys. Fishing rods we’d grow to detest in due time. I met Willy and the boys in the store after having fed Sonny in the car and upon walking into the ginormous store, I heard Willy screaming for Van. A few seconds after that I heard the announcement that a blond boy, in a black shirt, was lost and to keep an eye out. There is no feeling that can adequately describe the feeling of potentially having lost your child or, worse yet, having your child taken from you. I made a dash for the exit and frantically scoured the parking lot. I came back into the store, heard “code Adam canceled”, and found the boys; my heart trying hard to settle back to it’s ordinary position in my chest.

Down a dirt road, past a field of cows, we came up on the barn; the outside adorned with cobwebs and scorpions, the inside eclectic and kitchy.

We ate that night at a roadside dive bar; the kind of place you have to poke your head in and ask if kids are even allowed and when they tell you they are you’re directed to a table, the only table, in the corner of the bar. A bar filled only with locals. A bar we entered knowing no one and left knowing everyone, thanks really and truly to Willy, who is always the social butterfly of our clan. Not to mention the parting gifts we received, including fresh grapes from someones local vineyard and a tip on the trees the neighboring llamas enjoy most. We fed the llamas before heading down to the lake, the sun setting just behind the mountain as we got there.

We returned to the lake the next day, the 110 degree weather causing us to want to turn around nearly as soon as we got there. We settled in anyway, a few cold beers and some good tunes allowing us to sink our feet into the mud and forget, momentarily anyway, about how miserable triple digit weather can be. Unphased by the weather or the muggy water, the boys broke out their fishing poles, played with the worms, and practiced their casting. A thousand tangled lines and hundreds of lost bait later had us questioning Walmart’s return policies. And truthfully I thought it was all fun and games until Hooper came running up from the shoreline, a small fish dangling from the end of his line. Pride beaming from every orafice of his being and jaw dropping bewilderment on the faces of Willy and I. And tears, oh the jealous tears, streaming from Van’s eyes. Willy has the best picture on his phone of Hooper holding his treasured fish and Van, in the background, crying a cry that would lead one to believe a shark bit his hand off. Classic moments in brotherhood.

We returned to the lake later in the evening; the boys with a new found excitement about fishing and a new found determination to catch another. Chasing the dragon, if you will. Which, as life would have it, didn’t work out a second time. But there were frogs and they proved to be a welcomed distraction.

The following day we had intentions of making the short drive up the mountain and into the Sequoias as, truthfully, being amongst the trees is more what I had envisioned when we initially planned our trip. The road up the mountain, however, looked more like the way a drunk man would draw a straight line if blindfolded and using his non-dominant hand. Point being, it was a super winding road and given Hooper’s history with yacking – the latest culprit being the mere turnabouts in downtown Tijuana – we opted to skip the trees and head for another body of water instead.

We’re not the best planners and by the time we got out the door the following morning, it was verging on nap time, aka our-saving-grace, and so leaving when we did truly was a gamble. There were more tangled lines, this time accompanied with more tears and whining from Van (who needs a nap like a banker needs money). Not even a small catfish found on the end of his line, that Willy caught in an attempt to level the I-caught-my-first-fish playing field (and much to my dismay because hey, you win some and you lose some / life lessons) could brighten his day. We hung on for as long as we could before packing up and keeping our fingers crossed that we’d make it back in time to at least get an hour of downtime. And we did. Actually I found Hooper (who thankfully agreed to a nap despite it not being a part of his regular routine these days) curled up in the pack-n-play we brought for Sonny. Oh my mama heart…

That evening we returned to the same bar we had fell in love with prior; the food nothing to write home about but the faces familiar, the welcome warm, the beer cold, and the tunes spot on. We got to talking to two young cowboys and the boys were all kinds of impressed to see the videos of them riding bulls. Hooper requested a picture with them and of course I obliged. We hung with the locals, mostly transplants from other areas of California, while the boys flung the pool balls about and attempted to befriend the llamas out back.

We left in the morning. Our last adventure before the dreaded, though not-so-dreaded, start of school. But more dreaded than not dreaded because summer has our hearts.