My Everyday
Needless to say, my left turn signal is almost always on every time I start my car, as are my brights and my hazard lights. That kid could spend all day in the car.
Brothers
There was a point in time, mostly around the holidays, that you guys could not keep your hands off one another. I think a lot of it, in hindsight, had to do with all the gifts and new toys. Too many things to fight over. Hooper, you liked to do this drop kick maneuver that inevitably ended with you on top of Van. You guys were at each other non-stop; biting, pushing, shoving, toy-stealing, hair pulling… it seemed ending. You both had battle wounds to show for it; bite marks, bruises, and even some missing tufts of hair. The last few weeks, however, have been much smoother and you guys actually seem to be enjoying one another.
Van, you get jealous when Hooper and I cuddle. You also do not like sharing my lap with Hooper when I read you guys a book.
You like to “cheers” your cups together, Van more so than Hooper.
You have screaming contests. It’s awesome when you do this in public.
Hooper, you see it as your duty to reprimand Van. When I tell Van to stop or scold him, you are quick to jump in and hit him.
Van, your defense is pulling Hooper’s hair. I’ve considered shaving Hooper’s head because it looks so painful.
Every now and again, I’ll catch you guys playing in a room peacefully. My heart practically beats out of my chest when I overhear you, Hooper, teaching your brother something or directing him in some way or another. More and more you guys are becoming friends and it’s a beautiful thing to watch unfold. There are even times, as shown above, that you even – dare I say – console your little brother.
Tomorrow he'll move mountains
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
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I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
-Bob Dylan
Malibu Creek
Oh there is something to be said for allowing time for boys to be boys. Skipping rocks, collecting sticks, dirt under the nails… it’s all part of childhood and it’s such a beautiful thing. I still need help getting the boys to and fro, but
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regardless, it’s been so nice to be feeling better and getting out a little bit more. I feel as though I’ve been hiding under a rock for the last few months and I much prefer skipping rocks into the creek instead.
Van @ 18 Months
Growth & Appearance: You’re still a big kid. You look like a 2 year old but waddle like an 18 month old. Your hair is blond and thick. We shave it often. Currently you have a scab on your knee and a scratch of unknown origin the side of your right eye. We can no longer leave you in just a diaper because you take it off every time. Even with shorts on the other day, I saw you trying to pull the thing off. Not sure that it’s quite time to potty train; I think you just like to be naked.
You have all your teeth, next ones should be the two year molars.
You wear a size 2T clothes / PJ’s, size 6 shoes, size 4 diapers.
Eating: You’re a tank. You love to eat and waddle as fast as you can over to your high chair as soon as you see food being made. Sometimes you require a snack just to shut you up until the food is ready to be put in front of you. You prefer to have a fork in your hand and are okay at using a spoon, but more times than not you use your hands because you can shovel it in faster.
You’ve consumed entire meals before your brother takes his first bite.
You love blueberries, cereal, carrots, cheese, oatmeal, banana… who am I kidding… there’s really not anything that you don’t like. You love eating ice.Sleeping: You’re still taking two naps a day. You wake up around 8:30 and nap around 10:30 for two hours. You nap again in the afternoon around 4:30 for an hour and a half or so. You’re not the most fun to be around on the days where you miss your nap.
We’re hoping to switch you over to the bottom bunk. We took you out of the crib and you are now sleeping in a big boy bed in your own room. Eventually we hope to put you and Hooper in the same room. You’ve transitioned out of the crib okay but nap time is more like whack-a-mole. We’ll keep at it, with fingers crossed. You love your blanket, as well as your stuffed animals. But your blanket is a must.
You still suck your thumb and put on your “hand hat” when you’re tired.
Talking: You say a ton of words and communicate well. The other day you handed me your empty sippy cup, asked for my “hand”, told me to “come”, and led me straight to the fridge where you pointed at your sippy cup and whined. You just started saying “thank you”, which is the first time you’ve put two words together. You also say “pee” for “please” and “side” when you want to go outside. Every time we go over a speed bump, you say “bump”.
You follow directions well.
Development: You started a little gym class and go with the nanny since I’m still unable to lift you. She says you’re the tallest in your class and you do well with everything. The balls, she says, are your favorite.
You join in on the bike rides by pushing your feed off the pavement as opposed to pedaling. Your shoes are all warn in from where you push off and one time, when you went out without shoes, you came in with wounds on your big toes from pushing. It won’t be long until you can reach the pedals.
Your laugh is as hearty as can be and seems to come from deep down in your belly. You love to be around laughter and occasionally snort when you laugh; it’s adorable.
You love being chased.
Perhaps it’s a second child thing, but you definitely have a sense of what is yours (of what you want to be yours) and refer to things as “mine”, accompanied with a whine and / or cry.
You’ve discovered that the computer is pretty cool and I can no longer sit at my desk without you climbing onto my lap. Sometimes you simply want to draw with a pen, other times you want to smack all the keys on the keyboard, and other times you request to watch a video on YouTube (you love the Fox Song and any nursery rhyme and all the truck / fire engine videos that your bro loves).
You love to steal my pen and get pissed anytime I’m writing with one and won’t hand it over.
Following in the footsteps of your brother, you love to do what we’ve coined as “the grandfather” (where you walk around hunched over and shuffle your feet like a little old man) and “fancy feet” (where you stomp your feet back and forth in quick succession).
You refuse to go down steps by yourself and ask for one of our hands to hold. You finally did it by yourself the other day, but it took a lot of coaxing.
Favorites: You love to have books read to you over and over and over again. Your favorites are “Goodnight Moon”, “I Know An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly”, and any beginner books that has cars or trucks. You ask me to sit and then plant your little bottom in my lap constantly. You’re fascinated anytime a police car or fire truck goes by with their sirens on and you could sit behind the wheel and pretend to drive the car all day long. You also love to put your hands under the facet in the bathroom. And, of course, you love cars.
A day with my best friend, part I
They don’t come often enough, I’ll tell ya. Anyone who has suffered from having a best friend in another state knows my pain. It’s that struggle between feeling overwhelmingly grateful that you have them and simultaneously down-right angry that you don’t have them close by.
My Everyday
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do
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that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Van @ 15+16 Months
Growth & Appearance: You gained a lot of teeth over this last month. I have yet to take official inventory for fear of my fingers lives, but I believe you have all your molars and canines. I pretty sure you spent the two weeks I was in the hospital teething, so at some point you owe your Papa an apology for your sour moods.
At your well-baby check-up this month you weighed 26.5 lbs and were in the 98th percentile for height. According to the doc, you’re on track to be 6’4 200 lbs. It’s weird to think of you being taller than me.
Eating: I love that we’re more laid back with your eating. We pay more attention to what you eat over the course of a week as opposed to a single day. When you’re teething, especially, you don’t eat much. You may skip an entire meal. But the following day you seem to be a bottomless pit. So, we remain laid back. There’s no tricking you into eating more anyhow, when you’re done you’re done and you get pissed when we try to tell you differently.
You hold your cup up for a solid “cheers” several times throughout a meal.
You’re still drinking whole milk and you eat everything we give you.
You don’t even look at your food before filling the palm of your hand and shoving it in your mouth. As soon as you know food is being made, you walk over to your high chair and start whining saying, “chair, chair”.
Sleeping: You’re a fantastic sleeper. You wake up around 8:30am, nap from 10:30 to 1:15pm, then again from 4-6pm, and go to bed around 8:30pm. We’re talking about moving you and your brother into the same room and I’m hoping your sleep pattern doesn’t suffer as a result. It’s out plan to move you out of the crib and into bunk beds with your brother so we can put all your toys in a room and call it a playroom.
You wake up happy, always.
Talking: You know a ton of words. Papa and I understand much of what you say, but to other’s I’m pretty sure it sounds like a foreign language. Words we understand: hot, help, down, done, sit, come, broom, outside, car, truck, cookie, dog, trash, thank you, cheers.
If you’re not able to use your “words”, you whine. And you whine a lot. Between your limited vocabulary, your whining, and your directing us by pulling or pointing, it’s pretty clear what you want. You’re a good, though relentless, communicator in that sense.
Development: I probably should have noted this last month, but boy have you discovered the world above you. A plane does not fly overhead that you don’t notice.
You are determined to get what you want and show your emotions when things don’t go your way. Toddlerhood seems to be just around the corner.
You know where your ears, hair, head, belly, and eyes are. For whatever reason, you’re having a hard time with your nose.
Your personality is fun and you’re always looking to laugh. I’ll even catch you mid-meltdown, make a funny face, and your tears will quickly turn to smiles and laughter.
You yell to get what you want. I suppose this is typical second child antics. When you finish your milk, for example, you wave your cup up in the air and shriek until someone takes it from you to refill.
You’re able to jump off your two feet.
You love to pick up trash and bring it to the trash can.
Favorites: You love to mimic Hooper. You watch everything he does and try your hardest to replicate. And so, you love stacking the toy cars on top of one another. You’re more into the cars than ever before.
You also love the “Fox Song” and drag us over to the computer often repeating “fox” over and over again.
You love your toy broom and dust pan and anything else your brother is playing with. And your giraffe… You ride that thing around the entire block. It’s on it’s last leg.
Portraits of my children
“The only person you
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are destined to become is the person you decide to be”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Pumpkin Patch
I’m tellin’ y’all, if I could have taken the kids to a Christmas tree lot before my surgery, I would have. As luck would have it, our favorite pumpkin patch opened its doors a few weeks before my surgery. We took the kids on a weekday and practically had the place to ourselves. We rode the ponies, pet the goats and sheep, ran down aisle after aisle of big round pumpkins, and came home with some fresh picked strawberries.
Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween.
Brothers
Hooper, you’ve taken to holding Van’s hand and leading him around. I’m not gonna lie, I couldn’t wait for Van to walk for the pure joy of watching you walk side by side. It really is a beautiful thing.
When you’re not holding hands, you two are at each other constantly. Hooper, you’re lucky you’re still bigger than your soon-to-be little-big-bro because one of these days he’s going to tackle you. And I may even pretend not to see. You can be so mean at times; biting him, grabbing his arm with all your might (note photo above with your teeth clinched n’ all), pushing him (especially from behind when he has no idea it’s coming), and taking every toy away that he manages to get his hands on. Some days it’s just easier to put on Curious George so we can all have a moment of peace.
Van, you copy everything Hooper does. If he’s fixing his wheel with a hammer, as soon as you can get that hammer, you’ll bend down and mimic exactly what Hooper was doing. You really idolize your big brother and take so much pride in doing the things he does.
Hooper, you like to “help” wash Van in the bathtub. This consists of rubbing soap on his back and dumping water on his head. It’s really a big “help”.
Hooper, you love to hold Van’s cheeks in your hands and say “ca-uuuuut”. You also enjoy giving him a hug and a kiss every night before bed.
Portraits of my children
“Promise me you’ll always remember: you are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”
-Christopher Robin to Pooh Bear
The weekend before
The final days before my surgery felt like a mad-dash. You know the feeling, right? Like I had to squeeze in all I could, filling every crevice of time with something real, something meaningful. My surgery had been weighing on my mind so heavily that I really hadn’t anticipated life after recovery, my brain frozen in time, my calendar cleared with the words “recovery” written in month after month.
So we celebrated my dad and sister’s birthday early, down in Ventura. It was a warm October day, the time of year when the Santa Susana winds howl wildly and the air feels like someone with hot breath is breathing on you. My sister and I took the kids down to the water’s edge where Hooper made cakes out of sand and Van gave himself a sand beard.
And as the last of the light shined in I realized another day had passed and that meant my surgery would be another day closer. The impending feeling of doom, the ambiguity of what would be, all the uncertainty made better only by the company of family and
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