A Maternity / Family Session & Interview, with Jessica Kraus

Because sometimes one interview isn’t enough… (You can read the first one here)
Tell us a bit about this pregnancy thus far.
Well it’s been, for the most part, pretty pleasant. Other than the kidney stone issues during the second trimester, It’s been just as enjoyable as each of my experiences prior. Though I should say that I do have preventative cerclages (stitching the cervix closed) placed early on with all of my pregnancies (aside from the first) so there’s that to deal with, but it’s a simple procedure and they typically remove the stitch around 38 weeks. With Leon I was put on a couple months of bedrest to help ward off preterm labor issues I was dealing with – which was downright tortuous – so anything outside of that really kinda pales in comparison.  
How pissed are you that you can’t drink beer? Really though, admittedly, I had a beer or two while pregnant. I don’t think it’s a big deal. But how pissed are you that you can’t drink a lot of beer?
I think it’s always harder for me in the beginning. I really like beer and typically tend to drink more in the summertime so it’s an abrupt end to that aspect of your social life, but I’m fine now. Plus I’ve replaced that vice with Chocolate, so all is well. But I can’t say I won’t be pretty darn happy to see margarita in my lap at some point after the baby, when the weather warms up. 
I read an article about how strangers like to give you advice when they know you’re pregnant with your first but by the time you’re pregnant beyond your fourth that those same strangers look at you more dumbfounded because they now realize you probably know a lot more than them. How’s that for a run-on sentence? Have you experienced this?
I’ve had my fair share of advice tossed my way but it’s never bothered me. Some of it has even been incredibly useful. But yes, by this stage no one is offering any life changing tips or suggestions by way of child reaering. Choosing to have four children these day totally mystifies a lot of people. We get that “look” regularly, and the typical congratulatory remarks feel a bit different with each pregnancy, but, I get it. A big family is not for everyone. Mike and I were always set on wanting three kids, four was a loose “maybe”, but in the end we decided to make a go for it. I mean, really, what’s one more kid at this point? Our home is already constantly a messy, chaotic, loud madhouse most days but it’s what we love. There is never a dull moment and as grueling and exhausting as it feels at times, it’s a hundred precent worth it. Always. 
With four kiddos, I’m assuming you have to rock a full on mom-mobile. Do you feel any less cool yet? I suppose you will. Just kidding. I’m pretty certain you can make a minivan look cool.
I honestly could care less about new cars. Anyone who knows me would attest to that. I’ve never cared about my daily driver and I likely never will. I just want anything that will cart around as many people as possible and be dependable and get us to the beach. I hate picking out new cars more than anything though, so it might take awhile. It’s the old cars we love. The weekend joyrides that we hold dear to us, so as long as we have something cool to make our breakfast runs in, I’m happy.   
I had intentions of co-sleeping, but it just didn’t work for us. Both of my boys, as well as my husband and I, slept better in our own beds. Do you have a plan for sleeping arrangements?
Oh gosh, I am super strict when it comes to kids and their sleep schedules. Only because with each baby I realized more and more how vital my own sleep became to all of our well being. Having them in bed with me meant I wasn’t getting good solid sleep, so while I do love a newborn sleeping beside our bed for the first 2 or 3 months, I usually try and get a patterned sleep schedule established as soon as possible. I mean, let’s be honest, naps save sanity. It’s the only time I get anything done so it’s crucial. Plus as much as I love to cuddle and lay with them in bed, I also take pride in watching my babies fall in love with and gain security in their own sleep space. Listening to them coo and talk themselves to sleep is my favorite. All of my boys loved their cribs, and their naps (up until recently) And I like having the bedroom to ourselves as a couple at a certain point too.  
I assume your fourth baby must just fall out of you, right? Kidding
Yah, that’s about right. I’ve had ridiculously easy labors so I am expecting this one to just about “fall out”. Rex was born within an hour of arriving at the hospital, and the others not much longer. Knock on wood this one follows suit.   
Hooper was 9 lbs. and Van was 9 lbs 8 oz. I’ve heard they get bigger, and thus, I’m scared to have a third. How big were your first three?
Arlo was born a month early and weighed just over 6lbs, Leon was a little over 7 lbs and Rex was 8 lbs even, so I guess they do keep getting bigger.  
How much to you think Rex will help with the baby? That was a joke. Don’t comment. I’ll bet Arlo could lend a helping hand though, no? 
We try not to think about Rex with an infant too much. The last time he played “peek-a-boo” with my friend’s baby girl he sent her into a fit of hysterics. He’s . . . um, quite intense, so maybe seeing his brothers be calm and gentle might help? We’ll see. Arlo, though, he’s a lot of help and Leon too. They’re going to be amazing with a baby I think.
I think there’s a lot of pressure out there, partly due to blogs and social media, to hold ourselves to unmatchable mom standards; to breastfeed f o r e v e r and only feed our kids food we grow in our own gardens and to homeschool and so on and so forth. Can you speak briefly to these pressures and how you manage to sell yourself on the fact you rock as a mom? Because, really, we all rock as moms…
I don’t get too caught up in all that. And I try to never pass judgment on my end either. I’ve always said, we’re all in this together. Everyone loves their kid(s) A LOT, and at the end of the day we’re all doing the best we can. Some things work for different families and households and I just find it very unfortunate when women allow themselves to stand so divided because of differing parenting views. It’s hard work, we should all be more embracing and encouraging of one another. Luckily I’ve been able to surround myself with a few ladies who feel the same way so the support helps tremendously. Also, the more kids you have the more you start to really cling to: “don’t sweat the small stuff’ type credo. Some days you just roll with it and know tomorrow is a new day and things turn around pretty damn quick. No matter how trying it feels at the moment.  
I don’t give advice to new moms other than to remind them that what feels permanent is most always temporary. What advice, if any, do you offer to new moms?
Trust your instincts. And learn to laugh about the plights you are faced with daily. My boys drive me insane constantly throughout the day, but most of the time I think the trials are hilarious. There is humor in all of it. And really, it’s such a fleeting time. You blink and your babies turn into boys and boys into men. Goes by way too fast. . .
Before you became a mother, how many children did you envision yourself having?
From age 4-8 I claimed I was going to have twelve babies. I drew pictures and named them all. Then, when I was around ten, I became much more practical and decided on six. Six was my number for a long time. I’m at four now, but everybody knows Rex already counts as two (maybe three), so . . . 
Your boys are nappers. So are mine. I always envisioned myself being a “carefree” mom who could give two shits about schedules. But, when the boys miss their naps there is hell to pay and you better believe I’m the one that has to flip the bill. In hopes that you hold all the answers, tell me how you balance structure with non-structure; routine with spontaneity.
We just do. 75 precent of the time we rely on specific lunch hours and nap times, ect, but there are days I just throw it all out the window because of whatever we have planned. Sometimes it’s awful and I regret it and sometimes they pull through and it all works out. I’ve learned to just go, and not worry too much about the day’s possible outcome. Otherwise we’d probably never leave the house. I mean, they do do much better when they’re rested.
A babysitter just showed up at your front door and volunteered to watch the kids. How do you and Mike spend your evening?
Oh easy. Mexican food, margarita and a movie.
Not that the right tune takes away the pain or makes the pushing easier, but do you have a labor tunes playlist? I had fun making CD after CD but as soon as those contractions started, I wanted to tell James Taylor to kiss my ass. It was fun making them anyway and I suppose it helped me envision a beautiful, magical, music-playing-baby-slipping-right-out birth; even though that vision was all far from the truth. I digress, are you making a labor tunes playlist?
No, I won’t be making any playlists. Like I said, I deliver quick and I’m done. I want to go home immediately. We both do. After Rex was born I was ready for champagne and was (irrationally) fantasizing about going out to dinner. Seriously, it felt like a party, so there’s not much down time. We get to the hospital, have a baby and start begging for release soon there after. The last time we went home after ten hours and we were grateful. But this time I might not push too hard, a little quite time away from the boys, to get to know the new baby sounds kind of dreamy now that I sit and consider it more.  
Some women write up elaborate birth plans that they hand over to the nurse in the hospital. I’ve even read about some moms writing up a sort of contract that they have their doctors sign. I’ve heard of other moms who simply show up to the hospital and tell the nursing staff to take good care of them and leave all the decision making to someone else. I had planned on a home birth, so when I ended up in the hospital I gave one instruction: please don’t offer me an epidural (I greatly regretted this decision – in the moment – when I was clinching my teeth and yelling at anyone in the room to apply counter pressure). Do you have a plan or a vision, rather, of how you would like things to go? If so, paint us a picture.
I just hope it goes as smoothly as the first three. They were all great, stress free experiences so I’ll be lucky if things happen the same way with this one. No birth plan, or instructions. You’ve met me. I’m not the most organized person in the world. Lists are just not my thing.  
Briefly touch on post-partum body image. I always dreamed of imagining myself pregnant, frolicking around in a field of tall grass, not a care in the world. When I became pregnant, I watched as my body changed and I felt that little sense of impending doom — like I would never be the same. I’ve come to terms since and – though I have a long wishlist, just like anyone else – I don’t hate my body or the way it’s changed. Tell me about your experience. 
Well, I don’t mind the changes in body during pregnancy. I enjoy being pregnant so that doesn’t phase me, but have to say that with each baby, it’s been harder and harder to fully “bounce back.” Weight wise, I tend to loose the weight easy enough, but it’s muscle tone that’s mostly affected. Meaning I have to really work a little harder at getting back to where I’m happy with my body after each baby. And the older you get the harder it is as well, so I know now to truly savor all the indulgences I allow while pregnant. It will all have to end soon enough. And then it’s all back to salads and light beer. Counting calories and skipping doughnuts.
JESSICA KRAUS | Blog | Etsy | Instagram

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A Maternity Session, with Anne Rivera

Please, introduce yourself to my readers.

Hi, my name is Anne. I’m married to my best friend Ruben and mom to our four (soon to be five) wonderful children. I’m a macrame and music enthusiast, thrift store lover, a somewhat lazy blogger and an etsy shop owner.

Where were you born and raised?

 

I was born and raised in Orange County, Ca.

Is it crazy to ask a Mama like yourself, pregnant with your fifth babe, if you plan on having anymore?

 

Well, no. None of our children were planned so I suppose it’s never a crazy question. That being said I honestly don’t feel like my body could take another pregnancy. I don’t mind giving birth and I love the kids but being pregnant is not something I necessarily enjoy.

How messy is your house? I mean, seriously, there’s soon-to-be five of them.  

 

Hmm, well it’s certainly not a museum! The downstairs is usually pretty picked up. I vacuum nearly every day and typically save a full tidying up for the evening before my husband gets home, otherwise I’d be picking up all day long. The upstairs has a tendency to be messier but I really try to keep things somewhat orderly because a full blown mess is upsetting to my mental state.  We don’t have a ton of toys as I routinely go through them and donate what doesn’t get played with. I think the best way to keep a handle on it is to have a place for everything (I’m still working on that!) and to not have a lot of excess and multiples.

Your style is on point. Will you dress me? 

 

Sure! Your body type looks good in anything!

No, really. Please, pick out some clothes for me.

Since 95% of my wardrobe is thrifted we’ll have to make a thrifting date 🙂

Quick! Five tips for the thrifts.

 

1. Look in every section. Things get put down randomly all over the stores so you never know what could be hiding in an unexpected area.
2. You have to go often.
3. Know that you aren’t going to find something amazing every time. It’s hit or miss for everyone.
4. I usually will go in with a few things in mind. When you’re keeping an eye out for something in particular it’s easier to find.
5. Go without kids if you can 🙂

Your home is decorated so lovely. Can I have the rug in your living room? I joke. Really though, is most everything thrifted? 

 

Oh, thank you! The rugs were hand-me-down’s from Dad actually. He and my Step mom bought them in the southwest a long time ago and when they moved to the house they’re in now they didn’t use them. They sat in the closet for years until I asked if they were interested in making me very happy by giving them to me. They did!  Other than that, most of the decorative things are thrifted and the furniture is store bought. I’m still holding out on art until I find pieces that I’m in love with. I’d rather stare at a blank wall than a painting or photograph that is only there temporarily.

Describe a typical weekend at your house.

 

Loud.

How did you and your husband meet? 

 

We met through mutual friends but coincidentally worked two doors down from each other. He had come in to eat at the restaurant I worked at and noticed me. A few weeks later I came into the store he was managing to buy a shirt for New Years Eve and he came over to help me. After I left I put two and two together and realized he was the guy my friend kept telling me about. A couple weeks later I was with said friend and we went to go see his band play. We ended up missing their set but when he and I walked past each other and met eyes we said something like, “oh, hey it’s you!”. That was 15+ years ago and we’ve pretty much been together since.

Tell me about your husband’s band. 

 

He sings and plays guitar in a band called Bordertown Saints. Classifying bands can be tricky…he said they are Americana. It’s my favorite band he’s been in thus far. His songwriting has definitely blossomed over these past 3 or 4 years.

Describe the girl you were in high school.

 

Let’s see…I was definitely not a popular girl. I was similar to how I am now in many ways. I had a good group of friends and we went to A LOT of concerts and local shows. I still have most of my concert ticket stubs. I was pretty quiet, didn’t date many people and wasn’t overly interested in school. I started thrifting in high school and had some really amazing clothes that I unfortunately got rid of my senior year when I became gothic. I still apologize to my parents for putting them through those two years. They were dark days indeed 🙂

I want to eat Marianne. Can I?

 

Sure! She’d probably let you 😉

I read that you’re into eating raw. How about the other members of your gang? I have a hard enough time getting Hooper to eat chicken nuggets, not sure what he’d do if I changed it up so drastically. Advise me.

 

I’m no expert but I think a lot has do with what their first foods were. My oldest son Max was fed as advised by the pediatrician (baby cereal and jarred baby food) and he is by far my least adventurous eater. The rest of my children were fed what we ate and lots of fresh fruit and I find they are more open to raw foods. Shane and Marianne grew up drinking green smoothies and many of my raw recipes so they will typically eat what I make or at least try it. If they have no other option except what you place before them they will eventually eat it. They won’t let themselves starve. Also, as much as love to eat healthfully, we do eat fast food occasionally and I let the kids have sweets and soda sometimes. I believe moderation is the key. I don’t want them to grow up and go junk food crazy because they never had it as a kid. Raw desserts are great way to start because they are sweet and what wee one doesn’t like sweets?!

Your backyard is a nature preserve. I’m jealous. 

 

It is a big treat! One I am very grateful to have. The best part for me is all the birds. Now, if I could just identify all of them 🙂

You’re on an island, alone, and you can only listen to one song. Which do you chose. Okay, fine. That’s hard. Choose three.

 

WOW! Hardest question ever! I’ll attempt to answer it although I know I’ll be unsatisfied with my answer in 5 minutes. Ok, here goes nothin’- Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 in F Major by J.S. Bach,  Brokendown Palace live by Grateful Dead and Return of The Grevious Angel by Gram Parsons. But how could I live on a deserted island without Neil Young, Tom Waits, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Bob Dylan, The Doors and… Yeah, I take it back. I would definitely need a Neil Young song in there, maybe Helpless. Hahaha, nevermind. I can’t answer this question!

Do you ever stop doing dishes or laundry? 

 

Nope. Nor does it ever seem that I’m caught up. Ideally I should be doing 2 loads a day, five days a week but I don’t. The older kids help but it’s still never ending. The cooking and dishes are endless as well because we rarely eat out. But at least I enjoy making meals! Laundry… it still hasn’t gown on me.

I support home birth with my whole heart. I tried to have each of my boys at home and have ended up in the hospital both times (though still managed to have a natural, unmedicated birth). I know you have experienced both a hospital and home birth. Can you touch briefly on the pros and cons of each?

It’s such a personal preference. I know plenty of women who love going to the hospital, who would rather schedule a c-section and those who have no interest in feeling any of it. To each his own. I don’t judge but for me home births are FAR superior to hospital births. My first two were born in the hospital with the typical song and dance of being induced, epidural and episiotomy. I had wanted natural births but I think I was just too young and unknowledgeable to fight for what I wanted (I was 20 and 22). I didn’t think I had a choice. One of our friends had a home birth around the time my second was born and I was fascinated! I didn’t know that was even an option. I told my husband that if I ever got pregnant again that I wanted a home birth. Well, 7 years later I was pregnant again (and then again 2 years later) and I had the best experiences.

The only con of a home birth I can think of is it’s easy to start being too active too early. Since you’re at home you can easily forget what a huge ordeal your body just went through and end up walking around too much. Pros of a hospital birth- you’re already there in case of an emergency. Cons (it’s been 12 years since my last hospital birth so perhaps things have changed since then?)- even though you are just about to do the most physical thing in your life, you aren’t allowed to eat, you are more likely to have unwanted and sometimes unnecessary procedures done to you and you have to birth on your back not in a position that’s comfortable to you.

For this upcoming birth I will be back at the hospital due to insurance. I plan on doing things differently this time although I think it’ll much harder to have an unmedicated birth in the hospital. I’ll have to let you know how it goes.

How has this pregnancy differed from the others?

My first three pregnancies were great. Nothing about my everyday life changed really. These last two pregnancies have gotten progressively harder. This one being the hardest. I can’t exercise at all or even walk far without being incredibly uncomfortable and in pain. It really is a cross but obviously well worth it. Let’s just say I’ll be very happy when the baby gets here!

Your children range in ages from 2 to 15. What’s been your favorite ages thus far and why?

Each age totally has it’s own pro and con’s. I think a really fun age is 5. They are old enough to have a conversation with you and are curious about all sorts of things. They have passed the baby stage and are more independent but haven’t reached the teen years. It’s a nice calm before the storm when they still think you have all the answers.

It took me longer to love my second than it did my first. After my first born, I became a witness to how your love for them grows day after day. So, when I had my second, I knew the love I had for him that first day would piddle in comparison to the love I’d have for him in just a few short months. And, sure enough, I was right. Can you relate? How has bonding changed from one child to the other, for you?

Hmm, I feel like I bonded the same with all of them. Having children really young was way different from being older but I always felt that immediate bond upon seeing their little faces.

You look much to young to have a 15 year old. That’s not a question, but rather a statement. You can respond to it if you wish, or pocket the compliment and move right along. 

Hahaha! I was 20 when I had my first, which is young nowadays. People think I’m his sister all the time.

Tell me about your Etsy shop.

I sell my handmade macrame plant hangers and vintage clothes. I’m hoping over this next year to slowly cut back on the vintage and try to concentrate solely on macrame and other handmade goods.

My husband and I hope to open an Etsy shop this year. Advise for first time shop “owners”?

I’m no authority on this but I find the more you list, the more traffic and sales you get. Great pictures help tremendously but I think you’ll have that covered 😉

Anne Rivera | A Cup Full of Sunshine | Etsy

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A Family Session, with The Allen Family

A lot of photographers speak to the lack of photos that they take of their own children, opting often for their iPhones and saving their “real cameras” for shoots only. This has never been me. In fact, I’m finding that I’m growing bored of shooting my own children and am actually yearning and craving and dreaming of shooting other people, places, and families. Walking up to a family’s doorstep is like stepping foot into the office on the first day of the job every time. And I’m addicted to that nervous, anxious rush that it brings. I’m dying to shoot more. If you’re interested in scheduling a shoot or want to work together on a project, email me: ashley {at} thestorkandthebeanstalk {dot} com for more info. I have a special deal going on for those who book now for the month of April. Because I value my time with my family and also because I’m still in the throws of recovery, I’ll only be booking a couple sessions a month. I’d love to hear from you.

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A Family Session

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around, I’ll be opening slots for up to three family sessions at the Huntington Gardens (where these photos were taken). Details to follow at a later date and time. Thanks for all your support!

Now scheduling bookings for the New Year, email me: ashley {at} thestorkandthebeanstalk {dot} com

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