Today is the first breastfeeding posts of a couple I have planned. I know some moms that chose not to breastfeed have some residual guilt about that, so I want to preface this series with this statement: I truly believe and trust every mom does what they feel is best for them and their child. It’s a simple statement, but it’s packed with meaning. I believe pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are highly individual experiences. Just as a home birth may not be for you, breastfeeding may not be either. Truth be told, if I worked a Monday through Friday job, 9-5, I probably wouldn’t committ to breastfeeding either. In any case, what I’m saying is that I pass no judgement. For thsoe that are breastfeeding or plan on breastfeeding, I hope you can find something in this series that helps you out. Here we go…

I recently had conversations with a friend who is pregnant and my hairdresser who just gave birth a couple months ago and was a bit taken back with the lack of support they received for wanting to breastfeed. I was somewhat over-the-top with my commitment to breastfeeding Hooper, but even with that intense commitment there were several challenges and obstacles and times where I really really wanted to throw in the towel. What kept me going, you ask? Support. And it wasn’t as if support came knocking on my door in those hard times, it was a conscious effort on my part to seek it out in those tough and trying times. For starters, I had the knowledge of the fact that I was solely breastfed for my first 12 months of life. In my own mother, I had a role model. My midwife at the time, Sarah, was also a lactation consultant and made herself more than available for all of my “what should I do?” and “should I keep going?” questions. She was great and I’ve already had conversations with her this time around for continued lactation support.

Breastfeeding is hard. I had the best of circumstances in that Hooper and Van latched perfectly and I had little discomfort, and the whole experience was  and still is incredibly difficult. If I wasn’t so intensely committed, I wouldn’t have persevered. I know that. That’s why I think if you make the decision to breastfeed, you have to set yourself up for success before the baby comes. Here’s some advice I would like to offer:

-Seek advice and support from others who were successful. Lots of people quit for lots of valid reasons, reasons I can surely sympathize with, but when you’re trying to persevere these aren’t the people you want to turn to. Instead, find a role model. I luckily had my mother and knowing she made the sacrifices for me was enough for me to be committed to making the sacrifices for my boys.

-Take a breastfeeding class. It’s so important to know what to expect and to have some sort of knowledge prior to starting out. The first few months are the hardest and I think this is the easiest time to give up. I would recommend doing research before hand and coming to the class with a few questions or concerns that are personal to what you envision your circumstances to be.

-Research breastfeeding support groups in your area. I believe the La Leche League is nationwide. I never used our local La Leche League, but I never had a lack of support either. Again, it’s the breastfeeding mother’s responsibility to set herself up for success. If you assess your situation and lack of support is something you notice, you need to determine where you are going to get the needed support.

-Have a conversation with your husband. It was difficult for me because I felt pressured several times throughout Hooper’s first year to supplement with formula. This pressure did not come from his pediatrician, who fully supported my dedication to solely breastfeed, it came from Willy. It was out of love and concern, but at the time it felt very harsh and un-supportive. I finally sat down with Willy and we discussed my feelings. I told him that what I need is nothing more than continued support and a pat on the back from time to time. I assured him that Hooper’s health was also in my best interest (we worried because he’s always been so thin) and that if he had concerns he needed to bring them to the pediatrician instead of me as there was no way for me to make him drink more or to feed him anymore than I was. I swear, that boy lived at the breast for his first three months. Anyway, make your desire to breastfeed clear to your husband and request his full support. Help him understand that support takes many forms. It means encouragement to continue even when you’re complaining or hurting. It also means bringing you a glass of water to help keep you hydrated. And it also means accepting a grumpy wife who has been up all night because only she can feed the baby.

Feel free to leave any additional advice you would like to offer in the comments below.

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