A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
I’ve always had some degree of envy for the couples who don’t plan their pregnancies, but instead let nature take her course (religion aside). Both of my pregnancies have been planned. Van came along a little sooner than we had intended, meaning he came the first chance we gave him.
And two seems to be the magical number for a lot of people. I’m one of two, as is Willy. And good things come in pairs, or so they say. Much of life today is geared around the four person family; I mean who likes to sit in that little awkward seat in the middle when riding in the car? Or be without a partner on a ride at an amusement park?
I’ve always wanted three. People told me I would change me mind after I had my second. And I did, for a short time; mostly because with all the pain and stress my body had to endure with my back surgery I couldn’t imagine actually carrying, or birthing, a baby. But slowly, as my body continues to heal, I want a third again. Not right now (as I still don’t think my body is ready), but at some point in the future.
It’s a weird debate to have, deciding whether to have another child or not. You can either take the practical or the emotional side and you can really swing it in either direction depending on what you really and truly want. There doesn’t seem to be a “right” decision.
When the debate occurs, for us, it is centered around finances with the question of “could we afford another child” being the end of the debate because who really knows how much that thrid child is going to cost or who really knows how much anything is going to cost. And if we’re making decisions based on finances, was it smart to have any children at all? I mean if two is more affordable than three then wouldn’t the notion that none is more affordable than two also be true?
You see, it comes down to what you want because the pendulum can swing either way. Now is not the time anyway, so I suppose we will put off the debate for another day.
Do you leave things up to chance or go the planning route? What does the debate come down to in your family? Would love to hear from those mamas mothering three (or more) munchkins and how the third (and each subsequent child) changed things.