A photo journal comprised of my thoughts on motherhood and other life happenings, as well as some of professional work as a photographer. Southern California is home.
I’ve been near full blown preparation mode this week. Is it weird to admit that I’m saving a few things for the last minute? Otherwise, I feel like I’ll just be waiting around and waiting around was too emotionally strenuous the first time around. With that said, I completed our “emergency plan” and even have instructions on how to make the bed for labor posted by our bedroom door. I also completed what I refer to as the “scavenger hunt” for our home birth preparation. I have things like clean towels, a flashlight, hand mirror, paper towels, a large bowl and other odds and ends tucked away in a corner waiting for their time to serve their purpose. I’ve also begun taking some homeopathics suggested by my midwives to start preparing for labor.
I feel 37 weeks pregnant. Everything is just a little harder and now that summer has officially arrived, the heat is just one more thing that is not my friend. We are almost ready to move back into our house and along with having a beautiful new and improved kitchen, we also have an unbelievably messy and dusty house. Truth be told, my mind is going a mile a minute with all the things I want to do, need to do, and how I would go about doing them, but my body is just not listening. I’ve resorted to making lists of what needs to be done and have even gone so far as making other lists detailing how to do them, but I’m exhausted by the mere thought of walking out the front door to bring the garbage cans in. I told Willy I need an assistant and maybe a midget that could walk in front of me and hold my belly up. So ya, there’s a lot that needs to be done but no energy to do them. That just about sums up this week.
On a positive note, I found the dress I’m wearing at Goodwill for $5 and I think I’ve worn it nearly every day this week. It’s super comfortable and the eyelet trim stole my heart instantly. Score!
When you have children, you’re totally biased to their beauty. You marvel at their every move because the fascination with their potential and ability never ceases to amaze. But when I say my best friend is the most beautiful friend on earth, I’m not biased. She really is incredibly stunning and her beauty lies in her ignorance to the fact.
I love photography. I feel so motivated and alive when behind the lens. Every now and again a friend of a friend will contact me for family photos or engagement photos and my first emotion is always apprehension. I’m not a professional by any means and have no ability to place a person in a pose or set up a perfect shot. I shoot what I see, when it happens, however it happens. And that’s all I know.
Enter my best friend Janet and every photo takes care of itself. I have no nerves. No apprehension. No fear. Because it’s impossible to take a bad picture of this girl. Yes, she is that beautiful. Here are some pics I snapped from her baby shower.
I had the privilege of spending part of Sunday with her as well and the whole weekend reminded me of how difficult it is to have my best friend in another state. There was a long period of our friendship when I moved away and lived in San Francisco, but it feels different now that we are both pregnant. I’m starting to grieve all the memories we will be missing out on. I’d love more than anything to be there when her baby is born, to support her in whatever capacity she needs whether it be pre-labor, during labor, or postpartum. But being that I’m due just days after her, it’s not possible. Slowly the realization creeps that birthing her child in Utah will strengthen the roots she has there. The realization that our kids will grow up without knowing one another saddens me. I think of the photos I’d take of our babies together, as newborns, and instantly feel like I’m missing out on something. I wasn’t sad about it until this weekend. This weekend gave me a mere glimpse of how much richer my life would be if my best friend were here.
