When we were first time parents, we had no idea what we were doing. Who does? (Classroom filled with eager students waiting to be called on simultaneously drop their raised hands and slug down defeated in their desks). We were filled with anxiety and expectations and we were beyond exhausted. Willy had a difficult time bonding with Hooper in the first few weeks. He grew impatient easily with his crying and I had a hard time adjusting to my husband complaining about our baby. My mother bear instinct was extreme and I found myself constantly defending my son. There was also a lot of residual anxiety left over from Hooper’s birth, which was much more eventful than Van’s, in my opinion. Hooper must have sensed his Papa’s anxieties because he only wanted me. This fed Willy’s fear that he was not needed or wanted and added more responsibility to my already filled breastfeeding and recovering schedule. Of course interspersed with all the adjusting was a deep love and amazement over what we created. It just took a little while to get settled. The first week, or even the first month, was coined “survival month”. And we survived.

Van’s first week has been drastically different. Willy bonded instantly. With love came patience and it’s made all the difference in this transition. I can’t say our home is peaceful all the time, there are definite moments of chaos and simultaneous crying and diaper shitting and all the other fun stuff that comes along with balancing taking care of a newborn and a toddler. But the love and patience has lessened the challenge.

The difference has made me question medical induction versus waiting for a baby to come on it’s own. It’s interesting that with all we know medically, we still do not know what exactly causes labor to start. Based on my experiences, it seems that they come when they damn well please. I wonder now if Hooper’s introduction to the world was a little rockier based on the fact the doctor decided he needed to come out. Van is much more peaceful in his first week of life and I can’t help but think of the fact he entered this crazy world when he was ready. I suppose there is something to be said for being parents for the first time too that makes the experience a little hairier and begs the question, “Seriously? These people are letting me take this child home?”. We’re much more relaxed this time around and thus, the transition has been fairly smooth thus far. Can’t say for certain, however, what next week will bring…

Side note: Yes, we realize Hooper looks nothing like the newborn that exited my vagina.