When we had our initial meeting with our doula she mentioned coming back, within a few weeks, to discuss our birth plan. I hung on the phrase birth plan much like when you stop listening to the rest of what someone says once they use a word you’re not familiar with; a word not within your known vocabulary.
I didn’t do anything between that first meeting and our second, in regards to my homework, the birth plan, but figured we’d have her over anyway because – well – we like her.
When I arrived at the hospital to be induced to deliver Hooper, the only instructions I gave my nurse – through choked up words and a few tears of defeat – were, “please don’t offer me an epidural”. Words I’d later regret around the 6cm mark but no longer have the ability to form verbal sentences to retract.
By the time the ambulance got me to the hospital to deliver Van, there was no time to make even the meekest of requests; things were happening to me, not with me at that point.
Needless to say, a plan has never proved itself needed and it almost feels sheepish at this point to put any sort of words down on paper as if experience itself hasn’t taught me that plans are, in my case, for the birds.
So when she asked me, all I could come up with is “you… you’re our plan… and to get the baby out as safely as possible”. So that’s the plan: I’ll make some calls when (hopefully) labor starts, we’ll go to the hospital, and we’ll deliver a baby. Sure there’s lots of holes in that plan but I’m going to allow them to fill themselves in.
Did you have a birth plan? How close did what played out relate to whatever plan you envisioned? Did your plan change as events unfolded and if so, how?
I never had anything down in writing, but had a basic idea of what I wanted to try during labor. With my son, things definitely didn’t go as I had hoped. Around hour 19 I begged for an epidural and giving birth in water wasn’t happening. With my daughter, I knew I once again wanted to try a water birth and her delivery was everything I could have hoped for, but it also went scarily fast (to me) and I went into it fully knowing that just about anything could happen.
I think your plan of letting things happen as they will, is a sound one.
For the first, we had a rigid birth plan. He ended up a cesarean birth. For the second, we had absolutely no plan. She was a delightful VBAC. For this third, we again have no plan, but we are using a birth center instead of a hospital (if all goes well), so that alone will make it different. Birth is so unpredictable, it’s hard to have a “plan”, and I think different doctors and nurses can affect your birth too. Seems like you have a good handle on letting things go as they will. Wishing you a happy and healthy labor and delivery!
I never had a birth plan, but had wishes, like to pull the baby out myself if possible, delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, etc. My first birth had lots of medical complications, so none was followed (as to be expected), but the other two, all three of those things happened.
I originally planned to have my baby by 40 weeks, 4 days at the latest in a drug free labor. Fast forward to 41 weeks when I was going to a non stress test to make sure baby was ok since I was a week past my due date and an induction date scheduled for 41 weeks 2 days. I went in the night before induction to get prepped and went into a dramatic labor. Baby’s heart rate dropped and they broke my water to check for meconium … All was clear so there I was at 41 weeks 1 day going on day 2 dilated 1cm and water broken. I’ve never felt pain like that in my LIFE. After 13 hours of labor – I didn’t need to be induced after all – baby girl was here and healthy. All I wound up wanting in the end was not to be induced. Which I wasn’t. But I did beg for that epidural!